When You Look Me In The Eyes
by HookLineSinker5
Summary: Emma Swan has led a normal, dull life, filled with horrible situations thanks to her ex. Killian Jones has succumbed to a life full of sorrow and anger. They come into each others lives by chance, so it seems. As the days go by, they begin to realize what real happiness feels like. That is, until Killian's past comes back to haunt him. (Captain Swan AU) Humor,Romance,Suspense,Angst
1. Chapter 1

People tend to say that things in life happen for a reason. Certain events lead you to where you need to be. That happiness is just right around the corner where you least expect it. Life has a funny way of stringing you along, but you'll get there….

 _Yeah right!_ If that's the case, then life has a pretty fucked up sense of humor. Emma's life has been anything _but_ roads to promised happiness. However will she count the ways?

Shitty, alcoholic boyfriend by the name of Neal Cassady.

No sign of the college degree she's been dreaming of achieving since high school. Why? See number 1.

She's stuck being a stupid waitress, at a stupid diner, working for stupid tips. Why? Refer back to number 2.

She still lives with her parents… at the age of 24. Why again? Please, re-read reason number 3.

Thunder rumbles through her body as she lounges in the bay window, the glass panes rattling ever so slightly. Emma's eyes are still shut as her mind tries to focus on the sound of the rain against the window. The smell of the cinnamon and chocolate invading her nostrils. The feel of her favorite polyester blanket cocooning her in a safe embrace. What she's _not_ going to let her mind focus on is the fact that if she _did_ open her eyes, they would be invaded by the sight of a very stupid man trying to carry waterlogged boxes into the house that sits adjacent hers. Along with an even stupider man who volunteered himself and his wife to help him. Emma, was _not_ that stupid.

Her thoughts came to a halt when she heard tapping on the window pane in front of her. Sighing deeply, Emma slowly opened one eye to see her father's face mere inches from hers. Rain dripping from his hair and nose as he motions with a tilt of his head to meet him at the front door. Why he couldn't just come to the door was beyond her. With a low grumble and a quick sip of her, now lukewarm, hot chocolate she reluctantly climbed out of her cocoon and made her way across the chilled hardwood floor to open the door.

"Yes?" she asked a little too bitterly. Emma watched as David wiped the water from his face to no avail. The rain was unforgiving and looked as if it would stay through the night. Her patience was growing thin as she waited for his reply.

"Your mother had ordered some food from Granny's. And since you're the only one still dry-" he motioned to her with his hands with a half smile on his face, pleading silently. Emma raised an unamused brow before exhaling hard and rolling her eyes. David smiled and pulled out his wallet. "Thanks, Emma. The food should be ready by the time you get there," she took the fifty from his hand as he continued, "I really do appreciate this."

"Yeah, yeah." she muttered. "How's the whole moving in thing going with-" she glanced over just as the man in question came around the moving truck to grab another load of boxes. She _did not_ notice the way his muscles were showing underneath the rain soaked grey shirt. Nope. Not. At. All.

"Killian. Well, it would be a whole lot simpler without the storm raining down on us but, we're managing." he cleared his throat and only then did she realize that she was still staring at Killian? Yes, Killian. _What an odd name._ "You should get going." he had his _dad voice_ on and a slight glare in his eyes.

" _Yes, father."_ she pursed her lips and shut the door in his face.

Emma finished her cocoa in record time as she gathered on her clothes and slid on some rain boots. She threw her golden hair into a messy bun before sighing at herself in the mirror of the hallway closet door. She had this feeling of dread over come her. She wasn't sure why but, she couldn't shake it. Swallowing hard, Emma turned on her heel, pulled the hood of her jacket over her head, and left the house as quick as she could.

Emma weaved around the puddles in the driveway toward her old, yellow bug, quickly fumbling through keys. Her hands were shaking. ' _Why? What the hell is wrong?'_ she thought to herself. She had glanced up to the window of her car to see a boy standing behind her. " **Holy shit!"** she spun around throwing herself into the side of the door to see… nothing. No one was there. But the pounding in her chest and her inability to calm her breathing said differently. Was she going crazy? She had _clearly_ seen someone, right? Maybe the rain on the car formed an image of sorts-

"You alright, love?" Killian asked as he ran over.

An accent. Of _course_ he had an accent! "Uh, fine. I suppose." she muttered, not meeting his gaze. "I thought- never mind." she shook her head and turned back to the car door to let herself in.

Killian placed a strong hand on the top of the door to keep her from opening it. An eyebrow arched as her eyes finally met his. Emerald eyes meeting icy blue. "You thought-?" he urged, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Really. It's nothing." she bit back, forcing the door open, her eyes challenging his. Emma saw a slight nod as he backed away, hands in the air, surrendering.

"Very well. Just wanted to be sure you were alright. It looked as though you had," he turned on his heel, a smirk on his face, "seen a ghost." The last of his sentence was nearly missed over the sound of the rain picking up. And with that, he quickly made his way back to his front porch to shield himself from the rain. Emma thought she spotted an amused look on his face through the downpour as he conspicuously watched her get into the car and slam the door behind her.

She was right. He _was_ a _stupid_ man.

* * *

 **Emma** was **shrugging off a drunken Neal for the third time as Ruby finished boxing up the order. He reeked of beer and horrible decisions.**

"Come on, babes…" he pleaded in her ear. "You know this break is fucking redundant." Neal's fingers found a wet strand of blonde hair and gently stroked it. "I love you. You love me. Perfect happily ever after."

Emma had to fight the urge not to regurgitate all over Ruby's clean counter top. She closed her eyes and turned away from him. "There's a difference between a break and a break _up._ " she muttered.

"Not with us." he retorted.

"Go away!" she finally yelled, snapping her head towards him. Emma saw the exact moment that Neal's eyes changed. They went dark as his fingers yanked the strand it had been toying with causing her to yelp in pain.

Ruby was in front of them in seconds. "Neal…" she growled in warning, "Leave now before Granny gets reacquainted with her shotgun." She glared menacingly when she noticed Neal clench his fist at his side. "Now."

Neal seemed to give up for the moment. He threw his hands up in the air as he stood to his feet. "Whatever. Not like it's going to matter in a day or two anyway. Emma just can't seem to let me go." he smirked before giving her cheek a hard smooch. But, just before he pulled away, his lips touched her ear to whisper, "You will _**never**_ find anyone who loves you. You're stuck with me, princess." he chuckled darkly and backed away, still eyeing Emma.

Once the door chimed Emma let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Along with a stray tear or two. But, she quickly wiped those away before Ruby had noticed.

"I'm sorry." Ruby whispered, shoving the to-go containers in front of Emma. "I would've warned you but you showed before I even got the chance." she offered an apologetic smile before taking the fifty Emma had managed to pull from her jeans pocket.

"'s okay." she reassured. "Um, I'm on the schedule for tomorrow, right? Morning shift?"

Ruby nodded, her red lips pursed. "I can cover-"

"No! Um, no… I'll be here." Emma kept her head down as she grabbed the change and the food. "Thanks." she muttered before quickly leaving the diner.

* * *

 **Everyone was now changed out of their soggy clothes and finishing their meals around the fireplace in Killian's new place. Mary Margaret had insisted on having Killian over for a proper meal once he was good and settled. Of course he was honored. The bastard.**

Emma wasn't even sure why she was so angry towards him. She didn't know him from Adam. And yet, the animosity she held was indescribable. The way his stupid hair was now sticking in every direction from air drying was annoying. The perfect chiseled features of his face were irritating. The way his stubble was kept at just the right length-

She straightened when his eyes glanced in her direction, clearly trying to hide the amusement dancing behind those stupid blue eyes. A bushy brow shot up and his lips turned up in a half smile before returning to his mozzarella sticks.

" _I hate you."_ she thought to herself with a glare in his direction.

"Cat got your tongue, love?" he asked into his greasy coated brown paper bag. Obviously, he was avoiding her gaze and she couldn't help but smirk.

"Nope."

Silence.

"It's just… you haven't really…" he looked over at her again and shrugged with a sigh. "Forget I mentioned it."

"Not a problem."

Silence.

Mary Margaret clapped her hands together with a smile to try and break the awkwardness. "Ok! Now that everyone's eaten… how about we help Killian put together _some_ of this mess." her smile beamed as she stood. David groaned and Killian choked on a sip of water.

"Mary Margaret, it's not even _your_ house to put together." he muttered as he stood to meet his wife's gaze. "It's a bachelor pad. I'm sure he doesn't want a woman's touch." he stated with a shrug.

Emma didn't miss the sly glance Killian threw her way. With a reluctant sigh, she stood to her feet and pointed towards the kitchen, motioning him to join her. It didn't take him long to scramble to his feet and hurry behind her.

The place was quite nice from what she's seen. Gorgeous hardwood floors. Amazing detailing in the wood paneling around the doorways. She stopped herself, though. This wasn't her house. She didn't even know this man, and yet, here they are in the kitchen together.

" _Are you saying I can't even put the cups in the cabinets for him?!"_

" _It's not your house, dear."_

" _What about the silverware? At least let me do that?"_

" _Mary Margaret-"_

Killian stifled a laugh as she suppressed a grin. Her parents really were quite the sight to behold. "Do they-" he started.

She nodded knowingly. "All the time. My mother is _quite_ the mother hen. She'd take this whole town under her wing in a heartbeat. I'll be shocked if she doesn't invite you over for breakfast tomorrow." Emma took the chance to look him over when he turned his back to her as she spoke to rummage through some of the soggy boxes. He had changed into a pair of green plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist. His shirt was black, hugging his arms as they flexed. The hem of it rising up his back the further he dug, revealing two small dimples. Her vision snapped back up as he turned around, hopefully hiding the blush on her cheeks.

"You know, love, it has come to my attention that I have failed to properly introduce myself." he seemed to be upset at that fact. "Killian Jones." he straightened up at his introductory, holding out the same strong hand that had held her car door shut earlier.

Emma contemplated as she bounced on her toes, eventually taking his hand firmly and nodding, "Emma Swan." She didn't miss that stupid eyebrow thing he does when she mentioned her name. "What?" she bit, pulling her hand from his.

Killian just shrugged and rocked back on his heels into the counter, crossing his arms. He opened his mouth to say something but her parents chose that moment to barge in.

"You will come over tomorrow for breakfast." Mary Margaret stated. It wasn't a request. "I'm making pancakes, bacon, sausage and eggs." she beamed.

"I tried." David muttered in defeat. "I really did." They all seemed to chuckle at that statement.

"That's very thoughtful of you but-"

"Don't." she warned. "You are coming."

"Aye." he sighed with a defeated smile.

"Good! Now let's go! I'm sure Killian is exhausted. I know my husband is." she gave David a small hug and a peck on the cheek before leaving the kitchen, David following behind.

Emma didn't know why she was lingering in his doorway. Her parents had already left for home but she could see David peering at them from the bay window. She gave a roll of her eyes and made her way across his porch. "Goodnight." she muttered. Emma gasped lightly when she felt his hand grab her arm gently. Her gaze fell onto his and his icy blue eyes were filled with worry. She watched as he closed his eyes and gave his head a small shake. "Uh-"

"Sorry." he dropped his hand instantly and backed up into his house. "Goodnight, love. I suppose we shall see each other in the morning." he fought with himself, wanting to say something more but, instead gave her a small smile and shut the door.

Emma was confused.

She didn't do confused.

" _Stupid man."_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Happy Birthday Colin O'Donoghue!**_

 _ **A/N**_ : This story is based on one that I had written in high school some 7 years ago. Loverofallfiction had actually encouraged me to recycle that story and mold it into a Captain Swan prompt! Obviously, it's going to take some time to mold that relationship into something more! But, I hope you stick with me on this and please, leave a review! It makes my heart happy to see you guys happy!

Also want to give a special shout out to my Beta, who is also my brother :) thanks so much for your help! He's been supportive of this storyline since I started it all those years ago. I'm happy you're here to see it actually become something!

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing but the plot!

* * *

Luckily, Emma remembered that she had the morning shift at Granny's the next day so, no. She would _not_ being seeing the man with the accent that day.

 _Ching._

Emma yawned as she rubbed the inner corner of her left eye with her index finger as Ruby skipped behind the counter. "Good morning!" she chimed with a red lipped smile. Her dark chestnut hair was pulled atop her head, the bangs held into place by two black bobby pins. Her usual skin tight white shirt with just a few too many buttons undone and painted on blue jeans completed her waitressing uniform. Emma, of course, was not dressed like _that._ She was lucky to have found a pair of jeans that were actually clean, let alone a shirt that looked halfway presentable. Her blonde locks were pulled into a ponytail and a few strands fell just around her face.

"Why are _you_ so chipper this morning?" she grumbled with another yawn.

Ruby gave her a sly smile that explained it all. "Why are _you_ so tired?" she asked in the same fashion. Her face fell slightly at the thought of yesterday and quickly added, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

Emma waved a hand to brush her off. "No, _he's_ not the cause." _This time._ She thought.

Ruby's sly smile returned. "Oh? But… there is another guy." she stated. Emma rolled her eyes. Ruby gasped and clasped her hands together. "There is! Oh my gods! What his name? Where's he from? What's he look like? How is he in-"

"Oh-kay!" Emma quickly stopped her short. "There is no guy… _per say._ " she shrugged and turned her back towards Ruby as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She could literally feel the hole Ruby's gaze was burning into her. "There's just this… _guy_ who... has happened to move in next door." she quickly finished before heading out into the dining area to mindlessly straighten menus.

"You've eye fucked him." Ruby mused. "I can tell." she was by Emma's side in an instant.

"No."

"You so have!"

"No… I've.. looked." she shrugged shyly before quickly adding, "But not like that!" Ruby folded her arms across her body, making her red lace bra peek out a little further from underneath her shirt. "Besides, I'm not looking for anything." she muttered. "I don't even know if-" Emma sighed. The whole Neal relationship has been a constant, non stop cycle. It's been this way since Sophomore year in high school. And now she's 24. It _should_ be done. It _has_ to be done. But, is it? She just wasn't sure. The whole stupid situation that is _Neal Cassady_ is just that. _**STUPID.**_ And tiring. And- She rubbed her temples with a groan.

Ruby took the hint and changed the subject. Sort of. "Sooo… why _are_ you so tired?" she asked innocently.

Emma sighed heavily. She _was not_ going to tell her that the man with the disheveled hair had been up all night. She was also _not_ going to mention the fact that his bedroom could be seen from hers. She _certainly_ _was_ going to leave out the fact that he'd been unpacking his bedroom, shirtless. That the bold outline of every stomach muscle was clearly visible from where she lay. She was _most certainly_ going to skim over the minor detail of how his voice sent shivers down her spine as he sang mindlessly to 80s ballads. The fact that she had noticed his window was open during one of the more hysterical renditions of 'Don't Stop Believin'' had prompted her to open her window to get a better listen well, that was just between her and the night. _Oh, no._ _None_ of _that_ was going to be said. So, instead she opted for, "There was this really good book I found online. Couldn't stop reading it."

* * *

Breakfast went off without a hitch. And so far lunch had brought in the slow roll of regulars. A piece of pie here. Some coffee there. A milkshake sprinkled in. Maybe a salad every so often. Yup, just another stupid day. At her stupid job. Making the same, stupid tips. And _another_ stupid-

 _Ching._

Emma closed her eyes to compose herself as she called out, "Go ahead and seat yourself." Putting on her best, fake, smile, she turned on her heel and immediately her face fell.

"Well, shit."

Killian couldn't help but chuckle and smile widely at her as he took a stool at the counter. "Is this the customary greeting here at Granny's or, am I just that special?" his stupid goddamn eyebrow shot up again as he simultaneously bit his lower lip.

"Don't flatter yourself." she spat. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Well, sometimes an individual gets an urge," he wiggled his eyebrows before continuing, "for nourishment. And if I'm not mistaken-" he made a point to look around the whole place before setting his sights back onto her, "-this is an eatery, is it not?" he smirked before raising the menu to block her cherry red face.

She growled.

He chuckled.

She crossed her arms.

He gently replaced the menu on the counter.

She raised a brow.

He mimicked.

Emma threw her hands up in frustration before stomping away towards the kitchen. "Ruby!" she screamed. "I'm going on break!" she angrily untied her apron and shoved it into Ruby's arms when she appeared from the kitchen.

"Oh-!" she gasped in surprise. "Um, okay?"

Emma perched herself on the stool next to Killian and glared. He returned her glare with an amused look of his own. "Swan."

"Jones."

"Wonderful! Now that we have pleasantries out of the way, what shall we have, then?" he smiled broadly and adjusted his leather jacket. Dammit. Now she was looking him over. Black leather jacket sitting atop a dark grey t shirt. His jeans hugged in _all_ the right areas. Shiny black shoes.

 _What the hell…. She was doing it again._

Staring. And he knew it. In fact, the look he gave her seemed to encourage it.

 _Nope. Come back. Reel it in._

Emma shook her head and looked away. "I'm not having lunch with you."

"You missed breakfast." There was a hint of something in his voice. Disappointment, perhaps.

"Yes, well, if you haven't noticed-" she pointed her hand to nothing in particular with pursed lips. "I have a job." she pulled her hand back and let her elbow rest on the counter. "Just so happens, I have a shift today." she rested her chin on her hand and smirked softly.

"What, the patrons can't pour their own bloody coffee?" his face was stern but the twinkle in his eye gave away the playfulness in his question.

"Apparently not." she stated quite seriously. "One time Ruby was so hungover… she didn't come into work until almost 9 o'clock so, no one had opened for Granny. She was also neglectful of her duties the night before and left the front door unlocked.

Anyway, Granny had come to the diner to find that Walter had actually _fallen asleep, standing up_ , while pouring his morning coffee. It was a mess. Coffee and glass, everywhere. After that, we've always called him Sleepy." she finished and listened to the sound of his laugh. It was actually a very wonderful sound. And dare she say it, it brought a smile to her face.

"Ah! So she _does_ smile!" his hands pointed out towards her face as if to present it.

"Yeah, yeah." she bit her lip to stop her from grinning and failed again. _Dammit Emma! Get yourself together!_ "I uh, have to get back to work." she drummed her hands on the countertop before clicking her tongue and sliding off of the bar stool. "Ready to order?"

* * *

She tried, damn near _pleaded_ the guy to go home. But, no matter what she did, Killian _insisted_ on waiting for her shift to ride out. He had taken ownership of a corner booth towards the back so he would be out of the way. Mostly he kept busy on his phone. Usually on some stupid Marvel game, pounding away at the screen like some crazed lunatic. But, sometimes she'd see him gaze outside the window in some sort of deep thought. She wasn't sure if he ever noticed her staring but, she couldn't help it. He just looked so… serene.

Emma grabbed her own leather jacket- no. It is not black. It is red. Thank you very much - and shrugged it over the, now stained, t shirt. After a hug goodbye to Ruby, she shuffled her way across the diner to mention that her shift was up to Killian.

Killian, being annoying as he was, stood to accompany her to her car.

 _Wait. What?_

"Are you telling me," she started in frustration, "that you _waited_ for _3 hours_ _ **just**_ so you could walk me to my car?" she angrily unlocked the door and he placed his hand on the damn thing, yet again. She growled in frustration and he chuckled in response.

"Some people might call that flattery, love." he offered.

"I'm flattered." she spat sarcastically. He smiled and raised that- Dammit! That's it! "I'm going to shave that damn thing off if you raise it _one. More. Time!_ "

Both eyebrows shot up in complete and utter shock. "Swan!" he choked in mock terror. He smiled once he saw the slow smirk that spread across her face. With that, he moved his hand down the car door and slid it underneath the handle. "M' lady." Slowly, he opened the door and allowed her inside.

"Thanks." she murmured before sliding inside.

* * *

Here she was. Sitting in her car. In her driveway.

Feeling the same feeling from yesterday.

 _Confusion_.

Before she had time to think about it, Emma jumped out of her car just as Killian came into view on the sidewalk. She had splashed in a puddle or two but was too upset to care.

"Swan?" he asked confused. "How long were you sitting there? It's at least a 15 minute walk-" he pointed behind him to signal Granny's.

"Why are you so fucking nice to me?" The words just seemed to fall out of her mouth. Clearly, that took him by surprise because his jaw physically fell open. She swallowed hard before continuing, since he was stunned into silence. "Why...-" she chose her words carefully this time, "-why did you take time out of _your_ day…" Emma sighed and shrugged. "Never mind." she muttered before backing away.

Killian looked on as she quickly moved away from him. He watched as she ascended the few short steps to her door and entered the house, leaving him standing there alone. It took a few moments but eventually his feet started to move again.

Killian was confused.

He didn't much care for confusion.

* * *

~after some self wallowing and a shower later~

"Are you _sure._ " Mary Margaret asked David for the fourth time.

David sighed in response, "Yes, dear. He _insists_ that he doesn't need any help in sorting the kitchen."

"And the den? What about the bathroom? The spare bedroom, perhaps? - David!" she screamed while watching as he proceeded to lightly bang his head against the kitchen table. Again. And again. And again-

Emma laughed quietly to herself as she slipped a beautiful red apple from the fruit basket and took a bite. "And you!" her mother pointed an accusing look her way.

" _Me?!_ " Emma asked shocked. "What the heck did _I_ do?"

"Have you even asked if he needed any help?"

She groaned. "Mom, it's _his house_. I'm not going to just invite myself over and start rummaging through his boxes! That's just… weird. And…. Invasive." she took another bite of her apple. Mary Margaret pointed towards the door with one hand as the other laid upon her hip. Emma groaned again before throwing the rest of her apple away, trudging out of the kitchen. "You better hope he's not an axe murderer!" she yelled behind her.

"Make sure to offer to clean his axe!" she yelled back.

Emma rolled her eyes with a smirk and walked out the front door.

* * *

She heard his muffled voice on the other side singing… _something._ She couldn't quite make it out through the door. Emma ran her hand through her hair a few times before giving up with a sigh. Her hands rapped on the door but nothing happened. She snorted when she realized that he probably couldn't even hear her.

Emma looked over to the doorbell before pressing the glowing, yellow circle. It took a moment, but, the music volume was lowered significantly before she heard the muffled sound of footsteps come toward the door. She quickly straightened her v neck t shirt and smoothed her hair-

 _What am I doing?_

She was jolted from her thoughts at the very sight of him. Killian had a thin layer of sweat on his tan skin. His usual messy hair was slightly damp. Chest hair? The man had chest hair... Emma noticed a blush appear on his face when he realized how little he was wearing in front of her. She's never seen someone scramble for a shirt so fast-

"Uh, my mom-" she started with a shrug and he answered with a knowing nod before allowing her inside.

The place was starting to take on the cozy vibe. Killian had, more or less, tackled the downstairs completely by the looks of it. A few art pieces were leaning against certain walls just waiting to be hung. Very little furniture could be seen, but there were at least places to sit, now. She didn't linger long, not wanting to impose. Emma turned suddenly and grunted when her body met his. Killian's hands had instinctively gone to her waist and hers to his arms. The blush that crept to her face couldn't be hidden this time. Her hands traveled down his arms as her eyes kept on his chest. Quickly, she shoved away, ignoring the intense urge to pull him closer. To see if his arms made her feel as safe as her blanket cocoon. But, she didn't because that would be weird. And invasive.

"Sorry."

"Sorry." They apologized at the same time. Killian cleared his throat and scratched the back of his ear. "I, erm, did happen to expect you. Your mother had come over after breakfast. Couldn't rid her all morning." he muttered. "She mentioned something about you coming over after work-"

Emma's eyes widened. "She volunteered me without my consent!" Shaking her head she turned towards the staircase in the small hallway and sat down. She planted herself right there. Didn't move. "I'll stay for an hour. I won't get in your way. Then I'll leave."

Killian closed the gap between them and sighed, "You don't have to do that. I honestly rather enjoy your company," his left hand grasped the stairwell banister and half smiled, "when you're not yelling at me." he added.

Emma groaned and put her head in her hands. She knew how big of an idiot she was earlier. She had practically ambushed him. "I'm sorry," she answered in a sigh, hands sliding down her face. "I'm shouldn't have pounced the way I did. You were extremely charming," she didn't miss the way he perked up at the compliment, "and I stomped all over it. Hell, I practically did a little jig." that earned her her a chuckle and she visibly relaxed.

"Your smile." he stated simply.

"What?" she asked confused.

"To answer your question from before-" Killian offered his hand to help her up before continuing. "I took time out of my day just to put a smile on your beautiful face." His fingers wrapped around her hand and gently pulled her to her feet.

Emma steadied herself, their hands still connected, and allowed herself a chance gaze into his blue eyes. She couldn't ignore the somersaults her stomach was doing. Her chest tightened. Cheeks reddening. Killian's gaze was so… caring. Is this really what it felt like? To be wanted for _her_ and not for her body?

Emma was confused.

Very confused.

* * *

 **Sorry for the odd ending of this chapter. I would have continued but, it seems that what I have planned would be better for chapter 3. Hopefully everyone is enjoying this? Yes? No? Please leave comments. Concerns. Requests.**

 **This will be somewhat of a slow burn. Just a fair warning :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**_ nothing

 _ **A/N:**_ _ **Surprise!**_ Double update in honor of our favorite pirate's birthday! Enjoy my fellow _Hookers!_

* * *

"Dublin, to be precise." Killian swished a tumbler of amber fluid in his glass.

"Ireland." she said in amazement. Killian and Emma had finished up some of the other rooms and had decided to take a well needed break. Which, naturally, led to an impromptu game of 20 questions. So far she has learned that Killian was 28. Loved music, 80s mostly. Had a knack for the arts. Every shade of blue was his favorite and he was from Ireland.

Killian also learned that Emma was 24, born and raised in Storybrooke, Maine and also had a taste for music. Today's hits. Her favorite color was red. And she was a sucker for the ocean.

"Aye." he smiled before tilting the glass to his lips and she watched as the amber liquid disappeared. Killian ran his tongue across his lips as he reached for the glass bottle and tilted it towards her. Emma shrugged.

 _Why the hell not._

She slid her glass across the kitchen counter and he caught it with his thumb and middle fingers. Pouring a generous amount in her glass he cocked his head to the side, eyeing her. He was obviously contemplating something. Emma watched as he came closer, closing the small gap between them. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

Her face scrunched up in confusion as her hand chased the glass he was pulling away, just out of her reach. Emma realized that he had done it on purpose. The close proximity didn't feel so unwelcomed on her end. "Shoot." she breathed.

Killian rubbed the stubble on his face with his free hand before reaching out to brush a stray blonde curl back into place. His fingers rubbing the strands before letting them go. Ocean blue eyes moving to her emerald ones, "Why is it," he started, "your last name is Swan when clearly your surname should, in fact, be Nolan?" Killian took a quick sip from her glass before placing it in her outstretched hand.

 _Well crap._

This wasn't really a story she wanted to share but, the rum running through her system gave her some liquid courage. More. She needed more. Before she started answering his question, Emma downed the oversized shot, scrunching her face as it burned her throat on its way down. A long exhale followed before, "Identity crisis. Age 20. I thought I knew it all. I…. wanted to show that I was in control. That _no one_ could knock me down."

"So changing your surname proved-?" he asked not really understanding.

By now Emma was pacing. It was going to come out sooner or later. It was a small town. Secrets last all of 20 seconds here. Eventually he'd find out from _someone_. Her face scrunched in aggravation. "Dammit. Okay, his name is Neal Cassady. We started dating my Sophomore year in high school. He was the jock, I was the cheerleader-" she watched as his eyebrow shot up in shock and amusement, "Can it." she warned. Killian turned his fingers on his lips in a mock locking motion and raised his hands in surrender. Emma rolled her eyes, "Anyway, everything was fine, ya know? The cutesy crap everyone does in the beginning. But, something just… changed." she sighed and slouched her shoulders. She's never even told Ruby all of what's happened and here she is, pouring her soul to a damn Irishman. "Drinking. Partying. Hell, the ass hole couldn't even keep it in his pants." Emma swallowed hard, taking the bottle in hand and downing another mouthful. Didn't even bother with the glass this time. "Then came the emotional abuse. The little quips. Anything to make me feel like he was the only one to love me. That I was stuck. Worthless."

Killian's anger was seething. If he _ever_ ran into this Neal character well, he'll understand why his nickname was 'Hook'. He gently took the bottle from her hands when he spotted her trembling. He wasn't sure if it was from anger or sadness but, he didn't like it. He pulled her into a strong embrace. Maybe he figured that if he could hold her tight enough, it would put the pieces back together. But, he himself knew that it wasn't that easy. He knew hurt. He knew pain. But, that would be a story for a different day.

She wasn't expecting him to hold her but, she certainly didn't fight it. Her head buried in his chest as her hands gripped the back of his shirt. He smelled heavenly. She couldn't pinpoint any one scent but, she loved it. Eventually, she pulled herself away and immediately felt the loss of his arms around her. She wiped a few stray tears and sniffed. "But, yeah." she laugh in embarrassment. "Um, I changed my name to Swan because-"

"-it was a new beginning." he finished.

She nodded her agreement. "A very short lived new beginning."

"You went back?" his brows raised at his question.

"I felt like I had to. I felt that what he said was true, to an extent. I wanted to be-" Emma knew love. Her parents loved her very much. She loved her pet cricket she named Jiminy when she was 6 until one day he had met his tragic fate with the vacuum cleaner. Yes, she knew love. One day she wanted to have someone look at her the way her father looked at her mother. The emotions were getting too real. She needed to switch the gears back. "Favorite movie?" she asked quickly.

Killian looked at her strangely but, understood. Her walls were going back up and he'd try again another day. "I'm quite fond of ' _Hook'_. Dustin Hoffman has the _best_ portrayal by far." he gave her a toothy grin before taking a mouthful of rum. "Robin Williams brings a sort of comic relief to the usual uptight scenes. I don't agree with the Tinker Bell kiss."

"All she wanted was a kiss." she countered.

"So hand her the bloody thimble." he challenged.

"She wanted a _real_ kiss."

"Well a _real_ kiss," he mimicked, "wouldn't have been so…" he waved a hand around as he searched for the words. "Oi! Forget it!" he yelled out, smiling when she did.

"You're cute when you're flustered." her smile fell and her eyes widened. _No more rum for you, Emma Swan!_

Under normal circumstances Killian would answer with some tongue-in-cheek comment but, he knew he must tread carefully. So as much as it killed him, he decided to ask, "And your favorite movie would be-" he trailed off.

Emma was quite thankful that he chose to ignore her comment. "Benny and Joon." she answered, truthfully.

He tilted his head from side to side as he debated this new information. "Can't really say I'm that surprised."

"Why?"

"A woman trying so hard to be accepted as an independent individual _blind_ to the love given to her by a charming bloke who would love nothing more than to watch her smile and be happy. Might I be so blunt in saying, love, that in a way it mirrors your current situation?"

 _Smug bastard._

"Okay, I'll bite. How is this relevant to the now?" she challenged.

"Exactly my point." he shook his head and took another swig of his rum. This time he replaced to topper back on the neck of the bottle before leaving the room. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration before placing them on the mantle of the fireplace. Killian hadn't heard Emma gather her things before walking to the door. His head turned when he heard her soft voice cut through the loud silence.

"I'm going to go. My father has probably paced a worry mark into the floor." she gave a soft smile and added just before she shut the door, "Thank you." She wasn't sure for what. Maybe everything? Maybe nothing. But it seemed to be the right thing to say.

A nod. That's all he gave. A small, _stupid,_ nod.

* * *

Emma wasn't quite sure when it went from being 4: 30 in the afternoon to damn near 10 o'clock at night. The air was still humid from the storm the night before but it still felt cool against her skin. She was sitting on her front stoop contemplating what had happened just an hour before. Her parents had a double date with Regina and Robin and were already gone by the time she came back to the house. The note on the counter told her not to wait up so she knew they would probably crash at Regina's. Gods know she had more than enough rooms in her mini mansion.

She twirled her drink around in the glass, mindlessly. What had happened? She opened up to a guy she didn't even- okay, she knew a _little_ more about him but, that's not the point. The point being, she had told him one of her deepest secrets in less than 48 hours. Emma groaned and downed the drink. It burned. But it took her thoughts away for a moment.

Emma's attention moved towards Killian's house. The music had started up again. She knew for a fact that he didn't have many things left to sort through, so no more surprises by her mother. Why was she sad? Where did this come from? She didn't have an excuse to go over and talk-

She wanted to talk to him?

No.

 _Yes._

 _ **No.**_

 _Dammit!_

* * *

The door was left unlocked. _Had he expected her back? No. That's silly._ But yet, here she was. Standing in the middle of his living room. She could hear Killian upstairs moving things around while belting out ' _18 and Life' by Skid Row._ It was annoying how easy it was for him to make her smile. A tiny crack in her foundation.

Emma was about to knock on the panel of the door atop the stairs when she noticed him frantically sketching something. Only then did she realize he had stopped singing. The air was thick around her. The feeling of dread coming back and her hand, the one still raised in the air, began to tremble. She spun around when she felt a hand on her shoulder but no one was there. "What the hell?" she breathed. A squeak in the floorboards behind her hinted that someone made their presence in the doorway. Making another 180 turn, Emma screamed and jumped back clutching at her chest. "Don't do that!"

Killian couldn't help laugh at the situation. "What? Walk around in my own home?"

"Scaring me!" she finally regained enough composure to straighten and meet his gaze. His normal icy blue eyes were dimmed. There was a hidden emotion behind them.

"I'm sorry, love. But, you _are_ the one who trespassed. I hadn't even heard you enter."

"I was about to knock when-"

" _EMMAAAAAA!"_

They exchanged confused glances before heading into the room Killian had just retreated from. Making their way to the window Emma saw him first. Her eyes grew wide and she quickly pressed her back against the wall, away from his line of view. Killian, on the other hand, raised open the window to lean on the ledge with his elbows.

" _BAAAABES!"_

Emma hit her head against the wall. _Why? Why can't this fucker leave her alone?_ She knew Killian knew who it was. He didn't have to ask. His knuckles turned white and his jaw clenched. The little muscle in his cheek flexing. Without thinking, she placed a hand on his making him take a sharp breath in. "I'll go down and talk to him." she mumbled.

"Not alone." his voice was stern and angry. He left the room in record time, Emma following close behind him.

"Wait!" she called. "Let me go first. If he sees you-" her voice trailed off.

Killian understood. If he saw her with another man it would escalate quickly. He didn't want that. With a curt nod he opened the door for her.

Emma sighed at the sight of him. Three quarters of a bottle of gin was gone. The last quarter sloshing around in his hand. His face was beat red and his clothes were a mess. The complete look of confusion on his face was priceless. He made a motion that mimicked "eenie meenie minie moe".

"'s this the wrong _hiccup_ house?" his words were barely recognizable. Neal stumbled his way over to her. It took him a few tries but he finally managed managed to stand - if you want want to call it standing - in front of Emma.

"Go away Neal." her voice was low and calm. "Go and don't come back."

He scoffed. "But I just came from all the way from that spot right over there." he slurred his words and motioned to the spot a few feet away from the area they were currently occupying.

"Yes." she acknowledged. "And now you're going to go further." she crossed her arms and tapped a foot on the pavement.

"No. I quite like it here." he stumbled forward in an attempt to kiss her when Killian came flying from where he was standing behind the door to push him away.

"She said to leave, _mate._ " he spat.

"The fuck are you? Are you a leprechaun?" he seemed legitimately shocked. "Are you fucking a leprechaun?" he was speaking to Emma now. Her and Killian shared a look before returning their gaze to Neal who had thrown down the bottle and had his fists up ready to fight.

"Mate-" Killian sighed. "You're bloody drunk. And as much as I'd love to punch your lights out-"

"Enough talking Keebler!" and with that, Neal threw the first punch, hitting nothing but air since all Killian had to do was move an inch to the left. Neal fell on his face right at their feet.

"That was the easiest fight I've ever won!" Killian smiled fondly. Emma rolled her eyes and knelt down beside Neal, checking for a pulse. "Is the bloody man still alive?" he questioned.

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll call Graham to come pick him up." she muttered as she stood. Killian was still smiling. "What?" she asked, starting to smile herself.

He shook his head. "Nothing, I can assure you. Go on, love. I'll take care of our friend here. You go and get some rest." And before she could protest he took her hand, gave it a quick peck and shooed her off.

Emma had just opened her front door when Killian called over, "Oh! And Swan? Don't stare so hard next time." he grinned and ran his tongue along his lower lip before he mimicked a dance move had done the previous night. A blush crept up to her cheeks when she realized he _knew_ she had watched him.

 _Damn._

* * *

 _ **Ok, I know it's only chapter 3 and it went for a dive in deep side of the pool. I promise next chapter will be a little more fun!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ _Characters and Storybrooke are not mine. Just borrowed for the time being_

 _ **Author's Note**_ _ **:**_ _I tore this chapter apart three different times. I apologize if the ending seems rushed but I just couldn't figure out a good transition. As always, leave reviews. Let me know how I did._

* * *

A week had passed since the Neal incident. He had spent the night in a jail cell before being released. She never understood the law enforcement in this town. Everyone seemed to get off scotch free with only a slap on the wrist to show for it. Luckily, though, nothing really happened in this sleepy town. A few drunk calls here. A lost dog there. A pretty safe neighborhood to settle down and raise a family. Not that Emma's mind traveled to that scenario.

Killian was more than a little pissed off at the jurisdiction. He just could not fathom why Sheriff Graham didn't charge the man for a damn thing.

" _What do you mean there aren't any bloody charges?!" he yelled at the sheriff. "He should have had, at the least, two from my recollection of events!"_

" _Now, now-" Sheriff Graham started. "No one was hurt. There was no harm done." he waved a hand as if to brush off the night he had to scrape the black-out drunk Neal off of Killian's front lawn. "He slept it off and he's free to go." Graham straightened when he noticed the posture Killian had shifted into._

 _His fists were clenched and knuckles were bright white. They slammed on the desk in front of him, knocking off a sloppily stacked tower of papers and rattling the pens in the holder, as he glared daggers at the man now trembling in his chair._ Some Sheriff this is. _He thought to himself. But, that's not what came pouring out of his mouth through clenched teeth. Killian leaned dangerously close before stating, "That statement is only true because I stopped it." he emphasized the 't'. "If I had not been present -" his face along with the tips of his ears began to turn red out of anger. His voice raised now, "Do you understand the horrendous things that man could have done!?"_

 _Graham cleared his throat as he stood. He needed to regain control. He_ was _the sheriff after all. "I am perfectly aware. I, of course, am the-"_

 _Killian scoffed. "A shiny badge and a fancy uniform mean_ nothing!" _he threw his hands in his hair in frustration making the hairs stand on end when he was finished. "Are you really that incompetent? Bloody-" he took a few deep breaths to steady his nerves. "No matter." he muttered. He pushed past the sheriff, bumping shoulders as he did so. He didn't look back. If he wanted things taken care of, he was obviously going to have to take matters into his own hands._

The morning was beautiful. Emma had the day off and she knew exactly how she wanted to spend it. She just needed an excuse first.

She didn't have to wait long, of course. Killian's voice carried over from his bedroom window to hers. His accent was more thick and groggy in the mornings.

"Good morning, love!" his sleepy smile was soft and inviting. His brown hair even more disheveled and his icy stare was still glazed over with sleep.

Emma couldn't help but smile before crossing the wooden floor to her own window. "Morning, Jones." she swept her blonde curls over one shoulder as she stuck her head through the opening. "I do have a phone, you know."

"Ah, yes. Of course. But, I won't get to see your gorgeous smile through a mouthpiece, now will I?" he bit down on his lower lip and raised his eyebrows.

"I suppose not." she couldn't hide the smiles he caused anymore. Emma wasn't sure how he managed to do it. She wasn't sure she's ever smiled as much as she had this past week. In between working and showing Killian around town, he still managed to make little moments like these. Little actions of flattery. Moments just between them. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't enjoy them.

"What are the plans for today?" he asked with a rub of his eye.

"My schedule is actually free for the moment-"

"Perfect!" he slapped a hand on the window sill and smiled widely. "Meet me out front in an hour." and before she could say another word, he closed the window and disappeared from view.

* * *

Emma had showered quickly and dressed just the same. She wore faded wash skinny jeans, a loose fitted white shirt that she had tucked in the front of her jeans with her red leather jacket over the top. She pulled on some tan colored riding style boots before checking herself in her bathroom mirror. Why was she so worried about her appearance all of a sudden? It's not like he hadn't seen her at her worst. A few days ago he had experienced a mishap at the diner. Robin's son, Roland, had thrown quite the tantrum when Regina had told him that it was just too close to his bedtime for a milkshake. He's 4. So, naturally, he did what any overtired 4 year old did. Pick up the nearest thing and throw it.

The thing- Robin's newly refilled Coke.

The thing it hit- Emma. All down the front of her.

Killian and Robin couldn't help their laughter that roared through the diner. Emma was horrified and Regina well, was Regina. It wasn't like it was _her_ shirt that the kid ruined. Killian ran to help her once he could actually manage to breathe.

She was leaning against her car waiting patiently when she heard footsteps approaching from behind. A huge smile formed on her face when she turned to see Killian Jones standing in all of his handsome glory.

 _Handsome? Yes. Handsome._

Killian mirrored her outfit. Tight, dark wash jeans, a black fitted t shirt underneath his signature black leather jacket. Complete with pointed black shoes. A smile adorned his face as well.

"Hi." she greeted.

"Hello." he answered back.

"Where are we off to?" she asked, pushing herself off of the yellow bug.

"I was wondering if you'd fancy a stroll with me at the docks?" his eyes were hopeful. Stepping closer, he brushed a stray strand of blonde curl behind her ear, allowing his thumb to lightly trace her jawline before pulling his hand back.

Emma's jaw fell open slightly at his caress. The ghost of his touch still on her cheek. it was an innocent touch. A touch that made her shiver. She was starting to wonder what his other caresses would feel like-

Blinking back to the present she cleared her throat, nodding her head. "Yeah. Yeah, of course." she tilted her head in surprise when he offered her his right arm. "Really?" she asked with with a raised brow.

"I'm always a gentleman." he grinned at her before nudging his outstretched arm again for her to take. He sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation, "Must you always be this stubborn?"

She hummed with a sly grin. "It's kinda my thing."

"Bloody hell, Swan. Then fine. If you'd rather-" he bent forward stretching his arm out to allow her ahead of him. "By all means, lead the way."

* * *

They had spent a good portion of the day talking about nothing in particular. Emma sharing more stories about the town and Killian enjoying each and every one of them. He hadn't shared much since the night of _Neal_ and it made her think that perhaps he had walls of his own. His own hurt. His own Neal, perhaps?

"Earth to Emma!" Ruby called. They ended up at Granny's for a late lunch. Robin had unglued his hip from Regina long enough to meet Will Scarlet at the diner. Killian had made friends in the both of them and that's where her attention was at the moment. Watching as Killian laughed at a stupid story Will had been telling in the booth across the diner. "Emma!" Ruby snapped her fingers in front of her face this time.

Emma blinked and turned her head towards Belle and Ruby. "Um, what?" she gave them a shared glance when they started to stifle their giggles.

"You've got it bad." Ruby drawled, her red lips forming into a wolf like smile. "I say jump his bones and get it over with."

"No! Emma, don't do that." Belle instructed. "You have have to make sure it's love."

"What!?" Emma gasped with wide eyes. "It's only been a week. We're not even dating!" she buried her face in her hands to hide the blush on her face.

"The way you look at him-" Ruby started, "It's quite obvious."

"I agree." Belle chimed in.

"I'm not having this conversation with you two." she mumbled through her hands. "I'm not." she repeated.

"Fine then." Ruby shrugged and sat back in her chair. "Then I'll force you two to have it on your own." another wolfish grin.

Emma's hands fell to the table with a loud _thud_. "And how would you accomplish that?" she asked warily through slitted eyes. " _If_ it were even something that needed to be discussed. Which it's not." she added.

"It is." Ruby countered. "It most certainly is."

Emma tensed when she saw Killian jump to his feet and barrel out the door. Her expression was one of confusion and concern. "What the hell?" she muttered before following him out of the diner.

Once outside, she saw no one. No trace of Killian. She was about to return inside when she heard something coming from the alley way. Hushed voices. She clutched her jacket as she slowly closed in on the entry.

" _She doesn't want to see you. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Why can't you just leave her be?"_ Killian.

" _If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had feelings for the bitch."_ Neal. _There was scuffle and a thump followed by a grunted exhale._

" _Don't_ **ever** _disrespect a lady, mate." Killian spat._

Emma chanced it. She peaked around the edge of the wall, her eyes widening at the view. Killian had Neal pinned against the wall, his fists tangled in the sleeves of his shirt. His face distorted with extreme anger. Neal's face was bruised and drool mixed with blood dripped from his lips as he tried to catch his breath. Obviously, what she had heard was Killian punching him in the gut.

"Why? It's gotten me this far-" Neal smiled a bloody grin. There was no time to process anything else. It had happened too fast. Killian's right hand dropped Neal's sleeve to bring his arm back. He tried to move out of the way but Killian was too quick. His hand met Neal's face with a sickening crunch and she watched as his body straightened just before falling backward, hitting the pavement just inches from a puddle. Killian was breathing hard through his nostrils with a clenched jaw as he stood over the top of Neal's motionless body, flexing his right hand a few times.

Dark blue eyes flickered up to meet her shocked green ones. Her face a sickening white. His face immediately softened, leaving a shocked and disappointed look in its wake. "Emma-" he started, taking a few steps towards her.

"Don't." she warned. "Just don't." Emma turned around feeling sick. She started walking, there was no place in mind. Just, anywhere away from there.

Killian growled in frustration and punched the nearby dumpster. "Fuck!" he yelled out in pain. Half was from his own stupidity and half was because he had bruised his knuckles on Neal's god damned face. His hand was throbbing and he needed to tend to it.

* * *

 **-meanwhile, back in the diner-**

"Oi! What was all that, then?" Will called out as he rose from the booth.

"I've no clue." Belle chimed in, rising as well.

Everyone seemed to gravitate towards the front of the diner trying to gather any information as to what was going on. They watched as Emma stormed off one way, and Killian, the opposite direction.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "How did they manage _that_ in such a short time?" she questioned to no one in particular.

Leroy was walking past the diner when he glanced up and stopped in his tracks. There were eight pairs of eyes peering at him. He rubbed his own thinking that perhaps the last drink he had was catching up to him. At once the bodies of Will, Robin, Ruby and Belle scrambled away from the window and he grumbled something to himself before continuing on his, not so merry, way.

"Guys!" Aurora appeared from the kitchen, shock sketched on her features. "Killian just knocked the daylights out of Neal! Come on! I'll show you!" Everyone exchanged glances before following the brunette to the back.

"See?" she motioned to the limp body in front of them. "I saw it happen through the little window in the storage room-"

Ruby gave a sideways glance, "Taking a nap on the job again, Sleeping Beauty?" she questioned dryly.

A blush crept to her cheeks before she cleared her throat. "Obviously not if I had witnessed this happen!" she countered.

"What do we do with him?" Belle asked.

Will nudged him with his shoe before shoving his hands in his pockets. "Leave him." he shrugged.

"I don't think I can just walk away from this matter. What if Regina-" Robin started before Will slowly turned to face him. "What?" he scoffed.

"You're bloody whipped, you are." Will accused.

"Am not!"

"Are too!" he shoved Robin.

Robin shoved back.

Will was attempting to get Robin in a headlock before-

"Boys!" Belle yelled to grab their attention. "Please! Can we return to the matter at hand here?" she motioned again to Neal.

Will reluctantly loosened his grip on Robin's neck and brought his hands up in surrender. "My apologies, milady." Robin straightened the collar of his shirt and rolled his head around. "Bet she picked out that horrendous shirt for you, too." he muttered under his breath.

"What's wrong with this shirt!?"

Will shook his head and chuckled to himself. "Bloody whipped, mate." he repeated.

"That's it!" Robin lunged at Will and they, again, started to brawl in the alley way.

The girls all rolled their eyes and figured they'd just head back inside. They decided against calling on Graham, that would only lead to more trouble than he's really worth. Plus, no one wanted to throw Killian under the bus. So, in the end, they decided that he'd wake up on his own… eventually.

Robin and Will came through the front of the diner, laughing, moments later.

Ruby's eyes lit up. She had just figured out a plan that would solve one of her problems. Not that it was really _her_ problem but, she made it that way. "I know how to get Killian and Emma together!" she mused pulling out her phone. She grinned at the screen as she pressed on the buttons. With a tilt of her head she slid the phone into her pocket and waited.

One by one, everyone's phone started to go off. Confused, they pulled them out and read the mass text.

 **PARTY AT MY PLACE!**

 **10 O'CLOCK SHARP.**

 **B.Y.O.B.**

 **XOXO**

All eyes fell on Ruby. "I'm going to go invite Emma."

"You didn't send her this?" Belle asked holding up the text message.

"Nope." she grinned and skipped out the door.

Silence.

"So erm," Will gave a sideways look toward Robin, "you inviting Regina, then?" Will asked slyly.

"Not this again-" Robin groaned.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ _still own nothing. If it changes, I'll be sure to let you know_

* * *

"I'm not going." Emma stated matter-of-factly. Ruby was perched on Emma's bed going on and on about how she just _needs_ to go to this party. That it'll be worth her while and blah, blah, blah.

"And let's face it Emma-" she moved to stand in front of her now, "You _need_ some fun." And before Emma could put her two cents in she added, "and I'm not just talking about sex. I mean just… _fun._ You owe that to yourself. To let loose for a night. Hang out with your friends." Ruby took her hands and pleaded one last time. " _Please?"_

Emma closed her eyes, taking a deep and thoughtful breath before exhaling a muttered, "Fine." her eyes widened at the sound of excitement that left Ruby's mouth. "Now go so I can figure out what to wear." she ordered as she pushed Ruby out of her room.

Ruby raised a finger to say something else but Emma tilted her head, smiled, and slammed the door in her face. _Well, that's that, s_ he thought to herself following a low grumble. Now, she has to find something to wear to a party she doesn't even want to attend.

* * *

"Oh, good! You're going!" her mother chimed excitedly with a smile. "It's about time you get out and have some fun."

"Why does everyone think I don't have any fun?" Emma asked as she rechecked her hair, pinning back some of the curls from her face before gliding on some lipstick in the reflection of the mirror by the front door. "And how do _you_ even know about this party?" she asked smoothing out the wrinkles of her red strapless dress. The one that hugged every curve she had. The one with the sweetheart neckline and the zipper up the side. The one where if she sat down the whole damn thing might rip. She paired it with some strapless black pumps and a simple necklace her mother had given to her as a gift for her 18th birthday.

"We received a mass text from Ruby-" her brows furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

Emma strode across the room and placed a hand on her hip, "What _text_?" she asked suspiciously.

"You are _not_ leaving this house dressed like _that!"_ David came into view and pointed towards her dress. "What is this? It's not even covering your knees!" he quickly looked away, raising a hand to his eyes. "You're indecent! Mary Margaret _do something!"_

She stifled a laugh. "Oh, David. She's not a little girl anymore." Mary Margaret quickly moved to his side and motioned for Emma to leave before her father could try and stop her. She took the hint, grabbing the black clutch and jacket from the back of the couch and proceeded to gracefully dash for the door.

She couldn't help but notice how dark it was in Killian's home. Had he even come home? She wasn't sure nor did she care.

 _Idiot._

Then her stomach dropped. "A text." she repeated her mother's words as she slid into her car. "A text. A _mass_ text. A _mass_ text goes to _everyone_ in town. Dammit, Ruby!"

Just then she realized Ruby's plan from the start. She purposely left Emma out of the group text so she wouldn't see Killian's invite. She tricked her into coming to the damn thing. Ruby was going to force that stupid conversation upon them.

She'll just have to avoid it.

Avoid _him._

* * *

 _So far, so good._

Emma had arrived at Ruby's house about an hour prior. She had yet to see any sign of Killian so, yes, she _was in fact_ enjoying herself. Ruby had a karaoke station set up but, she hasn't had nearly enough to drink to attempt _that._ Meanwhile, Leroy took full advantage and was singing his own rendition of " _Do You Really Want To Hurt Me"_ and she cringed. "Oh my gods. I need a refill." she muttered under her breath.

Emma pushed past a load of familiar faces, stopping to say a quick 'hello' here, and a 'how ya doin'' there. She finally ended up in the cluttered kitchen. Bottles had already littered the countertops and empty solo cups were carelessly thrown in the general direction of the trash. She was certainly glad she wasn't the one who had to clean up even though she might extend an offer to help. She picked up one of the bottles and started to inspect it. It seemed fancy. Too fancy for a stupid house party. Emma took the top off and sniffed it, a familiar scent. She quickly put the bottle to her lips and tasted the all too familiar amber liquid.

 _Shit._

Emma hurriedly replaced the bottle and spun around searching for the one she was doing a damn good job at avoiding this evening. Scanning the room she didn't see the disheveled haired man. She hurried back to the kitchen, hovering over the sink as she scanned the backyard. He wasn't there either. Maybe, if luck was on her side, he had dropped off the bottle as a gift and went on home. That was a possibility, right?

Wrong.

Oh, so very wrong.

Emma felt eyes on the back of her head and shifted her gaze. In the reflection of the window was the stubble chinned, hooded eyed, chest hair peeking out from underneath his button down shirt wearing Irishman. Her stomach was lurching and her fingers dug at the underside of the counter.

"Did you really expect to be able to avoid me all evening, Swan?" his voice was low but still loud enough to be heard over the thumping of music. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. "I take that as a yes?" his tone was irritable.

"I was doing a pretty good job at it-" Emma slowly turned to face him, "until now." her eyes flickered to the white bandage tied around Killian's right hand.

"Is this how you solve your problems?" he asked taking a few slow steps towards her. "Avoidance?"

Perhaps she did run away from certain matters. But, what did that have to do with him?

Oh- right…

"It works for me." she answered. Killian plucked the bottle of rum, the one she had been inspecting before, from the table. She watched as he twist off the cap before taking a swig. Emma shifted her weight to one foot and crossed her arms over themselves. She watched as his eyes took in her appearance, trailing over her body and then back up to look her dead in the eyes. "What?" she snapped, now placing a hand on her hip.

"Just appreciating the sights before me." he grinned before offering the bottle in a truce.

Emma's eyes narrowed as she considered before reaching out to take it. Killian pulled it away at the last moment, making it so she would either close the space between them or just walk away.

Her choice.

Killian waited, taking another swig and raising his brows. She hated the way he played these games, the way he toyed with her. Fine. If he wanted to play, game on. Emma closed the gap and watched as he raised a knowing brow. Her hand wrapped around his, the one holding the bottle, and moved the opening to her lips. Killian's adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he watched her red painted lips form to the bottle taking a slow shot of rum into her mouth. Her eyes met his. The hunger she saw in them made her feel as if she won this round. Her tongue poked through and slowly licked her top lip. Another swallow from the man before her. Emma smirked and took the bottle from him all together.

"Enjoy the party, Jones." she purred, smirking once more before sashaying from the kitchen.

Killian's gaze fell to her perfectly plump ass, a low growl escaping as he bit his lower lip. "Game on." he muttered before following her into the overcrowded living room. He spotted her sipping from the bottle across the way, eyeing him curiously. She was waiting for his move.

Emma watched as he backed out of the room and she immediately felt anxious and giddy. She had just started a war with Killian Jones and as much as it _should_ scare her, she felt oddly excited at the challenge. But the question at hand was, what was he planning?

Killian re entered quite a few moments later, followed by Will and Robin. Her brows furrowed in confusion. Emma pushed off of the wall she had been occupying and slowly crossed the room. She watched as he hopped up onto the makeshift stage Ruby had put together and began adjusting the microphone in its stand. Her brow raised and her head tilted in suspicion. Killian gave her a wink before murmuring to Will and Robin as they gathered up their own microphones and positioned them in the stands.

"I never shy away from a challenge." he smirked into the microphone and motioned for Robin to hit the button on the karaoke machine. Emma immediately knew the tune and shook her head with a bitten back smile. Was he seriously going to stand up there and sing ' _Cake By The Ocean'_?

 _ **Oh no  
See you walking 'round like it's a funeral  
Not so serious, girl; why those feet cold?  
We just getting started; don't you tip toe, tip toe**_

Apparently, he _was._ She nodded appreciatively and strolled up to the stage, gently placing the bottle of rum in front of him. He squatted down to sing,

 _ **Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a master piece  
You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with me  
You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy  
But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously**_

She started to laugh and Ruby ended up grabbing her hand, pulling her away from the stage to start dancing. Emma followed suit but made sure to keep playing at their game, keeping her eyes glued to his as she danced seductively with Ruby. It was really quite the performance. She already knew how much of an amazing singer Killian was and she was thoroughly enjoying it. Will and Robin were the back ups and they did a wonderful job as well. Everyone was laughing, dancing, singing along and having a grand ole time.

Killian jumped down, bottle in hand once the song was finished and made a b line for Emma. She had her back to him looking over her shoulder when he approached. His hand slid across her belly and pressed inward to move her body into his. She could feel his hot, rum scented breath against her ear when he spoke. "This is a dangerous game, love. Are you positive you're ready to play it?" he made sure to annunciate the 't'.

Emma rolled her hips back into his and heard him groan. "Are you?" she pushed her ass into his groin before pulling away from him. She looked back at him, biting her painted red lip and sashayed away once more. It was her move now.

"She'll be the death of me." he mumbled into the mouth of the bottle.

* * *

 _ **~a shared bottle of rum later~**_

Most of everybody had either gone home or had passed out in Ruby's place being that it was damn near 3 in the morning. But, the close knit group remained, polishing off what was left of the liquor. Regina was giggling in Robin's lap, Ruby's tongue was halfway down the town doctor's throat and Will was polishing up on his pick up lines to Belle. That left Killian and Emma-

They had decided to take ownership of Ruby's small bench in the back. The moon was low in the sky and the air felt crisp against Emma's flush skin. She leaned into his side to find a little warmth as Killian moved his arm to wrap around her.

"I quite fancy this dress on you, love." he murmured in her ear, tracing circles on her bare arm. He buried his nose in her hair, closing his eyes.

"I wore it for you." she admitted with a slight slur of her words. "All of this," she waved her hand over her body before shoving a finger into his hairy chest, "For you." she started to giggle and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're drunk."

"You're sexy." she looked up at him with hooded eyes. "Kiss me." her hand stroked his face and she felt him tense underneath of her. His jaw ticked and he looked away.

"Not like this, Emma." he muttered. "You despised me just four hours ago."

"And now 's all better." she slurred gleefully.

"Hardly."

"Why are you not as drunk as me?" she giggled falling into his lap.

Killian tensed once again and made a move to help her off when she just decided to roll right onto the ground in a fit of laughter. He tried, so hard, to bite back his own but, he failed. He heard Regina burst into another set of giggles having seen Emma fall to the ground.

Once he regained his composure, Killian bent over to help a still giggling Emma to her feet. "I think it's time to get you home, love."

"I don't want to go!" she stomped and sounded as if she were a child throwing a tantrum. Emma's face fell, turning white and she swallowed hard.

Killian noticed and his eyes widened before he jumped to the right, just in time, to miss Emma's projectile vomit. He sighed deeply as he gathered her blonde hair, twisting it between his hands, to keep the strands away from her face. "You alright there, Swan?" _splat._ "Right, then." his eyes looked elsewhere as he began to rub her back in soothing circles.

* * *

Emma groaned at the light beaming in from the windows. Her mouth was overly dry and she tasted of bile. Her eyes slowly opened but quickly shut feeling her head begin to pound. "Shit." she muttered.

"Here, drink this and take these." Killian's voice was soft and soothing. He helped her into a half sitting position and popped the tablets into her mouth before helping her drink the gatorade.

Emma chanced another peek at her surroundings. The room wasn't hers. _That_ she knew. "Where am I?" she mumbled out.

"Ruby was so kind as to let you stay in her bed. There was no way I'd be able to take you home with how far gone you were. It was quite the debacle to even getting you up the stairs-" his smirk was soft. It was then she noticed that he was shirtless. She sat up a little more before realizing that she was in his black button up. He seemed to have noticed the puzzling look on her face because he quickly explained it away. "You've ruined the dress, I'm afraid. Ruby was the one to change you. I just offered the shirt, no harm done." he moved from the bed, placing the gatorade on the nightstand. "I took the liberty in calling your parents and explained the evening. Your mother was a bit more understanding than David." he looked amused by the memory of the conversation.

Emma groaned once more before laying back on the bed. "Where did you sleep?" she asked. She looked towards the other side of the bed where he had pointed and noticed the makeshift boundary made of spare blankets. "Oh." was all she could manage. "Why don't you feel as shitty as I do?"

Killian scratched the back of his ear and shrugged. "I suppose I've developed a tolerance over the years." The light left his eyes as he returned to the spot he had been sitting at before.

"What, did the love of your life stomp on your heart so you decided to drown your sorrows away?" she asked before sitting back up on the bed studying his face. He scoffed at the irony of her words. Killian looked as if he was replaying something in his head and his jaw was beginning to tick. Emma placed a reassuring hand on his arm but he seemed to have forgotten that she was there. She knew she must have triggered some horrifying event in his past and immediately felt guilty. "Killian?" she asked softly as she shook his arm.

"You should shower, it'll make you feel a little more human." he rose from the bed and left the room without so much as a glance in her direction.

 _Way to go, Emma._ She thought.

Emma was showered and dressed in some of Ruby's clothes -a pair of jeans and an old tank top- and she felt a bit better but, she was still weak and her head was pounding. She managed to drink half of the gatorade that Killian was so kind enough to give her and made up Ruby's bed, folding the spare blankets and placing them neatly on the end. When she ventured downstairs she could hear bottles clinking together and the sound of a garbage bag rustling around as objects were thrown inside.

Killian was busying himself with wiping down the countertops when Emma appeared in the doorway. He smiled warmly at her but it didn't reach his eyes. "Feeling better, love?" he asked tossing the wet rag into the sink.

"Sort of," she tossed the shirt he had given her to wear in his direction and rubbed her forehead, " Why didn't you wait for me? I would've helped."

He chuckled as he slid on the shirt buttoning up the front and crossed his arms as he leaned into the counter. "No offense, love but, I'm not sure how much of a help you would have been." she gave a half smile and rolled her eyes. "Ruby went into work. Told me to inform you to not worry about coming in. She'd cover your shift beings that most of the town is nursing a hangover. The diner shouldn't be too crowded, today." he explained.

"I should probably get home. Get something to eat-"

Killian gave a curt nod and made towards the front door. "I'll drive you. All of your things are already in your car. I placed them there this morning." Emma gave him a curious look as she followed behind him. Was it just her or did he seem distant? Ever since her dumb question earlier he didn't seem quite himself.

The drive home was quiet. A little too quiet for her liking. As he pulled her old, yellow bug into her driveway she quickly unbuckled her seat belt and turned to look at him. His eyes met hers and his brows furrowed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I told you-" he started, "You were too-"

"No. Not that." she stated, cutting him off. He turned away from her and cleared his throat. "What happened?" she asked again. He opened his mouth to speak when her father decided that, right then, was the perfect time to come outdoors. She sighed in frustration watching as he left the car and walked around to open her passenger side. She climbed out and muttered, "This isn't over."

His jaw clenched and he slammed the door. "Of course not. Have a _lovely_ day, Swan." he scratched the scruff on his chin before quickly making his way into his house. Emma glared after him until her father broke her from her gaze.

"Your mother made some fried potatoes and bacon for you." she replied with a nod before making her way past her father.

Killian may put up a front but she saw hurt in his eyes. He's just as broken as she, maybe more so. Emma was going to find out what it was that haunted him so much. If he could pry a secret from her, she was going to do the same to him.

Emma _was_ going to find out whether he liked it or not.

* * *

 _ **Next chapter is going to be dedicated to Killian's past/life.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ _Just the plot_

 _ **A/N**_ _ **:**_ _This is essentially Killian's POV this chapter. It gets kind of crazy but stick with me! It'll be worth it in the end! Promise :) sooo… enjoy!_

* * *

Killian downed another tumbler of his favorite drink of choice, his tongue darting from his lips to lick up the stray liquid. His fingers tapped mindlessly on the desk in his study, the one Emma had renamed his "hobby room". His brown hair was a mess, his shirt he had worn the night before lay balled up in the corner, and here he sat glaring at the picture in front of him. His hands stretched out to clutch the frame and his face scrunched in pain and anger. He slammed the picture face down before grabbing the empty tumbler and throwing it against the opposite wall. The glass shattered into pieces, falling on top of the black shirt.

Killian let out a shaky breath as he moved to pick up the shards of glass and carefully transferred the shirt to the garbage can underneath his desk. He'll tend to it later.

He had left the room to get his broom and dustpan but upon returning he noticed the picture now sat at the end of his desk facing him. The smiling face of a young Killian stared back at him. He was no more than seventeen at the time. Beside him stood another boy, age of twenty-two, beaming at the helm of a sailboat. The curly mop of brown hair belonged to his brother, Liam. His jaw clenched and his eyes screwed shut. "What is it now, brother?" he whispered into the empty room. He waited for the all too familiar headache to start. He grimaced and clutched the broom in his hands as the scene started:

 _There was nothing at first. Just the sight of a blackened room. Then, slowly, shapes started to form. Chains hung from the rafters. The walls were made of wood and there was a lone chair in the middle of the area. Just as things became more clear, the scene blurred entirely. He couldn't see anything, just heard the screams of pain._ Emma _. The vision began to turn fuzzy. Just before it completely vanished he heard his brother call out, "Save her."_

Killian jolted back to the present. His fingers were shakily gripping a piece of charcoal when his eyes began to focus. A piece of paper lay before him and on it was a rough sketch of the room his brother had just shown him. The same wooden walls, the chains hanging from rafters, the chair. His stomach lurched at the memory of Emma's screams.

" _Save her."_ his brother's words echoed in his head. " _Save her."_

"From what?" he asked bewildered.

* * *

Killian was lying across his bed, a half empty bottle of rum hanging from his fingertips. He kept replaying the scene in his head. Why had his brother shown him that? He's given him other insights in the past but, nothing like this. Usually, his visions are more uplifting than this. Back in Ireland, Liam had shown him the house he was now residing in. The sign on the outskirts of town that read ' _Welcome to Storybrooke'_ came in another vision. He would get flashes of a beautiful blonde woman that he would draw almost every night. Killian kept that sketchbook hidden under his mattress. Come to find out, the woman's name was Emma Swan. Of course, he'd already known that. Liam had given him that information, as well. But what was he to make of this latest one? The vision prior to this, Emma had interrupted. The only thing he had time to see was an old, wooden door. Nothing too odd about that.

Killian jumped at the sound of his phone ringing. He had sloshed rum onto his bandage and cursed to himself. With his left hand he managed to fumble the phone out of his pocket and stare at the screen.

 _ **Emma Swan**_

He quickly swiped the phone and straightened up, "Swan? What's wrong?!"

"Woah, calm down buddy!" she half chuckled on the other line and he immediately let out a sigh of relief and deflated. "Nothing's wrong. Is there _supposed_ to be?"

"No, of course not! It's just," he moved to stand putting the phone on his shoulder and holding it with his cheek as he simultaneously started to unravel the dirty bandage. "You haven't called me before."

"Oh." she sounded surprised. She sat and pondered that information before adding. "I guess I haven't. Would you like me to let you go? Was I interrupting something?" she asked before deadpanning, "You know, _besides_ the self wallowing."

Killian could almost hear the glare in her voice as well as feel it on the back of his head. He turned and noticed that she was perched at her window, watching him. He flexed his hand and tossed the ruined bandage on the bed before fumbling with the bottle again. They both pressed the **End Call** button before he moved to his own window. "I wasn't _self wallowing."_ he mimicked before taking another drink from the bottle.

"Right." she scoffed. "Anyway, I was wondering if we could have that talk now?" she tilted her head to the side and watched as he played with the label on the bottle. "Jones?"

Killian took a deep breath in before sighing heavily. "Come on, then." he spat before pushing away from the window and rubbing his face with a low groan.

It was now or never.

* * *

Killian was sitting on his newly acquired sofa drinking his sorrows away when Emma knocked softly at his door. She didn't wait for an answer before entering. She made her way over and sat down on the opposite side, shrugging off her jacket. They sat there in silence for a few, very long, moments before he spoke.

"It's not a heartbreak in a way one would expect." he began. "It was a beautiful summers day. The waters were calm, the sky was clear. A breathless view if one could imagine such a thing. My brother, Liam, prided himself as this-" he twirled his hand around searching for the proper words before settling on, " _outstanding_ sailor. He would take me out on his boat and we would drop anchor in the middle of nowhere and sit there all day. Just lose ourselves to the sea and our stories. He taught me everything he knew about sailing… about life." he paused, looking down at the floor. Whatever was coming next, it couldn't be good. Emma made the split decision to move closer to him. She stretched out her hand to his, twining their fingers together. Killian's jaw ticked before tightening his grip on her hand. "Liam was the only father figure I really had. Our sorry excuse of a father walked out on us when we were just wee lads. I suppose we were just a reminder of the wife he lost. Our mother, she had died soon after giving birth to me. Complications during delivery I'd gather. A family friend had taken us in so we had a roof over our head and food in our bellies. Nothing more than that. It was a hard life but, we managed." he paused yet again to take another long drink from the bottle. Emma reached over, gently prying it from his fingers and placed it on the floor beneath their feet. Killian barely noticed the missing bottle as he continued, "The winds started to change signaling a storm. We were miles from port so we were essentially stranded out at sea. There was no way of returning since the waves were already choppy. Everything was tied down, the sails were secure, everything was done properly." his voice was beginning to rise in anger. "The waves were too much. The small sailboat was nearly capsized by a wave and Liam had ordered that I tie myself to something- _anything_ to keep from being knocked overboard. Another wave hit and I had just secured my line, with his help, beforehand." Killian took in a shaky breath as he reached to the side of him, pulling the picture of Liam and himself out to show her.

Emma released his hand to take the frame, tracing the happy faces of Killian and Liam Jones. "What happened?" she asked softly.

Killian put his head in his hands and gritted his teeth. "The bloody bastard didn't tie _himself_ down. He was too worried about my wellbeing to tend to his own life. After that last wave I called out to him and realized he had gone. I searched the waves for any sign of him but-. " he shook his head, "My brother lost his life, because of me." he choked out.

" _Don't_ say that." she gently placed the picture beside her before placing a hand on his trembling shoulder. "Nothing of what happened was because of you. It was a freak accident."

"I _begged_ him. I _pleaded_ for him to take me sailing that day." he argued, lifting his head from his hands. "I was the cause for my own brother's death! Don't you understand?! My mother! My father! All of it! Me!"

"No!" she took his face in his hands, "Look at me, Killian." His dark blue, hurt filled eyes met her gaze. "It was _not_ your fault. None of this." she repeated. "You can't keep blaming yourself." her thumbs began to glide over his cheeks when she felt his jaw muscles tense underneath her hands.

Killian raised his hands, finding hers, and brought them to his lips kissing each palm gently. Emma let out a short breath, her eyes bouncing from his eyes to his lips. She wanted to kiss him, to kiss away the pain but, he had been drinking. She didn't want him to use her to burn out the emotional state he was in. She's been down that road many times before. He must have sensed the apprehension because he released her hands and moved from the couch. "I didn't mean to burden you with my sad life story." he muttered. "You can let yourself out, yeah?" Before Emma could even respond he trudged up the stairs and she jumped at the sound of a door slamming shut.

Emma sighed and sank back into the couch, picking up the picture to take another look at the happy brothers. She wanted the truth from him and now that she had it-

"I'm a fucking idiot."

* * *

Emma lay staring at the ceiling in her bedroom replaying the story Killian had told her. He carries around so much pain and guilt, but hides behind this happy facade. Her troubles didn't seem so bad compared to his.

She didn't go to college and is stuck living at home with mommy and daddy. He didn't have a mother and he lost his home when his father abandoned him.

She has emotional damage caused by an alcoholic boyfriend - no. _Ex_ boyfriend - and he carries around the emotional scars of believing _he_ was the cause for losing his brother.

Emma was right as rain compared to the life Killian has led. She wanted to let him know it would be okay. That everything will be fine. But, looking at the picture of Liam and Killian she pieced together that his passing happened quite a few years ago and he's _still_ blaming himself. Her heart may be guarded but he had walls of his own whether he believed that or not.

She physically felt ill.

Emma reached for the phone on her nightstand as she sat up, crossing her legs beneath her. She wanted- no. _Needed-_ to make sure he was alright. She tapped her thumbs together as they hovered over the phone. Should she text him, or call? Glancing over to the window she saw that his room was dark so, perhaps he was sleeping. Sucking in a breath, she tapped on his name and began to write:

 _ **Hey. Just wanting to see**_

She quickly deleted that and chewed her lip as she thought of how to approach him.

 _ **Wondering if you**_

Deleted.

 _ **I'm sorry**_

Deleted.

 _ **Hey.**_

Sent.

She sighed and tossed the phone onto the other side of her bed not expecting a reply. Her hands rubbed over her face in exasperation. She was annoyed at the way she came off to him. If she would have known what his secrets were, she would have never pushed him into spilling them. Especially, something that dark. Her phone buzzed and it took everything she had to not lunge at it.

 _ **I'll be fine, Swan. Get some rest.**_

She rolled her eyes before punching the buttons on the screen.

 _ **I'm not tired. I'm just worried.**_

 _ **Worried? About me? How out of character ;)**_

 _ **Shut up. -.-**_

 _ **And, she's back…**_

That drew a smile and a quiet laugh from her. He seemed better than when they had parted but, anyone can hide their feelings through messages.

 _ **Did you miss me?**_

 _ **Always.**_

Her stomach fluttered when she read the one word reply. It was stupid, really. He was just responding to her sarcastic question. But then again, why did it seem like there was a hidden meaning there?

 _ **I'm sorry.**_

 _ **Whatever for, love?**_

 _ **For being an insensitive ass hole. I should have never pried. And, for that, I'm truly sorry.**_

The phone went quiet and she felt grief creep up inside of her. She had done it again. She had fucked up.

Emma was about to change into her pajamas when her phone lit up:

 _ **Killian Jones**_

Confused, but someone relieved, she answered the phone with a, "Hey." her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

"I don't want you to think that you are the cause for my actions or feelings. I'm not angry with you, Emma. Never with you." he explained. "I've carried around this burden for so long, I haven't any clue how to feel any other way. It is _I_ , who should be apologizing to _you_."

"Don't apologize. You can't apologize for something completely out of your control. I'm just happy you're okay." she smiled as she stood up, moving towards her window.

"What is it, love?" he asked softly.

"I just wish I could see you." she admitted. Emma surprised herself at her honest reply and within a moments notice his bedroom lit up softly by the lamp on his own nightstand. He moved into view, still sitting on his bed and gazed in her general direction. "That's better." her smile was eminent.

"Anything for you, Emma _."_ His voice was saddened.

They sat on the phone for a long while chatting about nothing. Emma was mostly trying to change his mindset, make him think of anything besides his brother. But, when she stifled a yawn that's when Killian told her to get some rest. She reluctantly obliged.

Emma watched as his room return to its darkened state, the shadows swallowing his room whole. She quickly stripped and readied herself for a restless night's sleep.

Killian lay awake pondering at the vision he received earlier. It was gnawing at him. Who could be so heartless as to take away the only thing that made him feel happy? The only thing in this small town that made him feel like he could be himself? To let his walls down enough to be accepted for Killian Jones and not the person he left behind in Ireland. His eyes widened and he shot up from the bed fumbling with the phone, nearly dropping it to the floor. He paced crazily as the phone rang and rang and rang and-

"Smee-" he sighed heavily pinching the bridge of his nose, "Aye, I indeed know what bloody time it is!" he growled. "I need you to look into something for me..."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ _Still own the plot. Still wishing for the ownership of Hook ;)_

* * *

 _Ching._

"Take a seat anywhere."

Emma sighed and exchanged a glance with Ruby who was busy trying to convince Leroy that he didn't need another drink. It was only lunch time after all. The diner was unusually busy today so she was extremely happy to meet the blue gaze of one, Killian Jones. She hurried behind the counter and placed a glass of water at his usual place and smiled warmly. "Hey."

"Hello, love." he happily drank from the water glass before leaning close, "You look ravishing today."

She released a humorless laugh as she wiped the sweat from her brow. "If sweat and stringy hair is your thing. The usual?" she asked turning her back to him to grab the coffee pot.

"Actually, no, erm," he rubbed the spot behind his ear, which she's come to realize is a nervous tick, before continuing, "I just stopped by to give you something."

She turned back around, coffee pot in hand, and tilted her head. "Give me something?" she repeated, confused.

"Refill!" Walter called out.

"Hold on!" Emma snapped. "It's not like it'll help you anyway!" Killian gave her pointed look and she shrugged in response. "You were saying?"

He cleared his throat and dug into his jacket pocket; pulling out a small object. Killian stood from the stool reaching over to grab Emma's free hand, turning it in his own and pressed the object firmly into her palm. He gave a curt nod before turning to leave the diner without another word.

Emma looked after him dumbfounded. Rolling the item with her fingers, she opened her hand and raised her brows.

Killian had come into the diner, complimented her horrid appearance, and had given her a thimble?

A thimble….

 _A kiss_.

She couldn't hide the smile that appeared on her face. Emma hurriedly shoved the metal item into her jeans pocket and moved to refill Sleepy's coffee mug.

* * *

"A thimble?" Ruby turned up her nose and shook her head. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen." she stated with a roll of her eyes as she played with it between her fingers.

Emma hurriedly snatched it away and placed it back into her pocket. "It is not. It's sort of, I don't know, sweet?" she argued before explaining the hidden meaning behind such an odd gesture.

Ruby gave a huge grin and folded her arms. "He gave you a kiss without _giving_ you a kiss and you think it's sweet?"

"Shut up." she muttered.

"I can't _wait_ to hear about the real thing!" she exclaimed.

" _If_ the real thing even happens. I'm not really sure where this is headed. Or if I even want it _to_ head." she explained honestly.

Ruby sighed exasperated, "Emma! Are you _that_ blind? He's _totally_ into you!" she rolled her eyes and grabbed Emma's shoulders shaking them lightly. "Wake up! I totally saw the way you guys flirted at the party. I think everyone but _you two_ know what's going on." she released her shoulders before standing to get back to work, but before she walked out the door she turned towards Emma once more. "It's quite obvious that he adores you." she reiterated before leaving the storage room completely.

Emma sat there mulling over what Ruby had said. Maybe he did like her. Maybe she liked him back. But could it really be that simple? They had only met just a few short weeks ago. Of course, he trusted her enough to confide in her and she in him.

 _Trust_.

Did she actually _trust_ Killian? Was she so daft that she hadn't seen this, whatever _this_ was, blossom before her?

The thimble pressing against her thigh was a pretty good indication of what he wanted. It was a small gesture and he quickly left afterward as to not to overwhelm her. He wanted _her_ to make the next move. It was all left on her shoulders. Whether she trusted him enough to move forward or if she wanted to keep him at the same distance.

Which side would win?

* * *

Emma was needed to close up the diner. It had gotten so busy that her and Ruby _both_ needed to stay.

Exhausted beyond belief, Emma slouched down onto one of the stools at the counter and rested her head on her arms. Ruby followed suit. The day was long and draining and all she wanted to do was find Killian and discuss what was going on. But, as it seemed, fate had other plans.

 _Ching._

"Closed!" Both Ruby and Emma mumbled from their arms.

"And here I thought I was special. Or, do I need to wear a leather jacket for that?" Neal spat. Both women straightened and turned to face the unwanted man before them. "Hello, princess. Miss me?" he sneered. His face was almost fully healed but there were still traces of bruising around his nose and eyes. She had heard that Killian ended up breaking his nose and hadn't been curious enough to find out herself. But, the rumors were obviously true.

"What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously.

"Why, to win my lady back, of course!" he took a few steps in her direction and with lightning speed Ruby moved in front of her like a wolf protecting her young.

Emma was grateful for the buffer between them but this was a discussion that needed to happen. If anything were to evolve between Killian and herself she needed to end things, officially, with Neal.

"I'm not a prize to be won." she glared.

"Aren't you, though? You have nothing else to live for. Why not spend the rest of your miserable days with someone who-" he stopped abruptly when a fist hit him square in the nose… again… and yelped in pain.

Emma shook her hand out, the pain was there but was cushioned by the adrenaline coursing through her veins. "I'm _not_ some trash you can throw out when it's convenient for you. I'm _not_ some whore who gives her body to someone when they need a lay. And I'm certain as all hell that I'm _not_ going to come crawling back to a piece of _shit_ who takes me for granted. I _will_ move on. I _will_ be okay without _you._ Now, if you would be so kind as to not bleed all over my clean floor, I have some matters to take care of." she gave a glance at Ruby who was smiling proudly at her. She waved her off and Emma nearly sprinted out of the diner and on her way to her new source of happiness.

* * *

She wasn't sure if it was still the adrenaline carrying her or the feel of newly found freedom that led her to Killian's door in the matter of minutes. It was a 15 minute walk from Granny's to his place and she made it there in a record of 6 minutes on a sprint. She was winded beyond belief and her mouth was dry.

She needed water.

She needed a ventilator.

She needed to let Killian know where they stood.

Her legs were like jello by the time she burst through his door. The house was calm and quiet aside from the radio that was playing from upstairs. She let out a strained breath before hauling herself up the stairs and to the first door on the left. The light was on and she saw him tuning the guitar in his lap, his back to her. ' _Photograph'_ by _Ed Sheeran_ crooned through the speakers as she tumbled inside of his study.

Killian quickly spun his chair around and was taken aback by the disheveled appearance of Emma. He rose to his feet, placing the guitar aside, and quickly came over to her just as her legs _finally_ gave out. "What the bloody hell happened, love?" he asked, worry lacing his tone as he caught her.

She couldn't talk, let alone breathe, but she was able to manage out, "Ran."

"Ran? From what? Who?" His face was full of concern as he helped her into the chair he was just occupying a few short moments ago.

"No." she breathed out. "To." she was clutching her side, heaving in and out as Killian brushed the hair from her face.

"To?" he was beginning to become confused the more she didn't make sense. He grabbed the half drunk water bottle from his desk and she greedily took it and drank. It wasn't nearly enough water but she was at least able to talk a little easier.

"To?" he asked again squatting down in front of her. "What the bloody hell happened to your hand?!" he yelled out, noticing the bruises forming on her knuckles.

"Not important." she took a few more deep breaths before looking into his eyes. "Ran to you." she finally breathed out.

"To me? I-I don't understand." Emma's hands grabbed at his face as she crashed her lips to his. It wasn't the 'first kiss' she was hoping for since she was out of breath, but it told him what she couldn't say. His fingers tangled in her hair as he moved onto his knees to steady himself. Their mouths moved in unison in a sloppy and overdue kiss as Ed sang over the speakers:

 _ **Loving can heal  
Loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know (know)  
I swear it will get easier  
Remember that with every piece of ya  
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die**_

They broke apart, hands still entwined in each other's hair, foreheads pressed together and were breathing in the same air. A huge smile slowly spread across his features and he chuckled a low sound. "Well, I'll have to admit darling-" he started, "I definitely wasn't expecting _that._ "

She breathed out a laugh loosening her grip on his hair. As much as she didn't want to move, she pushed off of his forehead to sit back in the chair at an attempt to regain the control of her lungs. They were burning and her side still ached, but she didn't care. The only thing she cared about at that very moment was the man who was now standing before her.

"I'll go and fetch some more water, love. Just stay put." he glanced to her hand looking a bit disappointed. "And some ice..."

Emma closed her eyes when he left, putting her arms on her head. Her breathing was returning to normal, but she still couldn't feel her legs. Opening her eyes again, she glanced around at her surroundings. She hadn't been in this room since they were putting it together (minus the time they looked out of the window to find Neal yelling out to her in front of her parents house) and she couldn't help but notice the picture of Killian and Liam adorning the one corner of his desk. Slowly spinning the chair around, she scanned over the few pictures he had drawn hanging from the easel in the corner of the room. There was also an empty guitar stand on the opposite corner and some crumpled papers scattering the floor. The room was quite bare considering how much time he spent in this room, not that she kept tabs on him or anything.

A paper fell from the easel making Emma's head cock to the side. She couldn't walk yet so she rolled the chair over wincing in pain at the use of her screaming muscles, and plucked the one paper off that the other drawing had revealed.

There was no denying the beauty of the swan that was traced along the page. The detailing in the feathers, the colors that were chosen to bring out the surroundings, everything about it was carefully done. It was a brilliant piece.

"I started that my first night here." Killian's voice was soft in the doorway.

Emma startled and dropped the page cursing under her breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's quite alright, love. I don't have many people to showcase my art to." he crossed the room and handed her two bottles of water and a towel wrapped around some ice. Killian kissed the top of her head as he bent to retrieve the fallen papers before placing them gently back on the easel, the swan picture in front of the others.

"It's gorgeous." she mumbled around the mouth of the water bottle. The one was gone within seconds and she started on the second before placing the ice on her hand. She winced and took a sharp breath in.

"Thank you." he motioned to her hand and raised a brow. "Care to explain?"

Emma took another sip of water biding her time as she spun around in the chair facing the desk now. "Um-" her voice raised into a higher pitch and she shrugged, "It's nothing." she lied.

"Emma." Killian gripped the headrest of the chair spinning her back around and stopping it short as he gripped the armrests. He leaned down and gave a slight glare. "You're lying."

"It's not that serious." she looked away once more and took another sip of water, again, biding her time.

"Emma." his voice was stern now. "You don't get that kind of injury over _nothing._ "

"I punched Neal in the face! Ya happy now?" she'd get up and walk away if it wasn't for the fact that her legs refused to work and Killian was practically pinning her in the chair. So, instead, she pushed as hard as she could off the floor and succeeded in rolling away, fighting the smile that tempted the corners of her lips when Killian nearly lost his balance.

"You, what?" he asked, catching himself mid-tumble and looking at her dumbfounded.

"Punched him in the face. I think I may have re-broken his nose, actually." she said matter-of-factly. "He came in talking shit and I was fed up. I was done. _I_ _am done."_ she looked to him now seeing a smile appear on his face and listened to him lightly chuckle.

Killian crossed the small space between them and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm really happy I get to do that now." he mumbled against them. Placing another chaste kiss upon them, he straightened with a sigh. "So, you decided to punch your ex in the face and then proceeded to come barreling through my door?" he asked.

She shrugged again. "This is where my head and my feet wanted to take me."

Killian raised an amused brow as the corners of his lips turned up in a half smile. "Your head and feet." he repeated. "Yes, of course."

She glared at him with a nod. "Yeah. That's what I said." she deadpanned.

"I meant nothing by it, Swan." he admitted. "And the whereabouts of your car?" he asked.

Emma's head fell back into the office chair as she smacked her forehead. "The damn thing is still at the diner." She was too worried about making distance between her and Neal and closing it between her and Killian that she forgot that she could have just _driven_ to his damn house.

"I can go and fetch it for you?" he offered.

"You don't need to do that." she sighed looking at him now. "It was my stupidity that caused this little dilemma."

"You are not stupid, Emma. Far from it." Killian bent forward, placing his hands on the armrests once more. "Now give me those keys, love, or shall I have the _pleasure_ of finding them myself?" he purred seductively.

Emma's eyes narrowed ready to challenge him.

Killian rolled the chair back into the desk, wedging it into the wall to stop it from spinning. Emma instantly rocked to her right side raising a smirk from Killian.

 _Bingo_.

The makeshift ice pack fell to the floor when she intercepted his hands from grabbing her waist. She hooked her legs around his knees trying to knock him off of his feet. They were both laughing when he wrapped a strong arm around her waist, lifting her from the chair with ease. She let out a playful scream and kicked the air as she tried to free herself. Killian's free hand cupped her ass and smiled wide finding the bulge caused by the keys in her back right pocket. He chuckled into her ear before bending her over the desk, causing the items that lay upon it to shift from the force.

Emma's laughter slowly died down, feeling his warm breath on her ear. He growled low and she swallowed hard. His left hand firmly held her hip against the desk while the other ran up her right thigh. Emma propped herself up onto her arms, pressing her ass into his groin. Killian sucked in a breath before nibbling at her earlobe, a low moan escaped her lips. "As much as I'd love to take you right here on my desk-" he murmured, slipping his right hand into her pocket to pull out the keys, "I should get your car." he kissed the side of her neck before moving away.

She sighed unhappily, collapsing on top of the desk. "That's not fair." she mumbled into it.

"I don't play fair." he smirked, jingling the keys. "Can you walk?"

She answered with a groan before pushing herself off of the desk. "Unfortunately." she muttered.

Still smirking, he grabbed her hip to pull her into his body. "I'll have to be sure to fix that another day." Killian pressed a hungry promise to her lips causing Emma to moan softly against them.

They eventually made it to her driveway, both reluctant to part ways. Emma couldn't remember the last time she felt so nervous and excited and scared all at the same time.

Killian was also all of those things but for an entirely different reason.

David stood at the front bay window with his arms folded, glaring at the both of them. But, mostly at the Irishman with the killer smolder.

Killian rubbed the back of his ear and cleared his throat. "I'll be sure to leave the keys in the mailbox."

"Thank you, again." she gave him a soft smile before backing away towards her parents house. "Call me." she joked, pulling a smile from him.

"Goodnight, Swan."

"Goodnight, Jones."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ Nope

* * *

"What do you mean?" he slowly growled out. Killian slammed his fist on the kitchen table, spilling coffee from his cup. "That's _not_ good enough! I don't care what it takes, Smee! You do as _I say_ and what _I say_ is to _**find him**_!" he angrily pressed the screen to end the call and squeezed the phone in his hand to keep from slamming the damn thing down. "Fucking gobshite!" he sighed angrily as he rose from the table to fetch some paper towels to clean his mess.

* * *

"I'm thinking of finding my own place." Emma mentioned to Ruby, who looked to her mid-coffee pour at her words.

"Seriously?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, I mean. Why not? I have enough money saved up for a few payments and I don't have to worry about dick face anymore and-" she trailed off.

Ruby smiled wide, "And you want to bang your boyfriend without your mother offering you muffins and refreshments afterward?" she teased.

Emma snorted and rolled her eyes. "He's not my boyfriend." she said quietly. "I'm not sure _what_ we are. We haven't really… _discussed_ it." she bit her lip and blushed.

Ruby cocked her head to the side as she placed the coffee pot back in the maker. "I know that look! You kissed him!" she gasped in surprise while skipping over to her and grabbing her arm. "It's about damn time, Emma! How was it?" she asked slyly.

"It was- a kiss." she shrugged playing it off.

Ruby looked off into the distance before whispering, "I bet it was amazing."

Emma turned to her smiling wide. "It was better than amazing. I didn't know a single kiss could make my toes curl. It was definitely _not_ like _that_ with shit head."

Ruby grinned happily. "Speak of the devil." she bumped her hip into Emma's playfully just as the door signaled another customer. "Morning, Killian!" she giggled and shooed off.

Killian exchanged a wary glance with Emma before taking his usual seat at the counter. He was dressed in dark wash jeans and a tight white sweater with two tan unbuttoned buttons at the top. His chest hair was peeking through making her fingers twitch. It was ridiculous how much a kiss changed her perceptions of this man. Everything about him drove her wild with anticipation. Grant it, she would never let _him_ know that.

"Good morning." she greeted with a smile. "Hungry?"

To be perfectly honest, the type of morning that he had took any sort of appetite away. He simply shook his head and turned over the cup in front of him. "Just coffee today." he rubbed the spot behind his ear which sent a red flag to Emma.

After filling his cup and replacing the pot, she came back over stretching across the counter into his space. "Everything alright?" she asked softly. He brushed a finger over her bruised knuckles and nodded again. "You're lying." she said flatly, straightening back up. Her stomach started to flip flop thinking that he was regretting ever kissing her. Here she was again, beginning to trust in a man who didn't care. "Look, I didn't mean to intrude on you last night. It was poor judgment on my end and it won't happen again. It'll be a one time thing."

Killian's head snapped up at her words. He reached across the counter and grabbed her wrist, tugging her closer. "I _do not_ regret that. I would relive that moment for a lifetime if I could. The state I'm in has _nothing_ to do with you." _Yet,_ he added in his mind before releasing her and repositioning himself on the stool.

Emma gently rubbed her wrist, (Not that it hurt.

It was more subconscious) with a raised brow. "Then what's wrong?" she asked again.

"It's under control. Don't worry about this, Swan." he nodded once before sipping at his cup.

Her eyes narrowed and her fingers tapped on the counter as she raised a brow. "And _what_ exactly is _under control_?" she mimicked in an irritable manner.

Gently replacing the coffee on the counter, he sat a bit straighter as he placed an arm in front of him. "Try something new, darling. It's called trust." Killian gave a nod to Ruby as she walked by, giggling again. "What's with your friend?" he asked at an attempt to change the topic.

Emma crossed her arms and glared at him, "What's with the _avoidance_?" she spat the words back at him. The words he had spoken to her just a few days prior.

He sighed and rubbed his face. "Look, Swan. Issues have arisen. I'm dealing with them. End of story." he knocked back the rest of his lukewarm coffee before making a move to stand and pulling out his wallet. She raised a brow as he slid a twenty across the counter.

"Are you buying my silence?" she scoffed before sliding it right back to him. "Coffee is on the house, idiot." Emma grabbed the dirty mug before storming away.

Killian scrunched up the twenty and shoved it back into his wallet. _Fuck._ It was a reflex. A stupid goddamned reflex. Whenever anyone would start prying into his work, he'd pay them off. Of course, it would normally be a much larger sum than a crisp twenty dollar bill. Emma wasn't prying per say, but it was enough for the incident to occur.

She was surprised to see him still in the diner, leaning on the counter, when she returned a few minutes later. Rolling her eyes she walked past him, not paying him any attention.

Killian waited patiently, watching as Emma noticeably made herself busy to avoid him. The sound of his phone ringing made his jaw clench and the muscles tick. His hand on the counter formed a fist while the other dug out the phone in his pocket. He closed his eyes at the name on the screen and brought the phone to his ear. "Is he found?" his voice was low. He unclenched his fist to pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Get anyone you have to. Do. Not. Lose. Him." Killian sighed and shook his head, "Just don't allow him to leave!" he spat in a growled whisper before disconnecting the call. He dropped the phone on the counter in annoyance and looked toward Emma who was now rolling silverware in napkins across the diner.

Emma felt his gaze on her. She looked up and rolled her eyes while throwing the spoon and fork into the bin. She marched around the counter to stand in front of him. "What?"

Killian reached over to gently take her fingers in his hand. "Why so angry, love?" he asked softly.

"I don't want your money, Jones. I'm not someone to be bought." she pulled her hand away and went back to work. Killian sighed looking at her one last time, before leaving the diner altogether.

 _Stupid man._

* * *

Emma's double shift was exhausting to say the least, but Archie seemed to have given her a lead on an apartment for rent near the docks. It would be perfect for her. Single bedroom, view overlooking the ocean, privacy. It would be worth the look, anyway. When she pulled into the drive she noticed Killian laying in his front yard, arm under his head, gazing up at the stars. He seemed peaceful and in some type of deep thought.

She stood at the bumper of her car having an inner battle with herself. Should she ignore him and just go inside? Should she go over and join him? What if he didn't want to be bothered? What if he was expecting her? What if he was reliving another memory? The possibilities were endless.

Emma was just about to ascend the front steps of her parents house when she growled in frustration, turned on her heel, and stomped toward Killian. She, unceremoniously, laid down beside him and began glaring at the sky in silence.

And, there they lay.

No one moving.

No one talking.

Just gazing.

And then it hit her. She realized that he and Liam used to spend all day at sea. No doubt they had spent a few nights gazing at the stars. Her features softened at the thought and he must have felt the tension leave because his hand found hers to lace their fingers together. His thumb began to trace circles on the back of her hand. It was a simple gesture, but she didn't miss the shivers it sent through her body.

Someone needed to speak. To say something. Anything. Emma opened her mouth but he squeezed her hand as if to silence her before she even started. Killian turned his head towards her as he brought the back of her hand to his lips, placing featherlight kisses against her skin. His icy blue eyes finally met her bright emerald ones in a longing gaze.

No one spoke.

No one had to.

Emma rolled onto her side, releasing their hands, and nuzzled into his shoulder. Killian wrapped his arm around her before kissing her forehead. She was comfortable. Take away the hard ground, but comfortable nonetheless. She closed her eyes feeling the way their breathing matched up. The way his fingers traced nonsensical patterns on her back where her shirt had risen. The way he smelled... of the sea? He must have gone to the docks after he left the diner. Emma was indeed content and sighed happily.

"Go on a date with me, Swan." his voice was almost a whisper, but it still took her by surprise.

Raising up onto her elbow she looked down at him in confusion. "Seriously?"

"I meant no harm earlier today. I had come in to ask you, but things took an ugly turn before I had the chance. I want to make it up to you." he explained.

"By buying me dinner?" she deadpanned.

Killian let out a frustrated sigh. "Who mentioned anything about purchasing a meal?" she could tell he was growing frustrated with her, but dammit, she was frustrated, too! "All I'm requesting is for a single night with you. Is that too much to ask?"

Emma chewed her lip as she pondered over his words. What was one night? She could deal with this frustrating, arrogant man for a few hours, surely. "Fine." she finally muttered. "One night. And since we're finally speaking-" she rolled backward lifting her backside off the ground to dig in her back pocket, "You left _this_ ," she tossed his phone onto his stomach, "on my counter. I shut it off. Don't worry, I didn't snoop through anything." she added.

Killian raised it up, took one look at it and tossed it to the side before rolling to hover over the top of her. He placed a chaste kiss to her lips before pulling away to study her. Emma's eyes flickered from his to his lips before reaching a hand up to the back of his neck and leading him back down. Their lips met again, his tongue running along the indentation asking for entrance that she gave. Their tongues danced together. Explored together. It felt so right. So, perfect.

His left hand began to travel down her side. Gripping the back of her knee, he raised it up to allow his hand room to travel back up the underside of her thigh and up to cup her plump ass through her jeans. Low sighs of pleasure could be heard coming from Emma when he broke the kiss to nibble at her neck. Her hands tangled in his hair as she moved her head to the side to allow him more access.

A throat clearing made them break apart quickly. Killian immediately rolled off of her, stomach to ground, to hide his noticeable erection as Emma straightened her clothes. "What are you two doing?" David asks, not really wanting a reply.

"Looking at the stars." Emma motioned to the sky licking her kiss swollen lips. Killian dug his teeth into the pads of his thumbs to keep from laughing.

"Must have been some view." he glared at Killian who cleared his throat to speak.

"Aye, bloody fantastic." he raised a brow smiling, causing David's face to turn red. Emma smacked his shoulder and he chuckled biting down on his lower lip.

"In the house. Now." he was speaking to Emma now who shot a look to her father.

She was sitting now, "I'm not a child anymore and I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me as such." she loosely held her knees before continuing. "I've found a place by the docks and I'm going to go check it out in a few days. I'm moving out." she stated simply. It wasn't how she wanted to unveil her decision, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Both Killian and David stared at her in shock. Both not knowing what to say or how to feel for two entirely different reasons.

"Why?" was all that tumbled from David's lips.

Emma stood in front of her father and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm a little old to still be living at home. I found a place and I'm checking it out." she shrugged nonchalantly.

"No, we need to sit down and talk about this." he was trying to reason with her. Why? She didn't know. You'd think he'd want his twenty-four year old daughter out of the house by now.

"There's nothing to talk about! I'm moving!" she turned her back to her father and stretched out a hand to help Killian up. He waved it off giving her a pointed look. _Oh._ "Let me know a time for this date." she muttered before turning and pushing past her father, storming into the house.

David looked down at Killian who was now plucking at the blades of grass avoiding his earnest glare. "Really? Right in the middle of the yard?"

Biting back a laugh, he finally looked to David with hooded eyes. "Like you so kindly put it before Dave… it was _quite_ the view."

David scoffed and walked off.

* * *

Emma stared across the damn kitchen table at her parents and their joined hands. Mary Margaret looked as if she had gone wrong somewhere and David was still seething from Killian's earlier words. She, on the other hand, happily plucked some of the grapes from the vine in front of her and popped them into her mouth.

"Why do you want to leave?" her mother asked for the fifth time. "Did we do something wrong?"

Emma snorted giving a sly glance towards her father before slouching in the chair to explain… again. "I just need my own space. Somewhere to go to not get lectured when I come home a half hour later after a shift. Where I don't need to worry about knocking on the bathroom door so I can shower, or having an overbearing father glare out the window every time I'm near-"

David raised a hand as he slowly shook his head."Don't speak his name." he muttered closing his eyes, shuddering at the memory.

Emma clenched her jaw, "Killian." she pushed away from the table taking the rest of the grapes in her hand and made her way up to her room ignoring the protests from her parents.

She noticed Killian pacing in his room as he spoke to someone on the phone. He seemed angry, almost. What an attitude difference. He seemed so calm just an hour before. Emma had popped the last of her grapes into her mouth and turned to her dresser to grab a hair tie. Nearly choking on the remnants, her eyes widened in confusion and uncertainty. She pulled the all too familiar picture off of her dresser. Staring back at her was the beautiful swan Killian had drawn.

Crawling into bed, picture in hand, she gazed at the swan admiring it's beauty. There was no denying his artistic ability, that's for sure. Each stroke was thought out so carefully. She wondered how it even came to be in her room. Emma placed it against the lamp on her nightstand, still in awe of such beauty, before eventually falling into peaceful slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimers**_ _ **:**_ do I really need to repeat myself?

 _ **A/N**_ _ **:**_ extra long chapter today! Also, if you don't know the words to _Demons_ or _Hollow_ , please, look them up. A perfect fit for these two lovebirds!

 _Demons_ also _may_ be an amazing foreshadowing song :)

* * *

Killian loved the apartment, perhaps even more than she. His favorite part was the view from the balcony in the bedroom. He seemed quite jealous that this particular housing unit wasn't for rent when he had arrived in Storybrooke those few short weeks ago. His arms barricaded Emma in the spot before him while holding onto the railing as they overlooked the sea. The salty breeze was a pleasant feel on this warmer spring day. A few boats could be seen a way out from the docks. She secretly wondered if he missed being out at sea. Missed being free without a care in the world. Or if it reminded him too much of what he's lost.

Killian kissed her shoulder and nudged her head to the side, placing a kiss to her neck. "Will you be signing?" he asked against her skin.

Emma grinned before nodding. "I think so. Everything seems to be perfect. Even the pricing. I think I may have found my new beginning." she turned in his arms to place a gentle kiss to his lips.

They still haven't discussed in detail of what they were, but it didn't seem to bother either of them. Enjoying each other's company and stealing kisses was the jist of the relationship. _If_ this was a relationship. There wasn't much rush and Emma enjoyed it that way. It seems as though Killian would follow her lead on the matter and not try to push her into doing anything she wasn't ready for.

After signing the lease, her and Killian strolled down to the docks, taking a seat at one of the benches. The sounds of seagulls squawking, sails whipping in the wind and waves crashing against the old wood filled the atmosphere.

Curiosity got the best of her which is why she asked, "Do you miss it? This?" she motioned to the scene in front of them.

He sighed and nodded slowly. "Aye, that I do. I miss everything about it." he admitted quietly. She knew what that meant. He had confirmed her suspicion. He missed not only being out at sea, but also the time he spent with his brother.

"When was the last time you sailed?" she asked curiously.

He leaned his head to the side in thought before answering, "A month before moving here. I needed to clear my head, get my thinking straight. I was in a horrible predicament at the time and wanted to leave it all behind. My brother had given me a revelation and I took it."

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "A revelation? Like, a message?" she could see him nodding from her peripheral. "Your brother sends you signs from the dead?" she didn't mean for it come off harsh, and she definitely didn't mean to laugh, but it sounded so ridiculous!

Killian immediately stood from the bench and began making his way up the docks to his custom colored crimson red 2015 Acura NSX that he finally had shipped over to the states. How he paid for any of that was beyond her and she wasn't about to bombard him with questions about his financials.

"Shit." she hopped up and ran to catch up with him. "I didn't mean to laugh." she called out. Killian popped the collar of his jacket and continued walking. "Will you stop?" As if by magic he stopped right in his tracks, and she made her way in front of him. She saw the anger and pain he was feeling written all over his face. Hell, she didn't blame him. She had practically mocked his whole story that she asked him to tell. "I'm sorry."

He looked through her as if she wasn't even there. "I'm not going to stick around to be your source of amusement. If you don't want to believe me, fine. But don't ask me to inform you of something just for you to laugh in my face like I'm some kind of joke!" he was yelling now, making her flinch. "If you decide to change your opinion of me, then meet me at my house at six. If you want to treat me as if I'm a laughing stock then don't bother showing up." Without so much as a glance at her, he pulled his keys from his coat and stalked off towards his manly sports car.

Emma stood there, still staring at the spot where he was just standing, bewildered. Killian had simultaneously scolded her _and_ given her the time for their date. Of all the nights he could have chosen, he chose the night that she signed her lease. He wanted to celebrate with her and she was totally inconsiderate. She asked him a very personal question and laughed in his face. But, oddly enough, he still gave her a choice.

* * *

By the time 5:30 rolled around she was fixing her hair and makeup, and was still deciding on what to wear. Her room was a total disaster, but she just figured it would be easier to pack into boxes that way. Pick it up, throw it in a box. It'll work.

Eventually, she settled on her usual casual attire sans leather jacket. A white, flowy, sleeveless top paired with black leggings and silver flats she ended up finding in the back of her closet.

She nearly ran into her father when she rounded the corner from the stairs. Emma skidded to a stop while David looked as if he were searching for something to say. Mouths opened and closed before deciding just to nod in acknowledgement. Ever since Emma had come home earlier that day and her parents learned that she had signed her lease, neither one of them seemed to know what to do or say. Mary Margaret was keeping busy will volunteer work and David kept quiet for the most part. She wasn't sure why they were taking it so hard. It wasn't like she was leaving the state, hell, she wasn't even leaving town! She would be about 20 minutes, _walking distance_ , from their house.

Emma found herself quite nervous, to say the least. She busied herself with chewing her lip while she strummed up the courage to knock on Killian's door. It was really quite pathetic. Why was she so nervous? Was it the fact that this evening was technically a 'date', or, was it the fact that when she had seen him last she had no regards for his feelings?

She jumped from her thoughts when she noticed the door opening. Killian was dressed in a pair of his lighter colored jeans and instead of his black button ups and leather jacket, he opted for a blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up near the elbows. His eyes were even bluer, if at all possible, against the shade of blue from his shirt. She found herself licking her lips and he smiled warmly.

"Going to stand out there all night, love?" Emma cleared her throat and slid inside. This was getting ridiculous, her nerves needed to calm down. _Way_ down. "What is it you have there?" he asked, nudging his chin in the direction of the paper in her hand whilst closing the door.

"Wha- Oh!" she had nearly forgotten the drawing in her hand. She had brought it over to return it, feeling that it was in her room by some mistake. "Um, _this_ was in my bedroom the other night and I'm not really sure how it got there, so…." Emma handed the drawing back to its rightful owner as he stared at it, smirking. "What?" she asked confused and maybe a tad too bitter.

"It was a gift." he stated evenly. "You loved it so much I had given it to your mother when you were at work the other night and I suppose she had forgotten to mention it to you."

"Oh." she felt stupid now. She scratched the side of her nose feeling awkward for returning a gift she didn't even _know_ was a gift.

He made his way over to the couch, placing the drawing down before stretching a hand in Emma's general direction. She closed the small space before sliding her hand into his, smiling as he pulled her close. Their noses brushed together before their lips touched in a sweet and meaningful gesture.

"I'm sorry." Emma whispered. Killian's hands cupped her face before placing another kiss to her lips. "I guess you forgive me?" she asked with a soft smile. He chuckled lightly before kissing her glossy lips once more. Emma wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him. Killian's head tucked into her shoulder. as he held her close.

"I have a surprise for you." he could barely contain his excitement after he finally pulled away from her. "But, I need you to _fully_ trust me." he added seriously.

Whatever it was he had planned for this evening was beginning to make her nervous. What type of surprise needed full trust? Her eyes narrowed before giving a confused nod. Killian sighed in relief and held up a finger before leaving the room.

On his way back in, he had two wool peacoats; one black, one camel. Okay, now she was _really_ confused. It was a nice night, no need for such thick outer layers and how the _hell_ did he get her size? It was quite obvious from the look of the camel colored coat that it was meant for her. He had purchased a new coat for her? Was _that_ the surprise?

"Thanks, but I have quite the collection of jackets already… I don't really-"

"You'll need this one. _Trust_ me." he raised his brows and gave a sideways glance in her direction as he grabbed the keys to his car.

"Oh, right. The full trust thing. Got it." She muttered to herself. "Where are we going?" she asked as she stepped through the front door, Killian following close behind.

"If I tell you, it defeats the purpose of it being a _surprise._ " he teased. "You won't be disappointed, love. I promise."

* * *

"This isn't very original, Jones!" she called out to him as they made their way down to the docks. Killian was up a ways seeming oddly eager to do something they've done a dozen times before.

He scoffed and chuckled as he turned around to face her, walking backwards. "I'm getting the feeling that you're _still_ not _trusting_ me, Swan."

With a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head she raised her arms up in surrender. "Alright! Alright! I trust you, but just for tonight." she added with narrowed eyes. Killian smiled broadly and turned back around.

"One night is all I'll need, love." she heard him say.

Emma's eyes widened when she watched Killian step aboard one of the docked boats. _Of course!_ Why didn't she think of it before?

Sailing.

They would be sailing for their very first date.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?" she teased.

"Permission granted." Killian took the coats from Emma before helping her up on deck. She's never stepped foot on a boat in her life, so she had no choice _but_ to trust him tonight. There was a suspicion that he had made it that way on purpose. To give her no choice but to relinquish her control and put her faith into him.

Emma watched as he readied the boat for their voyage out to sea. It seemed like second nature to him. The way he moved around to untie this and tie up that. She didn't know _anything_ about boats, but she enjoyed watching him and listened as he explained what he was doing and why he was was doing it.

Eventually, they were on their way. He took his place at the helm to adjust their direction before calling her over.

As Emma came to stand beside him, a smirk raised from his lips and he straightened. "Let me tell you how it works on my ship. I make the demands. You follow them."

She raised a brow and her hand in mock salute. "Aye, aye Captain." his tongue ran across his lower lip trying to fight the smile. Her head tilted when she realized something. "You rented this boat a few days ago, didn't you?"

When he raised a brow she knew she was right. "Aye." he nodded. "How did you know that?" he asked curiously.

"You smelled of the sea." she stated softly. He reached over to take her hand, pulling her in front of him. "I don't know what I'm doing." she whispered when he put her hands on the knobs of the wheel.

"Don't worry, love. I've got you." he whispered in her ear. "We're going to turn the wheel three notches to the left, or port." It must have been her nerves that made her mistaken her right for her left, but Killian was right there to fix her mistake. "Your other left." he chuckled.

Emma pointed towards the right side of the boat. "So, if left is 'port' then what's the right?" she asked.

"Starboard."

"Why not just left and right?" she muttered.

Killian smiled against her shoulder. "Long ago when ships docked in port, they would use their left side to keep the stearboard on the right aft, or back, of the vessel safe and eventually the names just stuck."

"What's a stearboard?" she asked.

"Before rudders, there was essentially a big oar on the stern of the ship to steer and an oarsman would be in charge. There were many more right handed sailors than left, which is why it was located on the Starboard side." he explained smoothly.

"Okay, so… what's a rudder?" she asked shyly. Killian chuckled again as he kissed her neck.

"It's a piece of wood near the stern of the boat that helps with steering."

"Oh." Emma shook her head. "I hope there's not a quiz later on." she mumbled.

Killian adjusted the wheel with a small smile before squeezing her hip. "If it were up to Liam, there would be."

Emma quieted at the mention of his name, but Killian didn't seem too sad about it. He was still smiling, still carefree. The openness of the sea seemed to bring light to his eyes. He seemed at home, almost.

Killian adjusted the wheel one last time before leaving the helm altogether. Emma's eyes widened when he left her stranded. "Uh, Killian?" her hands were frozen in front of the wheel.

"You'll be fine, Swan. Embrace it! Don't be afraid. Get a feel for the vessel." he smiled up at her. "But, try not to detour to Davey Jones Locker before I come back." And with that, he was gone.

"Yeah! Thanks!" she called out sarcastically. "Okay." her hands were shaking and her chest was hurting from the anxiety. "It can't be that hard, right?" A loud crack came from behind her and she spun around. "That wasn't me!" she called out to the empty deck. She laughed nervously before turning back around to place her hands on the wheel. "How the hell do I know when to turn?" she muttered to herself. She felt pressure, almost like a hand, on her left one. Her eyes widened as she watched the wheel move a few notches and just as quickly as the pressure came, it was gone.

Emma nearly jumped out of her skin when music started playing over the hidden speakers on deck. "Shit!" she screamed out, clutching her chest. _Get a grip, Emma._ She thought to herself.

Killian reappeared on deck with a bottle of wine and two glasses in one hand, a blanket tucked under his arm and a platter filled with a variety of fruits, cheeses, crackers and nuts. "Ah! I see you managed to keep us afloat!" he teased. "I'll make a sailor of you, yet." his smile was blinding.

"Ha. Ha." she rolled her eyes with a sly grin. She watched as he laid out the blanket in the middle of the lower deck and situated the platter. "Need any help?" she asked.

Killian uncorked the bottle of wine and proceeded in filling both glasses liberally. "I can handle filling some glasses, Swan." He came up to the upper deck, handing her her glass of wine, but only before stealing a kiss. He looked to the sky and adjusted the wheel.

Emma took a sip of her wine which tasted slightly of peaches, "What are you looking at?"

Killian pointed towards the sun, "The sun is setting due west. I adjusted our position to sail northeast."

She honestly didn't realize everything that went into sailing. The constant need of awareness of your surroundings. The positioning of the boat. She wondered how difficult it would be with a whole crew up on deck. It was much more complicated than she ever imagined it would be. Killian was right. One night is all he would need for her to fully trust in him. Emma smiled and bit her lip.

Killian's thumb came up to touch the side of her mouth and traced the underside of her lower lip. " _There's_ that smile." He whispered before taking another chaste kiss from her.

* * *

The boat rocked gently with the waves as they picked away at the platter. They had finished two bottles of wine and had started another by the time the sun had set. The atmosphere on the boat had taken a light and playful turn as the playlist filling the air around them became more upbeat.

' _Come On Eileen'_ by _Dexys Midnight Runners_ came over the speakers and Killian's eyes lit up. He immediately jumped to his feet and beckoned for her to join him. Emma shook her head 'no' and put her lips to the glass watching as he started to sing along and dance to the beat. After a verse he began to change the words to fit the current situation as he, again, beckoned her to join him. Emma laughed and scrambled to her feet to join in on the impromptu kickline he started. She eventually began to sing along with him, and soon they were both drunkenly and dramatically belting out the rest of the lyrics together.

They laughed and fell into each other when the song was complete before the next came on. ' _Demons'_ by _Imagine Dragons_. Somehow, they ended up in a closed position, slow dancing as he sang quietly to her. The lyrics mixed with his velvety voice sent shivers straight down her spine. She always loved the song, but somehow she loved it even more now.

The song after that was ' _Hollow'_ by _Tori Kelly_ which meant it was finally _Emma's_ turn to sing to _him._ The words were completely filled with things she couldn't ever bring herself to say out loud.

She had to admit this was, by far, the _best_ date she has _ever_ been on. The way Killian was fully himself and totally carefree was a nice pace to see. Out here at sea there are no worries. You could come and forget about the hardships of life for a few hours. Emma was beginning to understand why he was so in love with it. Both of their walls, while not totally down, were visibly shaken. There were holes and cracks in the foundations. She wasn't sure how long the walls would be able to stay up at this point.

* * *

They mirrored the position from the other night, lying on their backs gazing up at the stars. Emma's head lay on his strong shoulder through the coats they had put on earlier as the breeze was chillier on water. Being away from the town lights, the stars were brighter than she had ever seen them and there were _thousands_. The moon shone just as bright softly illuminating the deck around them. It was quite the sight to behold.

Killian's thumb was absent-mindedly rubbing the side of Emma's wrist. His hand rested over the top of hers while their fingers loosely danced together. This was probably one of the best nights he has had out at sea in a _very_ long time. If only his brother were here to see him now. To see what he's become, the gentleman he's evolved into upon leaving his home. Something Liam tried to drill into his head since he was young lad.

As if she could read his thoughts she asked, "Will you tell me about him?" Emma's request was just above a whisper. "You don't have to if you don't want to." she added quickly.

He breathed in deeply as memories began to flood his mind. _Where should I even begin?_ "What do you want to know?" he asked just as quietly.

"Anything you're willing to share." Emma rolled onto her stomach to look down at his features. He seemed lost in thought and she hoped she didn't push a boundary, but his eyes seemed clear and a small smile formed on his face.

"My brother was quite the character. At times I thought that he was only there just to embarrass me. He made my life a living hell, but I wouldn't have traded him for the world." His eyes looked to hers at that moment. "Liam always made sure to let everyone know that I was his _little_ brother, no matter how old I got, I was still _little_ to him. He was always reliable when it came to the embarrassing stories, especially when I found myself with a nice looking lass." He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist, "Oi! The stories he would tell _you._ " he chuckled lightly before looking back to the stars.

Emma grinned while plucking some lint from the shoulder of his jacket. "He seems nice."

"Aye, he was." his eyes were beginning to turn sad, but he quickly blinked that feeling away.

"How did you guys stumble upon sailing?" she asked.

A sound came from the back of his throat as he sighed. "The man who took us in… erm, he was into sailing and took Liam out with him. My brother was always fascinated with boats and ships and the sea. I suppose over time his excitement rubbed off on me. The man thought of Liam as the son he never had. I suppose that was because Liam shared many of the same interests with him and I kept to myself most of the time. I was quite a shy lad back then, believe it or not." He smiled at the look Emma shot at him before continuing. "Eventually, the man became too old to do much of anything on the boat and had gifted it to Liam. After that, my brother would take me out as often as possible teaching me everything he had learned. I treasure those times with him. Where we could be ourselves. Be free and open without judgment from the world. We weren't orphans. We weren't unwanted. We were just… us. The Jones' brothers."

Emma felt conflicted with his story. It was filled with happiness and sadness and she wasn't quite sure what was the right way to feel. Her thoughts came to a halt when Killian started laughing to himself.

"There was this one time," he began, a wide smile on his face, "We had gone out on a whim and I happened to find an expensive unopened bottle of rum below deck. Liam always thought it bad form to drink and sail, but it didn't take much convincing that day. He had opened the bloody bottle himself. We had shared nearly the whole bottle and we were completely and utterly useless and I was in charge of navigation that day." he started to laugh again, shaking his head and bit his lower lip. "The bloody bastard allowed me to sail us _straight_ to the United Kingdom. Bloody confused I was when we got to port. Liam had a field day with it of course. I had misjudged our position tenfold and he never let me forget it."

Emma was laughing right along with him. "Are you serious?"

"I wish I wasn't." he laughed. "That tale is probably my favorite memory." his laughter fell quiet as his eyes saddened again, face falling. "That was the day we taken that picture. It was two weeks before-" he trailed off and began gazing at the stars again.

 _Oh no. No, no, no._

She'd be damned if this night took a bad turn. Just like that, an idea popped into her head. "I think your brother is here with us." His eyes met hers again as he adjusted his head in his arm, silently questioning her. "I was freaking the hell out when you left me at the the wheel earlier and, don't think I'm crazy, but, I thought I felt a hand help me guide the wheel."

The corners of his eyes wrinkled as a smile spread across his face. "That would be him." he confirmed. "He's always with me when I sail. I told you, he _never_ let's me forget that day."

She smiled warmly and moved to lay on his shoulder again. "Thank you for this. All of this. It was one of the best nights I've had." Emma felt his lips kiss the top of her head.

"Anything for you, Emma." he whispered softly.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ I. Own. Nothing.

 _ **A/N**_ _ **:**_ we earn that M rating in this chapter ;)

(Also, for those of you who didn't realize my double update for Valentine's Day, I _DID_ upload 8 _AND_ 9\. seems that some of you missed that.)

* * *

Emma wasn't sure at what point she had fallen asleep. She also wasn't sure when they had reached the shore again. And she was _completely uncertain_ as to how she ended up in Killian's room, in Killian's bed, minus Killian.

She sat up quickly to gather her bearings. She was still fully clothed, so nothing had happened in _that_ sense. The bed was still made up on the other side so she came to the conclusion that he had slept elsewhere. Sadness slowly crept up at the thought of him not sleeping next to her, but that quickly left when she got to her feet. The warm breeze was blowing in through the window when she passed by it. Birds were happily chirping, and a thought occurred to her.

What time was it?

Emma noticed her belongings along with the gifted swan placed neatly at the foot of the bed, her phone placed at the top of the pile. Crossing the room to retrieve it, she pressed the lower button and saw 10:27 shining back at her. "Oh, fuck!"

Scooping up her belongings and sliding on her shoes, she booked it down the stairs and stopped short seeing a shirtless and still sleeping Killian Jones on the couch. His arm was draped over his face to keep the light away and soft snores were filling the room. It didn't occur to her until now that he had to have been up all night to bring them back to Storybrooke. Being as quiet as she could, she began to tiptoe through the living room only to stop at the backside of the couch to admire the view with a bitten lip.

It was the first time she actually noticed how chiseled his stomach really was. _I could wash my laundry on this man,_ she thought. His chest hair covered his pecks and a small line trailed down from his belly button and under his pajama bottoms. There were a few scars littering his torso and markings visible and she silently wondered where they had come from. His stomach softly rose and fell as he continued to dream.

Emma was conflicted. She felt an unbearable urge to run her fingers over the exposed skin. To lay next to him and not move from that spot all day. But, she was ridiculously late for work and she couldn't afford to waste any more time. She began tiptoeing again before slowly and carefully opening the front door.

"Have a lovely day at work, Swan." Killian spoke softly nearly startling her. His blue eyes peeked out from under his elbow and a smug grin was plastered on his face.

Emma felt the blush overcome her cheeks as she nodded awkwardly in response. "Uh, yeah. you later." Feeling unbelievably uncomfortable she quickly slid through the door, softly shutting it behind her.

 _The smug bastard._

* * *

After apologizing profusely to Ruby and Granny she fell into her usual routine of waitressing. Every so often she found herself missing Killian, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside. There was no way she would allow herself that feeling. It was just stupid.

"I signed my lease yesterday and I'm free to move in whenever." she mentioned to Ruby as they passed each other in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Oh, that's great! How was it?" she asked curiously now following Emma as she scraped some plates into the trash.

"It's actually pretty spectacular. The view is beyond amazing. Killian is super jealous." she shrugged. "It's just, I'm not sure when I'll be able to actually _live_ there. I'm pretty swamped the rest of the week and have absolutely _no_ time to pack anything."

"I'll talk to Belle. I'm sure she can talk Will into helping now that they're a _thing_ now." she giggled before she crossed her arms. "So… how's _this_ couple doing?" she asked giving Emma a pointed look.

"Not a couple." she deadpanned before leaving the kitchen, Ruby trailing behind her. "We're just hanging out."

"Kissing, cuddling, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. Right, I forgot, that's not what couples do."

"We're not a couple!" Emma repeated. "We're just Killian and Emma. Two separate people who like to hang out."

"While kissing and cuddling and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears." she repeated with a giggle.

Emma groaned rolling her eyes as she walked away.

 _This shift can't end soon enough._

* * *

"What?" she whispered to herself as she watched her parents, Belle and Will along with Robin and Regina filing out of the house with her belongings, plus some.

Emma slowly climbed out of her yellow bug and was quickly greeted by everyone. "What's going on?" she asked confused. Everyone was filling up their cars with whatever would fit.

"Really? You can't gather what's happening?" Regina snarked. "We all just decided to raid your house and take your things."

Robin placed a hand on Regina's shoulder to quiet her. "We're helping you move." he stated simply.

"Move? Now?"

"It won't take too long with everyone pitching in." Belle added.

"But-" Emma was speechless. She noticed her mother coming forward and before she knew what was happening she was wrapped in a tight embrace. "Umm.."

"Your father and I felt awful about the way we acted towards your decision to move. We sat down and discussed it and we will support you in _whatever choices_ make you happy." she didn't miss the emphasis in her words. "You're our daughter and there comes a time where you have to spread your wings and leave the nest." she lifted her chin proudly.

"And you chose 10:30 at night for me to be brutally pushed from the nest?" she asked dryly.

Her mother smiled warmly. "We're just giving you a little nudge in the right direction." Mary Margaret gave a subtle nod towards Killian's house. Emma looked over to see Killian sitting on his front steps. "Your father banned him from helping." she explained softly before backing away. "Go. We have this under control." she whispered.

There was hesitation in her movements before she finally made her way over to him, taking the free space he left. A comfortable silence fell over them as they watched everyone filing in and out.

"Heard you're banned from the kingdom." she teased softly.

A small smirk formed, "Aye." he rubbed the back of his neck before looking over to her. "Seems that Dave there doesn't see it fitting for me to step foot into a room that was once occupied by his princess."

Emma grinned before nudging him with her knee. "Well, you're welcome over at my castle _whenever_ you want."

His eyes became hooded and dark as a single brow raised. "Don't make promises you're not willing to keep, darling." he warned in a low growl.

She looked away then before muttering, "Who says I'm not willing?"

A slow smile spread across his face as his tongue ran along his lower lip. "Bloody minx."

A few more moments had passed before he looked down at his hands. He had moved to lean back against the stair behind him, elbows propping himself up as he looked to the night sky. "Can I be bold for moment?" he asked.

Emma looked over to him and nodded.

Killian met her gaze and spoke softly. "I missed you."

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat. His eyes were soft and caring and it scared her in a way that made her oddly calm. She looked away quickly, fiddling with the zipper on the sleeve of her blue leather jacket. She fought internally with herself. Knowing that she had those thoughts for most of the day _should_ be enough for her to say it back, but for some reason it wasn't that easy.

Killian reached out for her hand that she willingly gave and had given it it reassuring squeeze. He wasn't looking for anything in return and he wanted her to know that. He gave the back of her hand a light peck before pulling on her arm to have her come closer. Emma nestled into his side wrapping her arms around his waist as he kissed the top of her head.

David called over to her to inform her that they were ready to get going. Emma pulled away slowly as she climbed to her feet. "Are you coming with?"

Killian smiled wide and leaned his head towards his sports vehicle. "I'm driving."

* * *

"Thanks, Robin. I really appreciate this." Emma helped straighten the air mattress that he and Regina were so kind as to let her borrow until she was able to move her bedroom furniture over.

"It's not a problem. Just let me go and find the pump, if you'd excuse me?" he grinned before ducking out of the room.

She could hear everyone chitchatting in the front room and was grateful for the help. Really. She was, but it was a little overwhelming. She had only just signed the lease yesterday, then went on the most spectacular date of her life and after being late to work she had come home to half the town (okay, not _really_ half) moving her out of her parents house. There was no time to process not one damn thing that had happened within the past 24 hours.

Robin returned shaking the pump with a smile. "Found the bugger!" he bent down to put the nozzle in the hole when he noticed her somber state. "Everything alright?" he asked softly.

Emma shrugged as she sat back in her heels. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Doesn't sound very convincing."

"There's nothing to convince." she countered.

They fell quiet as the mattress slowly began to inflate. It was awkward to say the least.

" _Emma! I think we're going to head out!"_ she heard her mother call.

Emma gave a slight nod to Robin before exiting the room. Killian was hanging back in the kitchen talking with Regina, Will and Belle as she passed through the small hallway to the living room. As soon as her mother came into view the tears started. "Oh, Emma!" she choked through sobs. Mary Margaret nearly knocked her backward by the force of the hug. Instead of stiffening as she normally did, Emma let her own tears fall as she returned the tight squeeze. "You better call of if you need _anything._ I'm serious! _Whatever_ you need. _Whenever_ you need it."

Emma let out a strained laugh and nodded. "I promise." Her mother finally pulled away wiping her tear stained cheeks.

"I mean it." she warned as another round of sobs started.

David stepped forward, his mouth in a straight grin. "You'll be alright?" he asked softly. She nodded a reply. "You can call me, whatever the hour. I'll be here." Emma took a deep breath before lunging at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. David held his daughter close, kissing the side of her head before pulling apart.

"I love you guys."

Mary Margaret gave her daughter one last embrace before David had to pry her off. "Sweetheart, it'll be fine. She's right down the road." she heard him explain before he shut the door with an exasperated look. " _It's not like she's stranded in the Enchanted Forest."_ At least that made her laugh.

Emma quickly wiped away the tears as she heard the footsteps of Belle and Will stepping forward. "Good luck with the new place." Will smiled.

"It's gorgeous!" Belle added. "Call if you need any help organizing." They exchanged hugs and soon they were off as well.

Robin and Regina followed shortly after which left a melancholy Killian alone in the kitchen.

"Oh, not you too." she teased as she wiped the last of her tears away. He just shrugged putting his hands in his pockets. "Why so glum?" she asked.

"It's really quite selfish." he muttered as she entered the kitchen to stand next to him.

"What's selfish?"

It took him a moment to answer, obviously debating if he should even mention it. "I won't get to see your beautiful face before I drift off to sleep, or see that sleepy smile in the mornings." he rubbed his neck self-consciously. "Selfish."

That certainly brought a smile to her face. "That's what you're sad about? Because you can't stalk me through your bedroom window anymore?"

He chuckled lightly. "I suppose so."

"I told you, you're welcome here any time, bozo." she bumped her elbow into his with a small smile.

"May I be bold again?" he asked just above a whisper.

Emma turned her body towards him and he did the same. She watched as he took a breath and looked up at her, blue eyes against green. "What is it?" she asked softly. She wasn't sure she's ever seen him so nervous. "Jones?"

"Tonight?"

"You want to stay tonight?" she asked shocked.

Killian cleared his throat and scratched the scruff on his face. "Only if you want me to."

She wasn't sure what snapped in her head that made her agree with his request. It could have been the fact that it was nearly 2 in the morning and she could have easily blamed it on sleep deprivation.

But, it wouldn't have been the truth.

* * *

They rummaged through some of the boxes trying to find where her pillows and bed sheets were packed. Emma sighed and tossed another box full of random kitchenware aside before hearing Killian in the bedroom. "Found them!"

"Thank gods." she muttered as she slowly got to her feet. She was completely exhausted and was in need of a shower to rinse the grime of the work day away. Luckily she had found where her bathroom items were packed and had already put them where needed.

"I'll do this, you go and shower, love. Relax." he shooed her off before she could even step foot into the bedroom.

Emma stood under the hot water allowing her muscles to relax and her mind to wander. Killian would be sleeping here tonight. There were no other options than for him to sleep on the air mattress with her. The _twin_ size mattress. That's extremely close proximity next to a devilishly handsome man with a killer smolder. "Oh man." she muttered under the water. "What did I get myself into?"

She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower only to realize she never unpacked the towels. "Well, this is a predicament." she muttered.

Emma began to brainstorm. She could either walk out naked, nope. That wasn't going to happen. Nope. Next. Um, she could wrap the shower curtain around her? Too much work. She could ask Killian to find them for her, but she already felt guilty about him making up the mattress. Air dry? That'll take forever. Emma then realized she didn't even bring in pajamas. "Well fuck me." She jumped at the knock on the door. "Yes?"

Killian cleared his throat, "Is that a request?" she could just imagine the smoldering look and that stupid eyebrow raised on the other side of the door.

"Did you need something?" she asked trying to mask the smirk on her face.

"I ran across the towels. Did you need one by chance?"

"Yes!" she opened the door a crack and the fluffy grey towel slid through the opening. "Thank you!"

Emma quickly wrapped the towel around her body and opened the door, shivering at at the sudden blast of cold air.

Killian's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open at the sight of a wet and half naked Emma shivering before him. "Swan." his voice was a whisper.

"I forgot my clothes." she pointed in the direction of the bedroom before scurrying away.

He knew he should be the gentleman and look away, but the shadows moving along the wall of the half closed door held his gaze. He could see her silhouette dancing as she pulled on her clothes, her hair falling as she took it out of the bun she had wrapped it in. His cock twitched and that's when he knew he had been staring for far too long. He retreated to the kitchen to gather himself.

Emma opened the door as she straightened the tank top and pair of plaid shorts that barely covered a thing. It wasn't nearly enough cover as she hoped for, but it'll have to do until she could sort through the clutter of clothes. Emma climbed onto the small air mattress and attempted to get comfortable. One thing was for sure, she couldn't wait to have her bed back.

She wasn't sure how long she stared at the ceiling before she hopped back off of the mattress to open the french doors to the balcony. The rush of the ocean air filled her lungs and calmed her nerves. Killian's fingers touched her hip making her spin around. Their faces searched one another as they stood in silence.

"Shall we?" he asked gently.

 _Like there's any other choice._

She nodded before taking her place back on the right side. Emma was adjusting the blankets until she froze in place. Killian was undressing right in front of her. Her heart was pounding and her mouth went dry. The way his muscles flexed when he pulled off his shirt exposing his hairy, chiseled torso made her tingle. She caught herself biting her lip to the way he unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down and letting them fall to the floor.

Oh man, she was aching.

Killian rubbed his neck and scratched behind his ear before slowly climbing in beside her. He tried his best to keep his distance, but what could he do with the space given? They were awkwardly stiff and both staring at the ceiling while their arms were uncomfortably pressed against each other.

Silence.

Long. Deafening. Silence.

 _This is fucking stupid._

Emma rolled onto her left side, placing a hand on Killian's cheek to turn his head to look at her. His brows furrowed in confusion. Her eyes were searching his before he followed her lead, placing a rough hand against her soft cheek and felt her lean into his touch. His thumb gently ran across her lips as her hand traveled to the crick of his neck.

Neither one of them made the move they both were wanting. Was it the right time?

Was it _ever_ the right time?

Killian stayed put, wanting Emma to decide where they were taking this. He would be accepting of any outcome, though he would prefer the obvious choice. Swallowing hard, he moved his hand to run through her golden tresses, down the pale skin of her arm and finally settling at her hip.

Every small touch sent shivers down her spine. She could already feel the wetness pooling, but should she be taking this big of a leap? They only ever had the one date.

And that was _yesterday!_

But, they've been stealing kisses and secret moments for a couple of weeks now.

Her body was aching for more. She wanted him.

 _Badly…._

A moment later their lips crashed together in a heated kiss. Tongues and teeth made up the hungry action. Emma moved to straddle his waist, careful to not break the kiss she's been longing for.

Killian's hands gripped at her smooth, bare thighs making Emma moan softly before traveling up and under her shorts to cup her bare ass. He pulled away with a raised brow. "Shut up. I couldn't find my underwear."

"You don't see me complaining." Killian chuckled before pressing his lips back to hers.

Emma's fingers _finally_ ran through the hair on his chest feeling the soft strands fold underneath her touch. She sat up in his lap, fingers trailing down to memorize every indentation his abs formed. Along the scars and markings that littered his body.

Killian lay still letting her explore, fingers tightening under her thighs. He stared up at her with raw passion in his eyes and unsteady breaths passing his lips. Every touch, every caress made him hungry for more. He wanted nothing more than to return the same attention. He prided himself a patient man, but he didn't know how long he would be able to subside his primal instincts. Not knowing how far this was going to pan out was another thing driving him mad. His jaw clenched and his eyes fell shut feeling her slow and gentle touch around the waistband of his boxers.

Emma gripped Killian's hips blinking up at him. How far was he willing to go? Was _she_ willing to go? She could easily unmount him and lay down like nothing ever happened. But that would be another lie to herself. She knows what he feels like under her in _every_ sense. His arousal was pretty eminent as it pressed against her own through the thin fabric of her shorts.

"Emma?" she blinked back into the now and realized she had been staring off. "We don't have to do anything, love." his voice was soft, reassuring, and dammit it was completely irresistible the way he cared so much about her. "Emma?" he squeezed her thighs bringing her out of her thoughts again. "Are y-"

"Touch me." she whispered.

Killian looked absolutely bewildered. "What?"

"Touch me."

"Are you absolutely positive?"

"Killian!"

That was all it took.

He shot up pushing his hands into her thighs to pull her closer in his lap as their lips crashed together. Killian's tongue began caressing hers while his hands slid up and under the tank, the fabric gathering onto his forearms. Emma broke from his kiss to raise her arms, allowing Killian to discard the fabric from her torso. His eyes immediately went the milky skin of her breasts in front of his face before enveloping a taught nipple into his mouth.

Emma moaned, carding her fingers through his hair, as her back arched at the feeling of his warm mouth against her chilled skin. She tugged at his hair forcing him to unlatch, his teeth gently pulling the nipple along before returning her eager lips to his.

Killian guided her backward between his legs, laying her gently at the foot of the mattress and moving to hover over her in one fluid motion. He trailed wet kisses down her neck stopping to nip and lick at the soft skin above her collarbone. Emma moaned and hissed in response, arching her back into him, the hair on his chest tickling her nipples. His tongue left a wet trail behind as he ran it along her collarbone and down her sternum, pausing to give the inside of each breast a wet kiss.

Emma's breathing was heavy as she watched Killian's head move lower and lower and "Oh!" she yelped and bucked her hips in surprise when he nipped at her inner thigh.

"You're stunning, Emma." he whispered against her hip bone before placing a chaste kiss upon it. "Absolutely gorgeous." he kissed her belly button before gazing up at her with those hooded eyes. "Tell me, love. How far?" he breathed against her skin. Emma raised her hips from the bed in response to his question. "Positive?" he asked, his fingers trailing down her sides and stilling at the waistband of her shorts.

"Yes." she breathed out.

Killian tugged on the fabric, moving to discard them completely before nestling between her legs. He could already see her arousal dripping from want and the smell was utterly enticing. His arms slid around her hips to place his hands flat against her belly ready to anchor her if need be. His darkened eyes gazed up at her before placing a teasing kiss against her smooth lips.

Emma's eyes fell shut at the touch as a breath escaped her lips. She bucked her hips at the first feel of his tongue running across her swollen nub. "Fuck." she breathed. Emma gasped, tangling her fingers into his hair as his tongue began to flick and flutter against her clit. "Oh gods." she moaned out, tightening her grip on his hair making him growl in response.

His tongue began flicking faster making her squirm and squeeze her thighs around his head. Killian pressed her hips and thighs down firmly when she began to buck and pull away. His right arm unraveled itself from her, bringing his hand around to run his fingers through her soaking slit. He pushed one finger in smiling from the moaned response before adding another. Killian looked up at the contorted features of her face as he rhythmically pumped his fingers in and out. He added a few flicks of his tongue to finally send Emma over the edge screaming and writhing in pleasure. His fingers slowed as he helped her body come down from the high.

Killian placed a kiss above her sex before taking his fingers in his mouth, tasting Emma's delicious juices. "So good." he muttered. Emma welcomed his lips to hers tasting the saltiness of her own orgasm on his tongue. He pulled away pressing his forehead to hers. "Do you want me, Emma?" he asked softly.

 _Yes you idiot!_

Her hands grabbed his face to bring him into another kiss as she rubbed herself against his thick hardness. Killian let out a strangled moan against her lips as she reached down between them to push his boxers away from his hips, allowing his cock to finally spring free. "I want you, Killian." she whispered breathlessly.

He quickly kicked his boxers off and to the side before moving Emma up towards the edge of the mattress. He would need to use the hardwood floor as an anchor as an air mattress doesn't offer much in that area. His hands trailed up her legs and down her thighs, over her damp slit and up her belly before claiming her breasts in each hand earning soft moans from his caresses.

Killian's tip ran up and down, teasing her between the folds before readying himself at her entrance. Their eyes met and Emma gave him a subtle nod before gasping at the feel of his cock filling her completely.

"Oh, fuck!" she screamed out, grasping at the fabric of the comforter.

Killian placed his left hand above her head on the cool floor, the other helped hold her hips away from the mattress, before rocking his back and forth. He was slow at first, getting used to the sensation of Emma around him. She felt amazing. Gods, did she feel perfect. Sharp breaths came from his lips mixed with soft moans. "So wet, love. So tight." he whispered before picking up his pace.

It seemed as if the moans wouldn't stop leaving her mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezing him with her thighs. "Don't stop. Oh gods, Killian. Don't stop!" she whimpered.

That only prompted him to go faster. Harder. The sounds of pleasure and skin snapping together filled the room. "Fuck, Emma!" his jaw clenched, his fingers dug into her skin and his eyes screwed shut at the feel of her tightening around him. They both vocally made it known of their releases before Killian's left arm gave out from his weight.

The room was silent aside from their heavy pants. Neither one of them made any effort to move. Killian's hair was filled with sweat and Emma's body was glistening with her own. He kissed her shoulder and sighed happily.

Emma brushed the sweaty strands of hair from his face with an exhausted smile. "That was incredible."

Killian smiled sleepily. "Bloody fantastic." he agreed. He groaned and rolled off of the mattress leaving white trails along Emma's thigh as he did so. He reached over to the wet towel Emma had left lying in the middle of the floor and began to clean them up.

They had settled underneath the blankets, still completely nude since neither one of them had enough energy to reclothe themselves. Killian was lying against her back with his arms holding her close, nose buried in her hair. His snores began almost immediately after entering that position.

Emma was completely spent, but she couldn't shake the fact that what they had done sent her into the uncharted territory she's been successfully avoiding. Territory that required labels and feelings and things she didn't want admit to herself just yet.

Killian grumbled something in his sleep which brought her attention to him. It wasn't just her that made the leap into this grey area.

It was the both of them.

And for once, she wasn't _completely_ scared of what the future held. As long as Killian was there, everything would be alright.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ Notta

* * *

It was cold.

Very, very cold.

Emma groaned and blindly reached for the comforter. Her elbow came into immediate contact with something hard, a grunt of pain following. Her eyes shot open to see Killian holding his cheek with his eyes screwed shut. It only took a moment to piece together that she had hit him in the face while searching for the blankets.

She sat up biting down on her lip to keep from laughing. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry!" It failed. The giggles started as she moved the hand from his face to see the damage.

"You've quite the wake up call, love." he grumbled with a sleepy chuckle.

"Are you okay?" her fingers trailed over the red mark as he rolled his jaw around to reroute the pain.

He looked up at her as his damn smolder slowly appeared. "I think I need a kiss to make it all better." he fluttered his eyelashes for emphasis of his desire.

"Yeah." she deadpanned, patting his chest as she pushed away from him. "You're fine." Emma squealed when his arms claimed her waist, pulling her back into him.

His head buried into the side of her neck, biting softly. "I'm quite crippled, Swan." he whimpered against her skin.

She laughed, trying to pull away. "Crippled my ass!"

"I can see the light!" Killian yelled out. "Swan, are you there?" Emma smacked his chest, giggling. "I'm fading!" he released her long enough to dramatically spread his arms across the mattress, closing his eyes.

She rolled her own before leaning over and kissing his cheek. Killian smirked, gazing up at her beauty through his lashes. His left hand came to his face to allow his pointer finger to quickly tap his lips before returning his hand back to its previous position and re closing his eyes.

Emma snorted and shook her head. "You big baby." she placed a chaste kiss to his lips before resting her chin on his shoulder.

"That was a close one."

"You're an idiot."

"Aye, but I'm _your_ idiot." he smirked.

And just like that, they began to explore the uncharted area. At least they could map out one part. Label one: Killian was indeed _her_ idiot.

"I suppose you are." she agreed softly.

Killian and Emma spent a good half hour wrapped around each other. They were a naked mess of tangled limbs. They embraced the far off sounds of the seagulls squawking through the open doors and the smell of the salty air.

His middle and ring fingers traced up and down her spine while they enjoyed the calm. They stopped abruptly at the sound of his phone ringing on the other side of the room. He sighed heavily before tearing himself away and grabbing up his boxers.

He yanked the phone from his jeans and turned to face Emma. "Apologies. I'll just be a moment." he stepped out onto the balcony closing the french doors behind him.

Emma sat up to run her fingers through the knotted mess of blonde hair before stealing his shirt and her plaid shorts. She sighed at the image before her.

Boxes. Fucking. _Everywhere._

She had absolutely no idea where anything was being that she had packed not one damn thing herself. Emma walked over to one of the boxes in the corner and half heartedly looked through it. If there was one thing she hated more than packing… it was the _unpacking_. She tossed the box aside and kicked another. This was not going to happen today. Maybe not even tomorrow. She could live out of boxes, right?

" _ **You bloody fucking moron! One fucking task! I gave you one bloody task!"**_

Emma froze. Whoever was on the other end of that call, she felt sorry for. She felt that she should leave. Give him the privacy of tearing whoever it was a new one, but dammit, it was _her_ apartment. _He_ should have chosen a better place to have such a heated conversation. Besides, it was just getting good. She shuffled closer to the door to pretend as if she's going through one of the boxes, craning her neck for a better listen.

 _Oh! My underwear!_

" _ **I swear to gods, Smee! I'll wring your fucking neck meself!"**_

 _Smee?_ She snorted to herself. _He really takes this Peter Pan crap seriously._

" _ **Get on the next plane! Now! Can I trust you to use the right account you gobshite?! Or have you lost that information, too?!"**_

Emma quickly busied herself with the uninteresting box when Killian yanked the door open. His jaw was clenched and his face was hard, but she pretended not to notice. "Everything alright?" she asked innocently.

He shot her an annoyed look with his lips in a thin line and eyes narrowed. "Just perfect." he spat as he reached for his jeans and tugged them on. "I'm sorry, love. I must must be off."

"So soon?" she was irritated. They shared a lovely night together and here he was, scurrying off.

"Not by choice."

"Right." she rolled her eyes. "See you later, then" she muttered.

Killian moved in front her placing a finger underneath her chin and felt her jaw tense. "It seems I've found meself in a bit of a bind." his tone was low and playful now. "My shirt, you see it's… it's come up missing."

Her eyes finally met his. "That is quite the dilemma. Any idea where it might be?"

"Ah, that's the problem." he placed a finger to his chin in exaggerated thought. "I was with this amazingly beautiful lass last night and I believe she may have stolen it. Any ideas on how I could get it back?" his eyebrows waggled teasingly.

She crossed her arms with a smirk. "That's the price one pays when leaving clothes where they don't belong. If she's as amazing as you say, maybe she could be… _persuaded_."

He cocked his head to side as he closed the small space between them. "Care to give me some pointers on how to do tha _t_?" he over pronounces the 't' with hooded eyes and lips dangerously close to hers.

"I suppose I could share a few." she breathed.

Lips molded together and tongues danced as one while soft moans filled the room. Killian's firm hands traveled down to the back of her thighs, gripping them firmly as he lifted her off of the floor. He took a few small steps forward to press her against the wall.

Emma wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as her fingers tangled into his messy hair. Her head fell back into the wall with a small _thud_ as his lips trailed down her neck. "Oh gods…." she breathed

Killian nipped and sucked at the soft spot below her ear leaving a mark upon her pale skin. "Take it off." he ordered against her jawline. Emma quickly battled with the shirt, trying to pull it over her head. He eventually helped in yanking it off before taking her full breast in his right hand and suckling at her hardened nipple.

Her head fell back against the wall again, eyes falling shut. The way his mouth expertly explored her drove her wild. His teeth gently bit at each mound before his mouth was on hers again. She moaned against him. Her back was no longer against the coolness of the wall. They were moving. She didn't know where. Her focus was too entwined in their kiss.

Killian made his way to the kitchen, kicking boxes as he went. He carefully placed her on the island in the center of the room and coaxed her back. His tongue began trailing down her body as his hands kept busy on her breasts. He nipped at her belly and hips, looking up at her with those piercing blue eyes. "These. Off." he straightened up to take his own pants off as she hurriedly discarded her shorts. He took a moment to admire her beauty sprawled out before him.

Emma felt a little self-conscious as he stared at her. Her thighs pressed together to hide what she had exposed, but he pried them back open.

"Don't be ashamed, love. You're bloody gorgeous."

Before she even had the time to blush, his mouth met her soaking cunt. His tongue flicked and fluttered in an intense pace. "Fuck!" she squeaked, trying to buck away.

Killian growled low placing strong hands on her hips to keep her still. He could feel her warm juices flow over his tongue as she screamed out in ecstasy. He took the time to lap all of it up before straightening.

Emma finally opened her eyes, panting hard. His lips were glistening from her orgasm and it made her even more aroused. She licked her lips, he did the same, before sitting up on the counter. Their mouths collided again in a passionate, salty, tangy kiss. His hands were on her hips, slowly guiding them to the end.

"Hold the counter." he whispered against her.

Emma obeyed. Killian held her waist, carefully lowering her hips off and over the edge. She readjusted her arms, laying them flat against the surface. Her hands gripped the lip of the counter while wrapping her legs around his torso. Their eyes met before his hips lunged forward. Emma bit her lip, eyes squeezing shut, while giving a slight whimper of pleasure.

He began to thrust in and out. Fast and hard. Slow and gentle. He savored this moment. Memorizing the sounds she made. The way her back arched. The way her nipples had completely hardened from her arousal for him. Everything about her was perfect.

And his.

Killian began thrusting deeper and harder making her scream out.

"Oh fuck! Killian!" she whimpered. "Don't stop. Oh gods!"

He started grunting as he got close. So fucking close. Emma's knuckles turned white from her grip on the counter as her body finally released her rippling orgasm. Killian came just seconds later.

Her arms gave out and legs were shaking. Killian helped her lay back on the counter to regain her composure. His head came to rest against her belly as fought to fill his lungs with air. "I mean, if you do _that_ then I think she'll completely forget about the damn shirt." she felt the smile spread across his face and heard him chuckle.

"You're bloody perfect, Emma." he whispered between breaths.

* * *

"I get off at ten tonight." she mumbled against his lips.

"I'll be here." he pressed another kiss to her before walking backwards out of the room.

"Bye." she whispered with a smile, shutting the door.

Her heart fluttered and skipped a beat. She couldn't stop smiling. She couldn't stop thinking about him. She was giddy. She was happy. She was thoroughly fucked in more ways than one.

 _No. No no no._

Those feelings can just bottle themselves right back up because _that_ is just ridiculous. There's no way she's feeling _that_ way just yet.

There was a soft knock at the door. Emma took a moment to compose herself before spinning around to open it. She giggled and smiled even wider seeing Killian standing there looking up through his lashes. "What are you doing?"

"I forgot something."

"Wh-" His lips were crashed against hers in the matter of seconds. This kiss was more passionate than the others. More driven with feelings. Killian was confirming how he felt about her and she answered back.

He slowly pulled away, eyes still closed as he slowly licked his lips. "Found it." he whispered. His blue eyes slowly revealed themselves from under his eyelids. "I better be off." Once again, he backed out of the apartment, a smirk plastered on his face, and gave a slight nod before disappearing down the stairs.

 _Oh shit…._

* * *

"Is everything done?" Killian gripped the leather steering wheel of his Acura NSX as he waited for the light to turn green. He had left Storybrooke for the day to attend to some errands.

"Aye, sir." Smee spoke through the speakers filling the car with his soft but firm tone. "I did some digging and I believe I may have located him. Some rundown apartment in New York."

Killian let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "He was _supposed_ to stay in Glasgow. Then some _bloody idiot_ allowed him to travel to Manchester. And _then_ allowed him passage on a fucking plane! Who was that?" he spat as he floored on the gas peddle.

Silence.

" **I asked you a question! I expect a reply!"**

"Me, sir." Smee whispered.

Killian took a deep breath to compose himself before continuing. "What happened to Caldwell?"

"His shoulder was hit but he'll survive."

"And Aikens?"

"Got a pretty nasty gash across his leg."

Killian sighed heavily again. "Did he bring anyone with him?"

"There were only 3 tickets purchased. McMillan and Douglas tagged along after the brawl."

"Fuck." Killian's jaw clenched. _So, he brought his two best men._ "When will you be landing?"

"In two days time, sir."

"Who are bringing?"

"Caldwell and Aikens are the only ones who offered."

Killian's knuckles turned white as he clutched the wheel again before speaking through his teeth. "You are bringing me wounded assistance? What good are they to me hurt?" He pulled into a backlot of an abandoned building and threw the car into park. "I ordered you to get me _capable_ bodies! I swear to gods, Smee! When I see you-" he trailed off before cutting the engine and switching the phone over to bring to his ear. "I have my own matters to attend to. I'll deal with you later. Call me if there are _any_ changes."

Killian shoved the phone into his pants pocket as he exited the vehicle. He popped the collar of his leather jacket, scanning his surroundings. He's doing this for Emma. All of this was for her. For her protection. For her safety. At least, those were the excuses he kept telling himself. He was beginning to see the man that he left behind in Ireland bubble back up to the surface. The man that he was trying so hard not to become again. He's made some horrible decisions in his life and he moved to Storybrooke thinking that he would be able to leave his old self behind. _Everything_ about it.

But life has a pretty fucked up sense of humor.

Killian found himself inside the old building carefully taking in his surroundings. Looking at any and every possible exit for a quick getaway if need be. "Jefferson!"

A man emerged from the shadows with a crazed smile. "Must be pretty desperate if you've called on me, Hook."

"I don't have time for games. What do you have?" he grimaced.

"Tsk tsk. No time for a spot of tea?" he laughed maniacally.

"Do you have what I need or not?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Please. Step into my office." he bowed, taking the top hat from his head, as he stretched out his arms.

Killian rolled his eyes and headed towards the shadows.

* * *

"Are you going to spill the beans or what?" Ruby asked on their impromptu lunch break.

"There's nothing to spill." she mumbled over a bite of grilled cheese. Ruby laughed and leaned against the wall next to Emma. "What?" she asked over another mouthful.

"You're happier." Ruby said with a smile. "You even gave Grumpy an extra shot and beer." she glanced over at her, waiting.

Emma shrugged. "I can't do nice things for people without a round of twenty questions?" she shot before taking another bite.

"How was it?"

"How was what?" Emma asked as she stared at her half eaten onion rings.

"I'm not stupid, Emma." she smirked and pushed away from the wall. "He totally rocked your world! Oh my gods, look at you blush!" she gasped.

"Shut up!" Emma threw an onion ring in Ruby's direction with a grimace.

Ruby squealed and clapped her hands. "Oh my gods! You guys will make gorgeous little Irish babies!"

She choked on the water she was drinking, "Ruby!"

* * *

Killian was waiting patiently against Emma's door. He had arrived slightly earlier than expected and was playing on his phone when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He quickly slid it in his pocket pushing away from the door, and smiled warmly at the appearance of Emma coming into view. She was noticeably tired and in need of sleep. Perhaps he wouldn't stay too long tonight.

"Hey." she sighed with a smile.

"Hello, beautiful." Their lips met in a brief kiss before she finagled the door open. "How was work?" he asked following her inside.

"Work." she said with absolutely no enthusiasm. "Nothing too exciting about taking orders and scraping plates."

He softly shut the door making sure to lock every available lock provided and moved to take her jacket from her shoulders. "You seem exhausted, love. How about I run you a bath?"

Emma sighed happily. "That sounds wonderful. Would you?"

"As you wish."

Emma hummed with a sigh as she sank down into the steaming water. It was quite relaxing. He even added in some essential oils he had picked up earlier that day. Killian had offered to start situating things in her apartment for her while she took as long she needed. Hell, she wasn't going to say no to that!

"Darling? What are your plans for furniture?" he asked from the living room.

"Um, I haven't even really thought about it." she called back. "I'm not even sure what I want." Honestly, she really didn't _need_ anything. But she supposes having places for her friends to sit would be nice.

"Would you be against me gifting you with some?"

"Don't you dare!"

"It'll be a housewarming gift."

"An apartment full of furniture is _not_ a housewarming gift. A _toaster_ is a housewarming gift."

She heard the shuffling of feet coming towards the bathroom and Killian slowly appeared around the corner. "Would you like me to find you the perfect toaster?" he raised a brow.

"That would be lovely." she teased with a smile.

"So this… _toaster_ you're wanting," he started, "Do you see it in leather or microfiber?" he ducked behind the wall laughing when she threw her bath sponge at him. "No need to be so violent, Swan!"

Emma was standing in the doorway of the balcony, Killian's arms wrapped around her from behind, as they enjoyed the night's breeze. She could definitely get used to this.

"You should get some sleep, love." he gently kissed the crook of her neck before pulling away. "Do you need anything before I leave?"

"You're not staying?"

He looked generally surprised by her reaction. "Would you like me to stay?"

"Do you not want to?"

"Now, I never said _that_."

"Good. Then you're staying." she smiled proudly as she made her way over to the mattress taking her place to the right.

He chuckled pulling off his shirt, "As you wish."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ Just borrowed

 _ **Authors Note**_ _ **:**_ Indeed Killian is getting shadier and shadier as the story progresses. We will be learning more about his past between the ages of 18 and 28 this chapter and onward. Comments help me! Keep them comin'!

* * *

 _Emma's screams echoed through the air of what was coming to be the familiar collapsed building of his visions. He willed his feet to move. To find her. Save her. It was his duty, and his alone, to protect her. Killian was frozen in place. He tried to call out to her, to anyone, but nothing would come from his mouth._

 _The scene changed._

 _Liam appeared from the shadows before him, a look between determination and disappointment plastered on his face. "Brother?" Killian whispered uncertainly._

" _Little brother." he greeted, somberly._

" _Younger." he corrected on impulse._

 _A brief and small smile was barely visible before, "You need to end this once and for all. This is not the man you are meant to be." Liam explained. "We all make mistakes. We all must learn from them."_

" _I don't know what to do. Brother, you need to help me! Where do I go?" Killian pleaded. "What do I do? How do I fix this?"_

" _You are the only person who can figure that out, Killian. I must be going now." Liam stepped back, slowly fading back into the shadows and away from view._

" _No! I need your guidance!" he tried to follow, but found he was still frozen. "Don't leave me!" he cried. "Not again! Liam! Liam!"_

"Liam!" Killian shot up and smacked right into Emma's forehead. "Fuck!" he rolled onto his side clutching his throbbing skull.

"Son of a bitch!" Emma leaned forward on the mattress holding her own aching head in her hands.

Emma sat on the island in the kitchen while Killian leaned over the sink, both holding cold washcloths to their heads. (Since she doesn't have any ice. She should probably get on that….)

"My apologies." he muttered.

"It's okay." she replied back taking the washcloth from her forehead. "Do you want to talk about… ya know…?" Killian turned to her now, shoulders slumping forward. "You were talking in your sleep." she explained. "I was trying to wake you when-" she motioned up to her head.

"Ah." he sighed walking over to where she was seated. "What exactly did you hear?" he asked curiously.

"Just something about you not knowing what to do? Not wanting Liam to leave."

His eyes fell closed as he deflated further. "That's the jist of it." he muttered before bending to lay his head in her lap, arms wrapping around her thighs. He felt her fingers run through his hair, gently stroking his forehead with her fingertips. It was quite soothing.

What was he supposed to do? How was he going to fix the wrongs he did? There were so many of them and Liam was absolutely no help.

 _Liam_.

He actually held a conversation with his brother. It was short lived, but a conversation nonetheless. Nothing like that had ever happened before. Usually it's bits and pieces, but this time-

"Let's get back to bed." she whispered.

"As you wish." he straightened and helped her down from the island before following her back into the bedroom.

Killian was up the rest of the night unable to find the comfort of sleep. Emma was wrapped around him. Her leg intertwined in his, arm draped over his body. There was a bit of drool on his chest from where her mouth hung open, but it only made him smile softly. She was so beautiful. So peaceful as she slept. The thought of anyone wanting to take her away from him tore him apart and pissed him off beyond belief.

 _I did this to myself._ _I made this happen._

If it wasn't for his stupid naive decisions at the age of 18, none of this would be happening. If he hadn't gotten into that damn pub brawl then he wouldn't have received that bloody job offer. He wouldn't have been in that pub in the first place if Liam were still alive. But, it's unfair to blame the dead for the mistakes of the living.

 _I_ will _fight_. _I_ will _protect her. I_ will _find a way to make this right._

He would fight until his last breath to fix this. Killian had single handedly put Emma's life in danger before even knowing her. How fucked up is that?

He stilled when Emma groaned, pushing off of him to roll over onto her other side. He wiped the drool from his chest with the comforter before standing to his feet. He needed air.

Leaning onto the railing, he looked out to the waves watching the water sparkle from the moonlight. There was an itch to go sailing. To clear his head. To forget about the danger that was coming at any moment in time. "What do I do, brother?" he whispered to the wind. "How do I make things right? This wasn't supposed to happen." His head fell onto his forearms and his hands grabbed at his hair. "I'll kill him." he muttered angrily.

* * *

Emma rolled over to hug the pillow that smelled a whole lot like Killian. She nestled into it, sighing contently. Her head was still hurting from his abrupt awakening earlier that morning, but it was livable. Emma flopped onto her back and slowly opened her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the sunlight streaming in from the doors. It took her a moment to realize, but eventually she noticed that he was gone.

She hopped up from the mattress and checked the balcony. Nope.

The bathroom? No.

Kitchen? _What the hell?_

Emma stormed into the living room to find that empty, too. "Fucker!" she shook her head kicking a box as she left the room to head back to the kitchen. He had left her. In the middle of the night, he left.

Men were all the same. They all lied. They all left. They all gave false hope. Neal was the prime example of that. Whenever she found him gone in the mornings, that's when she knew he was cheating. It's not like he had a job to go to.

No note. No phone call. He'd just show up later that day smelling of perfume, sex, and booze. He tried to hide it in the beginning, but once he realized she already knew, he obviously didn't care. She tried to make it work, though. The 'first love' bullshit. Eventually, she just gave up. They resorted to random fuck sessions when the other needed a release. That was their relationship; one using the other. She was extremely thankful that they were finally done, and for good this time.

She was angrily throwing cups into an empty cupboard when she heard the sound of takeout containers sliding across the island. Spinning around, the sight of a confused looking Killian Jones stared back at her.

"Swan?" he greeted in question.

"You were gone. You left." she accused.

"Aye. To get breakfast." he spoke slowly not fully understanding where the animosity was coming from.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

"You were sleeping." he explained with a raised brow.

Emma folded her arms and mulled it over. He left only to get breakfast. He returned with said breakfast. Maybe she _did_ overreact a just a tad. Killian has proved time and time again that he was _nothing_ like Neal and she needed to trust in that. Finally, she shrugged and walked over to where the items lay. "Plausible." she muttered.

He shook his head while running his tongue along his lower lip, sliding the container over to her. "I thought I'd surprise you with one of your favorites, though I'll admit, I didn't expect _this_ reaction."

She looked skeptical. There was no way that he knew her favorite breakfast. Banana bread pancakes with cream cheese icing paired with bacon so crispy, it was damn near burned, and fried hash browns mixed with onions and peppers. Emma poked a finger underneath the lid releasing the tabs and slowly raised it up.

 _Son of a bitch._

"How did you-?"

He smirked looking way too pleased with himself. "Remember that breakfast you so kindly skipped out on when we first met?" Emma slowly nodded. "You just so happened to be the topic of conversation. _All_ morning. Your mother is _quite_ the talker."

She groaned and slapped her forehead. _Oops_. "Ow!" she winced at her bruised cranium. "So what else did you learn about me?" she asked dryly as she lightly rubbed her forehead.

He shrugged and took a piece of bacon from his own container, biting it with a smile. "I suppose you'll just have to stick around for a while and find out."

 _Smug bastard._

* * *

A thought had occurred to him as he lazily spun back and forth in his desk chair, sipping at a tumbler of rum.

 _How does he even know about Emma?_

His eyes narrowed at the thought. Someone in town must be his eyes and ears. But who? It could literally be anyone.

 _Why did he make his move to New York?_

Something wasn't right. He _knew_ this man. He rarely ever pursued his own fights. Hell, that's why he hired him in the first place. There was only _one_ time that Killian _ever_ saw him get his hands dirty. That event was the turning point in his career and why he had decided to leave Ireland in the first place.

He scoffed to himself. 'Career _. Some_ career _that was.'_ Killian had more blood on his hands than he would ever like to admit.

He downed the rest of his drink before picking up his newly acquired Walther PPK, gritting his teeth. "I swore I would never do this again." he muttered at the pistol. Killian rolled his neck and shoulders around as he straightened his arms out in front of him, the pistol held perfectly in place. Perhaps he wouldn't have to. Maybe he could talk him down before it escalated.

He dropped the pistol and reached for the silencer, twisting it on while staring blankly at the wall. The reality was, there was no talking with this man. No more deals to be made. He was done. If he touched even _one_ hair on Emma's head, he'd blow his brains out.

Raising the pistol in front of him again, his finger twitched on the trigger. He would do it. He would kill him. With all the shit he put him through. All of the things he made him do. All of the people he had hurt. Had killed. And not once did he question why. He was too fueled by rage and anger from his brother's passing, that he had collected debts without any regard.

Killian gently placed the pistol back on his desk to lift the SIG Mosquito, again, twisting on a silencer. He stood from the chair and pointed the small pistol to the wall like the other.

 _What is he planning?_

If there was one thing he knew, it was that this man had patience. He may be fueled by power and revenge, but he wasn't sloppy. He made plans. He thought out his moves. So, why now? Why come over to the states now when he could have bide his time back in Scotland?

Killian replaced the pistol back on his desk before picking up his silenced Beretta 92FS. He looked it over and sighed. It was all a trap. He wanted a reaction out of him. He wanted him to come and find him. To seek him out. To leave Emma unguarded.

That wasn't happening.

Killian was also an extremely patient man. He'll stand back and wait for the ripples in the water.

After all….

A crocodile has to eat eventually.

* * *

Killian was perched on the hood of Emma's old yellow bug when she left work that evening. He didn't miss the confused look on her face as she gingerly walked over.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't walk m'lady to her car?" he asked smoothly.

"Number one, you're sitting on it. Number two, I'm already here. Number three, you're an idiot."

Killian poked his tongue in his cheek with a smirk as he slid off the hood. "I thought we'd already established that I'm _your_ idiot." he closed the gap between them to pull on her waist.

She narrowed her eyes with a grin. "Just reiterating."

"I think there's something else that's in need of reiteration." he bit his lip and raised that damn eyebrow. "But a kiss will do just nicely."

She slid her hands up his chest, leaning forward to meet his lips. His fingers dug into the skin of her waist as he deepened the gesture. Emma felt eyes on them, Killian must have too, because they separated almost immediately.

Ruby was standing right next to them, smiling a wolfish grin. "You guys are so fucking cute! I can't stand it!" Killian stepped back as he rubbed the spot behind his ear, the tips of them turning red. Emma was slightly pink herself. "See? I _told_ you he adores you!" she squealed in excitement. "There's so much _love_ here!"

"Okay, so I'm gonna go." Emma pointed towards her bug before scurrying off.

Ruby looked to Killian with a seductive smirk. "I'm just gonna-" She bit her lower lip as she reached out to grope his biceps. He looked at her strangely when she began poking and feeling his chest and pecs. "Wow. She's super lucky." she whispered.

"I'm just-" he pointed, clearing his throat before walking off towards his own vehicle.

Ruby sighed. "And I'm stuck with a doctor."

* * *

"Are you positive you don't need any help?" her mother spoke over the speaker. "Because I can be there in five minutes."

" _She can! She's already putting on her coat!"_ David yelled from somewhere in the room.

Emma sighed, staring at the sea of boxes. "No. It's fine. Killian's been helping me. I really need my bedroom furniture, though. I don't know how many more nights I can sleep on this mattress."

"Done! I'll have your father tear it all down and bring it over as soon as possible. Anything else?"

Emma's phone beeped signaling another call. "Uh, no. I gotta go. Love you guys!" she cut the call and switched it over. "Hey stranger." she purred.

"Hello, love. Make it home alright?"

"No flat tires or engine troubles in the nine minutes it took to get here, if that's what you mean." she smiled at the chuckle on the other end of the line.

"Now, I have some news that might come as a shock to you." he said with mock seriousness.

Emma perked up with concern. "What?"

"Don't do anything irrational." he warned.

"Dammit, Killian! What is it?"

"Now, I know I'm a devilishly handsome man, but could you possibly inform Ruby to keep her hands to herself? Unless-" he trailed off and she could hear the smirk, "You're into that sort of thing?"

Emma's eyes fell closed as a smile spread across her face. "Idiot."

"Never hurts to ask."

"So why exactly do I need to tell Ruby hands off?"

"She groped me. Completely violated me. Normally, I'd enjoy it. But, I'm a taken man."

Emma giggled. "She's a lucky lady."

"On the contrary. I'm the lucky one." he corrected. Silence filled the lines for a moment. "Swan?"

"Jones?"

"I miss you."

Emma's eyes fell closed. She missed him, too. How she wished he was here at this moment, but he had his own home. His own duties to attend to. She certainly couldn't hold him hostage for her own convenience. "I miss you, too." she whispered. The weight lifted from her shoulders at her soft spoken words. One feeling admitted. Another part mapped out in the uncharted territory.

There was a soft knock on the door peeling her away from her thoughts. "Oh, sorry. Hold on. Someone's at the door."

"As you wish."

Emma hurried from the bedroom to the front door. Just as the door unlatched, Killian pushed inside grabbing her face and pressing a hungry kiss to her lips. He kicked the door shut as he backed her up into the wall. She grunted from the force, but immediately started tearing off his clothes.

Layers soon scattered the floor of the living room.

Killian had her pinned against the wall suckling at each breast while his fingers circled her clit. He felt her nails dig into his shoulder blades and grunted a mixed sound of pain and pleasure. He quickly abandoned her breasts and moved to grab her thighs, picking her up from the floor.

Emma stared down at him returning the eager and passionate gaze he gave her. Their lips crashed together just as he thrust into her. She moaned against them before pulling away, her head falling back against the wall with another moan. "Harder." she breathed.

Killian was happy to oblige. Whatever she needed. Whatever she wanted. He'd do it for her.

Faster. Harder. Deeper.

"Oh, Killian!" she yelled out, nails digging into the back of his neck. "Fuck!" she whimpered through breathy moans. Emma felt it building, the all too familiar feeling. She screamed out, nails digging deeper as she succumbed to her orgasm.

"I'm gonna-" Killian grunted burying his head in her neck as he reached his own peak. He thrust one, two, three more times before his legs finally gave out beneath him.

Emma fell on top of him in a heap as he guided himself backward on the floor, covering his face with his arm trying to catch his breath. She placed her head on his stomach and closed her eyes as she attempted the same task.

"Why, hello." she breathed.

He smiled, "Mind if I come in?"


	13. Chapter 13

_**STOP! FANFICTION WAS DOWN FOR 12 HOURS AFTER MY LAST UPDATE! IF YOU DID NOT RECEIVE A NOTIFICATION, CHAPTER 12 WAS UPLOADED.**_

 ** _NOW, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM..._**

 _ **A/N:** This chapter is more or less a bunch of random little "scenes" and character convos happening throughout the day. It's to basically fill in some gaps that i somehow managed. No real plot to this one :)_

* * *

"Found your toaster." Killian placed a box on the counter and slid it across to Emma. "Apologies for not wrapping it." he hid his eminent smirk behind his coffee cup while returning her glare.

"You bought an actual toaster?" she asked while picking up the box and looking it over. "Great! Now I can burn toast in my very own apartment." she stated with false excitement and a roll of her eyes. She placed it back down, putting her body weight over it. "So thoughtful of you."

He replaced the mug back to the counter with a tilt of his head. "I'm sensing a bit of sarcasm, Swan."

She snorted. "A _bit_?"

He leaned closer, their noses barely touching, to whisper, "But, now that I have your attention…." He glanced to her lips before retreating back on the stool. "You may or may not be receiving a shipment in twelve to fourteen business days."

Emma's eyes widened. "You didn't!"

He merely shrugged. "I suppose you'll find out in two weeks time."

"You're an ass."

"I prefer dashing rapscallion."

"And I'd prefer it if you leave, so I can get back to work."

He flashed his bright smile as he stood. "Do you find me distracting, love?"

"Get your toaster and get out." she smirked, turning on her heel to head towards the kitchen.

"I'm taking that as a yes!" he chuckled at the look she shot at him before doing exactly as she asked.

* * *

"What happened?" Killian asked in his threatening tone as he paced in front of the three men on his couch. He was noticeably angry and rightfully so. "Who allowed his departure?" he yelled. "Aikens?"

"We held him off as best we could." The leaner man spoke. He may be small, but he had the agility. His wounded leg was elevated on the Killian's coffee table. "That is until Douglas stabbed me damn leg."

"How difficult is it to stop a gimp crocodile?" he spat. "He can't even _walk_! I bloody well made sure of that meself!" Killian yelled at the men. "Caldwell…. What do you have to say for yourself?" he looked to the bigger male now. He was built much like Killian only his upper body was twice the size.

"It's not like I was _askin'_ to get shot!" he yelled. "It shouldn't even be me fuckin' duty! If _you_ wouldn't have left in the first place, this shit wouldn't be happenin'!"

Killian took a step back, clearly taken aback by the way his man had the nerve to speak to him. "Excuse me?" he was dangerously calm. "I think you may have forgotten who's in charge here."

"It's not _my_ bloody girlfriend who's been marked." he challenged.

Killian gave a laugh. "You're right. It's not. My sincerest apologies." he stepped closer to the burly man with his arm in a sling. "How's your shoulder, mate?" he asked. Caldwell looked to his left and began rambling on about how uncomfortable it was before screaming out in pain. Killian's fingers had poked straight into the tender flesh. "You know what happens when someone tests my command." he growled in his ear. He slapped the man on his wounded shoulder, making him cry out in pain again, before returning to the front of them.

The man with the red stocking cap slowly rose from the couch. "Sir?" he asked softly.

"What is it, Smee?" he spat.

He reached up to take his hat off and nervously ran it through his fingers. "What exactly is the plan?"

He began pacing again, slower this time, as he regained the control in the room before speaking. "The plan is simple. We wait."

"Wait?!" Caldwell yelled out, grasping his now bleeding wound. "I wouldn't have flown here if I'd known it was a bloody vacation! I wanna kill someone!" he was quickly silenced when Killian shot him a daring look.

" _I_ said we wait. _I_ make the demands! _You_ follow them! Is that clear?!" he looked to the three men who all nodded simultaneously. "I trust you all have found places to stay?" Again, they all nodded. "Good. Now get out of my sight." he started towards his kitchen, "Smee!" he called from over his shoulder.

The stocky man scurried up behind him as he replaced the stocking cap back on his head. "Aye, sir?"

Killian turned on the spot once they were well out of earshot of the other two. He put a finger to his lips as he listened to Adam and Ben grumble from the living room. "I need you to keep a close eye on Caldwell. I don't trust him." he spoke low. "I feel he may trade alliances."

Smee nodded his understanding, as he fiddled with his fingers. "Anything else, sir?"

After a moment, his features softened. "Would you care to see the lass you're here to protect?"

* * *

 _Ching_.

"Really?" Emma deadpanned. "You could only last two hours?"

"Relax, Swan. Just came by to get your keys." he held out his hand expectantly.

She raised a skeptical brow as she passed by him with two Cokes. "And _why_ do you need my keys?" she smiled to the two patrons as she placed the drinks on their table. "Your food will be out shortly." Emma turned around grabbing Killian by the jacket and pulled him towards the back.

His smile was devious as he grabbed her hips and pressed her into the storage room wall. "Well now, if you wanted me alone all you had to do was ask." he moved to press his lips to hers, but she stopped him by putting her hand flush to his face.

"Slow down there, tiger." she pushed his face away and raised a brow. "Keys?" she questioned.

Killian took a few steps back, "You can't keep living out of your boxes, darling."

"And why not?" she challenged.

Killian stepped forward again, "Shall we have a rematch of the key seeking? Or are you going to hand them over willingly this time?" he stretched out his hand once more while keeping her gaze in challenge.

Emma stared at him, waiting for him to give up. Yeah, like that would ever happen. The stubborn bastard. She sighed heavily as she pulled out the chain and unclipped her apartment key. "You better not have any ulterior motives." she warned.

"Guess you'll have to wait and see." he placed a kiss to the apple of her cheek before leaving the storage room. Killian shoved the key into his pocket as he made his way over to Smee who had inconspicuously taken ownership of the wall by the door.

"She's beautiful." he murmured under his breath.

Killian smiled, pushing the diner door open. "Aye. That she is."

* * *

"Wait, so we're _actually_ going to be unpacking her things?" Smee asked as Killian shoved a box into his chest.

"Were you expecting to place cameras and microphones in m'lady's apartment?" he asked sarcastically. Smee began stuttering over his words and he rolled his eyes. "Make yourself useful and finish up the kitchen."

They made quick work of what they could. There were still some items that would need to wait until she obtained some tables and shelves. They cleared out the empty boxes and shoved the few full ones into a closet.

There was a harsh knock on the door causing them to freeze where they stood and look at each other. Surely that wasn't the Crocodile. It was far too early for his move. Killian put a finger to his lips and Smee nodded. He slowly made his way to the door as another harsh knock sounded. It could be McMillan. That man was twice the size of Killian, but much slower. He'd be able to take him down easily.

 _"Emma?"_

Killian deflated and sighed heavily. "It's her bloody father." he mumbled before unceremoniously opening the door. He plastered a smile on his face as he greeted in false excitement. "Dave!"

David's face fell. "Don't you ever go home?" he sneered, pushing inside and bumping shoulders with Killian.

He smirked and shut the door. "Only when Emma tires of me." he raised a brow. "Which luckily isn't very often." he added in suggestion.

"Spare me the details. Where is she?" he asked.

"I'm not sure if you're aware, but she has this _job_ …?"

"I could have sworn she was off today." he mumbled to himself. "I brought her bedroom furniture and wanted her to tell me where to put them."

He cocked his head to the side in amusement. "The bedroom, perhaps?"

Smee chuckled bringing David's attention to him. "Who are you? You're not from town."

"Ah, he's with me, mate."

"I'm not your mate."

He huffed and rolled his eyes. "Would you like any help?" Killian offered.

David shot him a menacing look before striding back over to the door. "No thanks. I got it."

Killian and Smee both stood against the hallway wall watching as David wrestled the dresser up the stairs. He almost had it the one time before it slid back down them. It was quite comical to see David Nolan use such colorful language. As fun as it was to see the man struggle, Killian couldn't take much more. Besides, Emma would be home in an hour and he'd prefer it if her bedroom were put together before then.

He pushed off the wall and began to stride over to the stairs. "Look, I know you don't like me. I don't really care for you either-"

"Good!" David grunted as he moved to hold the dresser in place praying it didn't fall again. "We agree on something."

"Let me help you." his eyebrows raised as he held out a hand. "You helped me after all."

David looked at the wood and thought it over. As much as he hated to admit it, he did need the help. "Grab this end, would you?"

After deflating the mattress and boxing it back up, it took relatively no time for the three men to reassemble the furniture. Killian even had enough time to make the bed and place the clothes in her drawers. David threw a father type fit when he saw him dump the underwear in her top drawer.

"It's not like I haven't seen her wearing less, mate."

David was about to throw a punch when they heard Emma call from the front. _"Hello? Why is my door wide open? Killian?"_

David pushed past him in the bedroom doorway, shoving his shoulder into his, before going to greet his daughter. He rolled his eyes, and his shoulder, before turning to Smee. "Do not call me Hook under _any_ circumstances, got it?" Smee nodded his response and he gave a curt nod back. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

Clothes littered the bedroom floor and soft sighs filled the silence. Killian rolled Emma onto her back, nipping and sucking at the soft spot on her shoulder, when his phone rang. He glanced over at the nightstand and cursed at the name on the screen.

"It can wait." she whispered against his neck before placing a wet kiss against his skin.

"I wish it could, love." he grumbled. He gave her pale skin one last love bite, as he blindly reached for the device. "You better be dying, Caldwell." he warned upon answering. Emma continued kissing his neck. "Well who's bloody fault is that?" His shoulder. "I'm not bailing you out." His bicep. "You can stay there until he releases you." She slid out from underneath of him to place gentle kisses on his shoulder. "You're the one who decided to fight the dwarf!" His spine. "Call Aikens. I'm busy." His lower back. "Give my regards to the sheriff." he ended the call and slid the phone back onto the surface.

"Is there a problem?" she asked before biting his side.

Killian growled as he rolled underneath of her. "Aye. My lady has been left unsatisfied far too long for my liking." he shot up and claimed her mouth with his before tossing her back on the bed. He hovered over the top of her and smiled wildly. "Remind me to thank your father for bringing your bed over."

Her face scrunched at the mention and gave a hum, "Let's not talk about my father right now." she rolled them back over to straddle his waist.

He gave a soft laugh as his eyes found hers. "Fair enough." His hands began to travel up her curves to cup her breasts, thumbs ran circles over the nipples to harden them from his touch.

Emma placed her hands over his, arching her back into him. She bit down on her lip as she moved her hips against his. He bucked up making her gasp out a moan in response. She lowered her hands to his chest running her fingers through the hair before lowering herself down. They shared a slow, passionate kiss as Killian rolled her beneath him. Emma pushed him back over and again, straddled his waist.

"My turn."

A brow raised as his tongue poked the inside of his cheek. "As you wish." he put his hands behind his head gazing up at her raw beauty. "I'm completely at your mercy, Swan."

Emma bent down to place a chaste kiss to his lips. She guided them along the stubble on his chin, before nipping at the underside. Her tongue trailed a wet line down his throat until she arrived at his chest. She glanced up at him before softly biting at his right nipple.

He sucked in a sharp breath, arms flexing and stomach muscles tensing from the action. Killian was fighting the urge to take control. To throw her on the bed and ravish her over and over again. He would try his best though, to hold off, however long that may be.

The evidence of wet kisses were scattered around his hairy torso. She was settled between his legs with her right hand firmly grasping his member, pumping slowly. Her tongue ran over the tip making Killian hiss and buck his hips. She swirled her tongue again and again before taking him fully into her mouth.

"Bloody hell!" he grunted out.

Emma's hand cupped his balls massaging them in her palm as she listened to his sounds of pleasure. Killian had grabbed the other pillow, shoving it over his face to keep from grabbing her. She bobbed her head up and down, again and again, running her tongue along the underside of his shaft. She abandoned his balls and removed her mouth from him with a loud pop. Grasping the end of his cock, she swirled her tongue around the tip, licking away any sticky fluid that had found its way there.

He flung the pillow from his face to look down at her with wide and hungry eyes. "Holy fuck, Emma." his hand searched for her free one at his side "I can't last much longer." he choked out.

She gave his tip one last wet kiss before moving to hover over his hips. Reaching underneath of her, she grabbed his cock and positioned it at her entrance.

Killian's hands were firmly gripping her hips as she lowered herself down. He moaned out, pressing his head back into the pillow. His eyes were screwed shut from the quick, even pace at which she was riding him. His moans began mixing with hers.

He tried. He tried the best he could, but he just had to take control. Killian grabbed her hands, placing them firmly on his chest before grabbing her ass and thrusting his hips upward. She screamed out in pleasure as his pace gained speed and repetition.

"Fuck! Oh g- Killian!" she screamed. Her nails dug into his chest as her orgasm overtook her.

"Fuck, Emma. I'm gonna cum." Was all the warning she had before his hips slapped against hers and stilled. She fell forward, collapsing on top of him, breathing just as heavy as he. "Bloody hell, lass."

Emma giggled kissing his shoulder. "That good?"

"Good is not a proper enough description for what just occurred." he shook his head. "That was bloody brilliant!" he gently pushed her off to hover over the top of her body. "You're incredible." he whispered as he began peppering her lips and neck in tiny kisses. "You're beautiful."

Emma laughed wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're not too bad yourself."

Killian rested his forehead against hers and sighed contently. "I mean it, Emma. You're beautiful. Wonderful. Incredible. Strong. Driven." he wanted to say more, to say the words. It was too soon. He was content in waiting for Emma to reach the same place he was before throwing those three words at her.

Emma's heart skipped a beat at each word he spoke. She was almost certain that that horrendous phrase was about to topple out, but it never did. Love is a touchy subject. She'd rather that phrase didn't even exist. How can someone say they love tacos or, or, coffee, and then turn around and say it to their significant other? It just never made any sense to her.

She didn't know how to respond so she kissed him. Kissed him with passion. With hidden meaning. And he seemed to understand. He answered back with just as much as she was willing to give.

Emma circled the deepest part of the map in her mind. That part would need the most attention and time. She would have to plan her trek carefully through that jungle. Thick, bold letters filled the middle.

 _ **L.**_

 _ **O.**_

 _ **V.**_

 _ **E.**_

* * *

 _My apologies for the 2 month delay… i'm so sorry! I've had some mishaps and some brain farts, but uploads should become normal once again!_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ bit redundant at this point

* * *

Killian had gone home after Emma went to work for the day. He was sitting at his desk, drink in hand, as Smee filled him in on the new information he had uncovered. His mind wasn't on that, though. He found his mind drifting off to the beautiful blonde he had sworn himself to protect. He loved the way she tested him. He loved how annoyingly stubborn she was. He loved the way she made him feel. There was a new purpose for waking up in the mornings and a spectacular reason to smile again.

He was in love.

Which also meant he had his work cut out for him that much more. He'd lost one love to this Crocodile already. He wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of taking another. His mind shot to Milah at that moment, causing his fingers to clutch at the glass in his hand.

He felt pressure on his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts. "Sir?"

Killian's eyes shot open. He felt pain and the rush of warmth in his left hand. Looking over, he cursed and jumped up at the sight of the blood and rum all over his floor. Evidently, he had clutched at the glass a little _too_ hard. "Bloody hell." he hurriedly lifted the shirt he was wearing from his body and wrapped it around his hand, before rolling the chair away from the mess.

They made quick work of the floor and was now tending to his wound. Blood covered the bathroom sink and a few stray pieces of glass found themselves buried into his hand. Killian carefully peeled them out with tweezers before dumping alcohol onto the open flesh. His eyes screwed shut as whimpers of pain came from the back of his throat. "Get the wrappings. In the cabinet behind the door." he choked out.

The pain was excruciating, but he's had worse. There was one time he had to dig a bullet out of his own shoulder and continue on with chasing his mark. Now _that_ was pain.

His left hand was shaking as he tightly wrapped the gash. How was he going to explain _this_ one to Emma?

"Where's Caldwell?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"As far as I know, he had gone back to the hotel. Aikens ended up bailing him out."

"Bloody fool." Killian wiped down the sink with the ruined shirt before rinsing the rest with water. "What caused the fight?"

Smee grabbed at his stocking cap nervously and shrugged. "It seems that he was out looking for one, sir. He's fairly angry with your decision on laying low and seemed it fitting to create his own battles."

Killian sighed deeply. He never fully trusted Caldwell. Even in the beginning. He never seemed to enjoy taking orders or following them for that matter. Seems that he would have to remind him the hard way of who's who. "Where is his location?"

* * *

Killian's fist met Caldwell's door four times before he stood to wait. The sounds of footsteps could be heard shuffling around before the door slowly unlatched. It barely opened an inch before he shoved his way through, grabbing Caldwell by his collar and pushing him into the wall. His left forearm was pressed into his neck and his right hand reached behind his back. "Do you find it proper to disobey me?" he growled. "Have you forgotten who you are dealing with?" he smiled darkly as he pulled his silenced Beretta 92FS from behind his back.

Caldwell's eyes widened as the pistol came to rest between his eyes. "N-no." he stuttered.

"No- _what_?" He pressed the barrel flush to his forehead as he bared his teeth.

"No, _sir._ " he spat sarcastically.

Killian turned the gun in his hand and punched the butt of it against Caldwell's face. He dropped his arm from his neck as he watched the man spit blood and roll his jaw around. "Continuing the disrespect." he pointed the pistol at him again, cocking his head to the side. "I will not tolerate it."

Caldwell chuckled. "We both know you won't shoot me." he smiled widely before continuing. "You've gone soft. You haven't been the same since-"

"Say it and the least of your worries will be that shoulder and a fat lip." Killian threatened. "Don't test me."

"Tell me something, Hook. At what point did you think it was acceptable to _fuck_ the boss's harlot of a wife?" he sneered.

It only took half a second for Killian to react. The pistol moved from his face to his thigh before he pulled the trigger. Caldwell yelled out in pain as he fell to the floor, his free hand hovering over his newly acquired gunshot wound. He moved to squat down in front of him, pressing the barrel of the gun into his wounded shoulder. Another scream and whimper came from Caldwell. Killian's blue eyes met the man's brown ones and held his gaze.

"I've warned you before to _never_ disrespect a woman in my presence. _Especially_ Milah." his voice was laced with venom as he moved the pistol from his shoulder to the underside of the man's chin. "Do you want to further test your luck, _mate_? Or have we reached an understanding?"

Eventually he got back up to his feet, satisfied that, for now, his alliance was with him. If he crossed him one more damn time, he'd lose more than just the ability to walk properly.

"Clean yourself up. You look absolutely horrid." And with that, he left.

* * *

"Hello!" Ruby snapped her fingers in front of Emma's face before shoving a basket of fries into her chest. "Table 9."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Emma found herself thinking about Killian more and more as days passed. She was still ignoring the trek through the jungle of love, but was quickly realizing that she'd have no other choice here soon. It was quite ridiculous how much she missed his smart ass mouth. The little banters they found themselves having throughout the day. She missed the way his arms wrapped her in a comfortable cocoon. She missed _him._

 _Maybe I do lo-_

Regina stormed into the diner and grabbed Emma's attention, pulling those ridiculous thoughts from her head, before sitting in one of the booths. She rolled her eyes and stepped over to the table pulling out her notepad. "Pie?" she asked with fake enthusiasm.

"Sit down, Miss Swan." she ordered pointing to the empty bench in front of her. Emma was slightly confused, but obeyed. After a moment of returning her glare, she finally began. "It seems your boyfriend has brought some _friends_ to Storybrooke. Those _friends_ are starting fights in my town. Disrupting the peace. I can't have that."

Emma's brows furrowed in confusion. "You're telling me this because….?" she drawled with narrow eyes.

"He listens to you. Talk to him for me and pass along the message." she sat back into the booth with pursed red lips.

"And that message would be….?" she mimicked her speech from before.

"Get his accent wielding buddies under control or I'll send them _all_ on a little swim. That includes leather jacket himself."

"Anything else _Madame Mayor?_ " sarcasm was how she dealt with this woman. Sarcasm and fake smiles, which she had on her face at the exact moment she rose from the table.

"Yes." Regina smiled devilishly before folding her hands on the table in front of her. "I think i'll take that apple pie now."

* * *

Emma wound up having a short shift today and purposely failed to mention that to Killian, hoping to surprise him. Instead, she found herself sitting on his couch with William Smee as he ate his fill of some gouda cheese he had found in the fridge. Evidently, Killian had stepped out for a bit and Smee had no idea when he'd be back.

It was silent aside from the sound of chewing from the stocky man next to her. Emma sighed, pulling out her phone to check the time. 3:22. She had been sitting here for twenty-two minutes. Which also meant that Smee had been eating cheese for the past twenty-two minutes.

Luckily, she only had to endure the horrible sound of cheese smacking against teeth for another four minutes before Killian entered his home. "You… got off early?" he asked confused and off guard. He seemed distant in his smile when their gazes met.

She was hoping for a happier welcome, but didn't receive it. Something was off. Something was bugging him, eating at him. He always took it upon himself to make her feel better, so she'll do the same.

His eyes wandered over to Smee, narrowing into a glare. "Is that my gouda? Did you raid my fridge when I left?"

Smee's eyes widened as he shoved the rest of the chunk in his mouth. "Mo?" he coughed spewing little chunks of cheese everywhere making Emma giggle softly.

A puff of air came from his lips as he walked along the backside of the couch. "I'll just be a moment, love." When he leaned over to kiss the top of her head is when she noticed the bloodied bandage around his left hand. She darted away from his incoming kiss and simply pointed. Killian sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I may have shattered my favorite tumbler… in my hand."

"Woah, wait." she held up her hands as she moved to stand to her feet. " _In_ your hand? As in… y-you squeezed it and it broke? That thick one?"

He stared blankly at her, giving her a nonverbal answer.

" _In_ your hand?" she repeated, more to herself than to anyone else. Emma sucked in a breath, nodding slowly. "At least you didn't punch anybody this time."

Killian gave a humorless chuckle before exiting the living room to ascend the stairs to the bathroom.

"No." he spoke to his reflection in the mirror and sighed. "Only shot someone in the leg." This is what he wanted to leave behind. This whole double life. It's exhausting and nothing but lies. When the time comes, Emma will despise him. No, she'll hate him. With every fiber of her being.

But, maybe she'll understand. If she loves him the way he's grown to love her, nothing could stop that.

Right?

"You've know Killian for a while right?" she whispered to Smee.

"Aye, ten years." he smiled proudly. "I've never met a greater man in all my days. Why do you ask, ma'am"

Emma moved closer to Smee placing gentle fingers on his arm. "I want to do something special for him, but I'm not sure what. I know he loves music, and drawing, drinking, sailing, but the rest of him is such a mystery. I just want to surprise him. He's done so much for me already."

Smee smiled and patted her hand. "If only you knew, ma'am."

"Please, call me Emma. You sound so 18th century."

He patted her hand again, giving her a small grin. "Certainly, _Emma._ " he straightened his posture and cleared his throat before starting, "If you really want to surprise Ho- uhh… Jones," he quickly corrected, "He's quite the gambler. Loves any type of challenge. Anything that has to do with winning, really. Darts. Poker. Dice. Oh, he's quite fond of the shooting range, though I doubt a lass like yourself would ever set foot in there-"

Emma perked up at the mention, a twinkle in her eye. "Who says I wouldn't?" she smiled broadly and kissed his chubby cheek. "Thank you! You just gave me an amazing idea! Tell him to meet me at my place at 4:30."

* * *

Emma whipped open the door at 4:30 on the dot to a stunned looking Killian. His hand was still in midair as though he were about to knock, but quickly lowered it to his side. "Punctual as usual." she chimed.

Killian straightened his jacket and gave a smile. "A gentleman is always on time."

"Yeah, well you won't be a gentleman tonight." she smirked. Emma thought that his eyebrows might actually lift off of his forehead from the shock.

"Well, I like the sound of that already!" he moved to grab her waist, but she smacked his hands away. "Feisty." he growled playfully.

"It's only our second date. What kind of lady do you think I am?" she placed a hand against her chest in mock offense.

He chuckled, offering his arm in which she took. "Apologies, lass. Where are my manners?" He placed a hand atop the one that was gripping at the inside of his elbow. "Where might we be headed?" he asked.

"It's a surprise. Trust me on this."

"I suppose I'm left with no other choice."

* * *

"Swan? Explain to me again why we're trekking through the woods?" he asked as he adjusted the small bag of food they had picked up from Granny's.

Emma stopped on a log, taking the chance to catch her breath. "I didn't explain in the first place." she looked up at him as he reached the same point as she and smiled. " _Trust_ _me_."

Killian poked his tongue in his cheek before waving his free hand ahead of them, allowing her to continue. "As the lady wishes."

They finally made it to a clearing and a barn came into view. Emma smiled and adjusted the water bottles in her arms as she sprinted forward. Killian stayed behind, looking weary of their surroundings. They were in the middle of nowhere.

With no protection.

Perhaps next time he should think over the fact that he should be carrying at all times.

Emma had reappeared from the barn carrying a set of targets over her shoulders. Killian's brows rose significantly as he hurried closer. "Emma?"

She threw the target piece from her shoulders and placed it down, to turn and look at him. "Killian?" she noticed him pointing in confusion with peaked interest and she smiled. "Can you go in the barn and grab the other one? I have to find where we left our leverage." Killian looked to her strangely as he back away.

He placed the bag of food down on a barrel of hay as he looked around. It was like any other barn. Old. Dirty. Abandoned. In one corner there were nothing but targets. All sorts. Paper, metal, stands, holds. _Well this is an interesting development._ Did Emma know how to shoot?

He filed through some of the targets and realized that they were for different weapons. Arrows, rifles, pistols. Mostly airsoft pellet guns by the looks of them. But, she asked for this four point target gallery.

Killian placed the gallery down next to the other, not taking his eyes off of Emma while she strategically set everything up. As it appears, he doesn't really know too much about her life. He had opened up about some of his and neglected to ask her any information about hers. He tried not to pry too much in fear of upsetting her, but, perhaps tonight he could learn a bit more about Miss Emma Swan.

"There!" she smiled at the setup and took off her leather jacket revealing a grey tank over the top of her usual dark jeans and brown riding boots. "Hope you're ready to get your ass handed to you."

Killian perked up at her words and smirked. "Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe?" she tossed the jacket over to the barn before making her way inside. Upon returning she stopped to take in the view before her. Killian had taken his own jacket off. She couldnt help but notice the way his black v neck t shirt hugged his arms and hung loosely on his body. Damn those tight jeans that hugged his ass and thighs in just the right way. She bit her lip as she pushed the thoughts of forest sex from her mind. "Which one do you want?"

Killian turned at her words seeing her hold up two co2 air pistols and hummed to himself. He pointed to the black one leaving her with the silver and checked it over. He wasn't used to such light weaponry and it would take a few shots to get accustomed, but it'll be fun regardless. Emma shoved a container of pellets into his chest along with another co2 cartridge as she fumbled with her own, along with the bag of food that she placed at her feet.

"8 targets in total minus the resets. Hit anything less than 5 targets is a dare. 5 or more will be truth." she explained as she double checked the hold.

He chuckled as he checked his own ammunition. Pre-filled. "Truth or Dare with guns? My kind of woman." He raised a brow as he gave a sideways glance over to beauty next to him.

She rolled her eyes and nudged her head towards the targets. "Practice." Emma sat down on the ground, carefully placing the items in her hands down next to her, before tearing open the bag to find her grilled cheese.

Killian rolled his neck around and rotated his shoulders before holding the pistol out in front of him. Luckily his trigger hand was free of bandages, but, evidentally it didn't matter as he only hit 3 out of the 8 targets. "Son of a bitch." his hand fell to his side in disbelief of his own shitty aim.

"This will be fun." Emma laughed around a mouthful of cheesy goodness. "I already have your first dare lined up."

Killian shot her a look before hitting the resets. "Quite cocky aren't you, lass?" he lined up his shots again. 5 this time.

"Not _too_ bad." she mused before stretching to grab a water bottle.

He reset the targets one last time, before lowering the pistol. "You talk lot of game, Swan. Care to show me what you got?"

Emma shoved the rest of the sandwich in her mouth as she got to her feet. She wiped the butter on her jeans, before bending to take her pistol in hand. She did her own loosening routine before holding it out in front of her body. Her breathing steadied as she lined up her shots. 7 out of 8.

Killian stared at her in complete shock and admiration. He was driven speechless for a second time in his life. The attraction he had for her grew tenfold at that very moment. So, Emma _could_ shoot. "Who taught you?" he asked still completely amazed.

Emma smiled proudly as she flipped her blonde locks over her shoulder. "Guess you'll have to wait to find out." she reset the targets before walking off towards the nearest tree. "Ready to make this interesting?" she asked, switching the safety on and shoving the pistol into the space of the small her back.

Killian watched after her as she climbed to one of the thicker branches and straddled it. Pulling the gun from her back, she switched the safety off and adjusted her body on the branch. Her body lay almost flat against it. Her knees hugged the cool bark as she adjusted her aim. It would be slightly more difficult at this angle, but that was all part of the fun. His eyes studied her position and found himself feeling oddly overjoyed. His gorgeously beautiful and beyond amazing, girlfriend knew what she was doing, and she went out of her way to impress him. They could have had a nice normal dinner, exchanged idle chit chat, but what was the fun in that?

5 targets. Truth.

Not bad. Emma swung her body up and smirked down at the man below. "My father." she called down. "My father taught me how to shoot. Every summer and nearly every weekend we would come out here to this clearing and shoot around. My mother attempted to teach me archery, but I preferred the guns."

 _So David can shoot, too. Brilliant._

He sighed as he walked over to the tree. "Never thought Dave to be the type." He helped her down before copying her way up. The targets were angled from up here. Killian laid his body down flat against the bark, just as Emma had, and looked for an easier angle. He moved his shoulders slightly to the right and slowed his breathing.

6 targets. Truth.

"How do you feel about me?" she questioned nonchalantly.

He nearly slipped from the tree from being caught off guard by her question. Killian sat up to stare down at her. "In what context?" he asked before seeing her shrug. He threw his leg over the branch and jumped down. That was a loaded question and he wasn't quite sure which way he should go to answer it. "I feel a great deal for you, Swan. But, I wouldn't be against feeling other things." he ran his tongue over his lower lip before biting down.

She backed away from him with a satisfied small grin. "Next round."

They ended up on top of the barn. The targets were much harder to manage this way. Killian munched on his order of mozzarella sticks as he watched Emma shoot 2 of the targets and curse. He laughed and tossed the half eaten stick back in the bag and stood to his feet. "Rotten luck, love. First dare of the evening! What shall it be?" he paced the rickety roof proudly, with boosted ego, causing Emma to roll her eyes. "I dare you… to be _nice_ to me the rest of the evening. Think you can manage?"

She got to her feet and glared. Opening up her mouth to say something smart, Killian mimicked her exact face holding up a finger in playful warning. Her mouth closed into a thin line and groaned. _Asshole._ "Your turn."

Killian paced the edge figuring out the best place to shoot from. He stopped, looked over the edge with a smirk before dropping down. Emma's eyes widened. She all but ran over to locate where he had gone. Hearing the shots, she looked up to see 6 of the target's gone, while Killian smiled broadly up at her from the ledge of the window.

"That's cheating!"

"I'm still technically on the roof." he countered. "I just found a better vantage point." Emma growled and pushed away from the ledge. "No help?"

"Do it you-" she stopped short remembering that stupid dare and turned back around to offer her hand. "Where did _you_ learn how to shoot?" she asked dryly.

Killian stiffened at her question and at a vivid memory that began playing through his head.

He had to give her the truth by rules of the game. That didn't necessarily mean the _whole_ truth. "I used to work for someone who trained me. Well, it wasn't necessarily him. It was his assistant." and then he fell quiet.

Peaked interest at its finest. This was the first she's _ever_ heard about a job. "What did you do?" she asked.

His brow shot up at the question and he tutted. "One truth per shot, darling."

Next round, Killian earned a truth question. "I'll start off simple. If you weren't a waitress in some grimy diner what would you want to be doing?"

Emma turned to face him with a grin. "Criminal Justice. It's always been a dream of mine."

Impressed and slightly shocked Killian took his shot. "Bloody hell. Misjudged that." he muttered.

"Yes!" Emma jumped up from the ground and laughed. "I've been waiting for this! I dare you to call Regina!"

"Regina? What the blazes for?" he grimaced at her shrug and smug smile. "I thought I dared you to be nice, Swan?" he muttered as he dug for his phone.

"Call Regina, _please._ "

He rolled his eyes and scrolled through his contacts. "What am I supposed to say?" he asked as he hovered over the phone button.

"You're a smooth talker. I'm sure you can figure it out. Oh! Put it on speaker!" she bounced on the balls of her feet, clearly enjoying this a little _too_ much.

The phone began to ring. He felt extremely nervous as he ran a hand through his hair. Oh, what he wouldn't do to make Emma happy. "Is there a reason you're interrupting my dinner, tight pants?" Regina's voice echoed through the clearing.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or disgusted by your knowing of how tight my pants are."

"Ugh, is there a point to this?" she barked.

"Nope. Not really." he smiled widely at Emma's stifled laugh.

"You called me _just_ to annoy me?"

He raised a single brow and smirked wildly. "Aye."

"Asshole." with that the call disconnected.

"That went better than expected." he chuckled and put the phone back into his pocket. "Next round."

Emma. Truth.

"Why haven't you followed your dream?"

Emma snorted as she played with the safety on the gun. "Neal. He thought that I would be untrustworthy if I went to school in a different town. Let alone a different state. He wouldn't go with me, either. Something about how he didn't want to just pick up and move just for a dream. Dreams fade. Love lasts. The whole stupid fucking spiel that I fell for. Now he's left town and moved on with his bimbo he continuously cheated on me with." she let out a humourless laugh before dropping the gun to her side, staring off into the distance. "I guess I was just naive. I would have done anything to keep him around because that's what I thought I needed at the time. Even though he broke my heart time and time again."

Killian stepped closer to gently take the pistol from her hand. He adjusted both pistols in his right hand, so his left could hold hers. "If it can be broken, it means it still works." he took a thoughtful breath, closing his eyes. "I never thought I would be able to love, again. I lost my first to the man I worked for."

Emma's eyebrows furrowed. _Again? First?_ Her eyes widened in realization. The unspoken words were right there, filling the area around them with odd static. "That's a shitty boss." she whispered.

His hand slipped out of hers as he bent to put the pistols on the ground. "Aye. That he is."

"Is? You still work for him? Over here?" she questioned as they both took a place on the ground.

"I wouldn't really say _for_ him."

"What do you do?" They both looked out to the targets as he searched for an explanation. How hard was it to explain what you do for a living?

He finally settled on the most vague answer. "Debt collecting."

She laughed softly turning her head to face him. "You're one of those annoying callers at three in the morning?"

A small smile appeared on his face as he looked down to his boots. "Something like that." A quiet moment fell between them before he spoke again. "Emma?"

"Killian?"

"How do _you_ feel about _me_?" he asked softly.

Emma's stomach lurched. _Well, guess it's time to start trekking._ "You mean _besides_ how annoyingly irritating you can be?"

"Aye. Preferably." Killian leaned back onto his elbows and waited for her to continue.

 _Don't think about it. Just say it. Don't think about it. Just say it. Don't think about it. Just say it._

"You seem to… find your way into my thoughts on a regular basis and I don't really know how to feel about it. On one hand I would love nothing more than to explore all of these new feelings with you, but on the other…. I have trusted and have been burned by it. I feel apprehensive. I don't want to get hurt again. To be let down."

Killian sat up, taking her hand in his. "Hey. I don't intend to let you down."

"I know. Maybe that's why I'm scared? You genuinely care about me and I don't know how to accept that." Their fingers laced together and she felt a gentle reassuring squeeze on her hand. "It's going to take time."

"I'll be here waiting. I'm not going anywhere. I'm a very patient man, love. Some may say stubborn and persistent." he flashed a smile that she returned.

A few silent moments passed between them before, "Where do we go from here?" she whispered.

"Wherever you want to take us, Swan."


	15. Chapter 15

They wound up shooting around a little longer before packing it up and heading to the local bar. _The Rabbit Hole_ was the main source of entertainment in the small forsaken town, and it occurred to them earlier that he's never stepped foot into it.

A few drinks down and the odd tension of the night's earlier conversation had ceased.

"I fucking suck!" Emma yelled out after _another_ failed attempt at sticking the damn dart to the board. "Is there a trick to this?"

Killian went to claim the darts from the board, and floor, before striding back over with a smirk. "A firm arm and a loose wrist. Here-" he gave her the three darts before taking the space behind her. "Hold it up." A hand was pressed against her belly as the other held her forearm steady. "Hold the dart out in front of your line of vision, and adjust the feathers to the bullseye." His hand slid down to her elbow after she found her aim and reworked his position accordingly.

Emma wasn't fully paying attention to his instructions. She was too worried about the feel of his hands on her, and his breath against her ear.

 _Who's idea was it to come to the bar, again?_ _Oh… mine._

She swallowed hard and attempted to focus again. "So, what now?"

He chuckled low in her ear while giving her waist a small squeeze. "Bit distracted are we?" his lips brushed against her earlobe before whispering, "Not that i blame you, of course." he nipped at the flesh smiling at the soft moan he was rewarded with, before moving away. "Flick your wrist and follow through. Try."

He watched the blush cover her cheeks as she tried to refocus. The dart left her hand and _at_ _least_ made it on the board this time.

"Good one! But, maybe try and make a point next throw." He teased, planting a kiss to the apple of her cheek. He backed away once more to gaze at the woman before him. He would have never fathomed he'd be here again. In love. He swore off his heart, after he had lost Milah 5 years ago, but somehow she wormed her way through his barrier.

Two more darts left her hand. Two more darts stuck to the board. "Yes! I'll have another thing to kick your ass in, in no time!"

He opened his mouth to respond when someone clapped him on the shoulder. "'ey boss! Didn't think I'd see you in here."

He didn't need to turn around to know who it was. "Aikens." he greeted somberly," I see you're enjoying yourself." he stepped away from his grip and turned his body towards his. "But, if you don't mind-" he gave a slight gesture towards Emma's direction as she took the darts from the board.

Adam immediately raised his hands and took a step back, once realizing that he was on a date. "Sorry, sir."

"Who's this?" she asked, spinning a dart between her fingers.

Killian gave a slight eye roll, waving a hand between them in introduction, "This is Adam Aikens. Aikens. Emma Swan."

"Pleasure, m'lady." he took the hand she offered and gave a firm shake before turning his attention back to Killian, "Ehm, have you seen Caldwell, lately?"

His posture stiffened and his features hardened almost instantly. Business as usual _._ "Will you excuse me, darling? I'll only be a moment."

Emma nodded, watching as he walked off. She noticed his demeanor change drastically at the mention of the other man's name. It sounded familiar. She twirled the dart between her fingers again before lining up her shot, and throwing it to the board.

 _Caldwell. That's the friend who called the other night. Oh! That reminds me!_

She should really wait until he's done talking, but it _was_ a message from the Mayor herself. Pushing past a few people, she came up behind Killian who was huddled in the corner with Aikens, speaking abnormally quiet. "Uh, Jones?"

They immediately silenced. Killian and Aikens both turned their heads making her feel like maybe she _should_ have waited until he came back. "Yes, Swan?"

"I forgot to mention earlier, uh, Regina came in and threatened to ship all of you out if anyone started anymore crap. In town. So… yeah…." Emma slowly backed off and quickly made her way to the bar motioning to the bar keep. "Two doubles."

"Rough day, sister?" Leroy turned on his stool knocking back his own.

"Not today. Just really thirsty." she joked with a smile.

Leroy lifted his empty glass in acceptance. "I can drink to that!"

"My apologies, love. Leroy." Killian came up from behind, sliding a ten across the bar just as the drinks were being placed down. "You can inform Regina that the matter is completely taken care of."

Aikens stepped, or more, limped, up beside her and passed her a twenty. "Have some drinks on me, lass. It was nice to meet you." he gave a small smile, before giving a curt nod to Killian, and disappearing from the bar.

* * *

"Please?" Emma begged. "Jus' one?"

They ended up at Killian's place after a few (or more) drinks and Emma was currently trying to talk him into playing his guitar. _He_ on the other hand was not having it. He was 'rusty' and 'shy' and 'embarrassed' and 'it wasn't tuned properly'. You know, every last excuse in the book.

"Fine! _I'll_ play!" she stumbled onto the couch wrestling to bring the guitar into her lap. "Hmmm…" she began staring at it like a chemistry problem. "How'dyou play?" she slurred.

He laughed leaning over the back of the couch to strum a few of the cords. " _These_ make the music, Swan." he teased. He had to admit, drunk Emma was the funniest Emma.

"Oh right! Right. Yeah, no. I knew that." she smacked his hand away and attempted her _own_ version of music. Which wasn't very good considering she didn't know what the hell she was doing and was _quite_ inebriated.

"Bloody hell! Are you sure those are even notes?" he asked through a chuckle.

"Hey! The're music 'k? It's sti- still music." she continued to horribly play before he snatched the guitar away. "Tha's jus' rude."

"No, it was quite necessary. I still value the use of my eardrums, thank you." he laughed and dodged away when her fist attempted to meet his arm. He climbed over to sit on the back of the couch before strumming a few of the cords. His fingers soon danced over the strings as he loosened them up to play.

He started out by playing through the song ' _Crazy For This Girl'_ by ' _Evan and Jaron'._ He loved the way she watched him and swayed to the music and noticed a tear being inconspicuously wiped away, but kept on belting his heart out to her.

The lyrics to this song were completely self-explanatory and he was extremely grateful that she wasn't shying away. As the song came to an end he thought of an idea.

Killian bit his lower lip, looking over to Emma as he began to play ' _I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)'_ by _The Proclaimers._ Her eyes lit up at the tune. Not only by the fact that he even knew _how_ to play it and that it sounded amazing coming from his mouth, but that he remembered her favorite movie ' _Benny and Joon'_. That was her favorite song from said movie.

The tune began to transition into an acoustic version of ' _Cheerleader'_ by _OMI._ Again, making her smile. Another nod to something he remembered about her. The short lived sport she did in high school that she only mentioned the once.

Emma burst into a fit of giggles when he began to dramatically belt out ' _I Touch Myself'_ by _Divinyls._ His rendition was beyond hilarious and she may have only sang along a _little_ bit.

He placed a hand against the cords, abruptly stopping the vibrations and ceasing the sound. Emma gazed up at him as she wiped her tears away from laughing. "You remembered!"

"Of course, love. Why wouldn't I?" he carefully moved the acoustic from his lap and placed it gently on the floor behind him. The blue in his eyes started to slowly turn darker. His fingers came up to rub his temples as he lifted himself from the couch. "Bloody hell. Not now." he pleaded to himself.

"Wha's wrong?" she slurred. "Headache?"

"No, jus-" his eyes squeezed shut as he stumbled to the stairs, attempting to get to his study.

"Killian?!" she was at his side within moments, sobering up almost immediately at the sight of him falling against the railing. "Jones? Killian! Killian!"

" _Killian! Killian!" Emma's voice was screaming his name when he pulled the trigger. A big burly man fell hard against the concrete, crimson liquid flowing out from underneath of him. He noticed the room spinning and the edges of his vision were turning white. Whatever had happened before this moment led to him being fatally shot. He could feel it with every strained breath he took. Pain rushed to his knees when he fell to the ground._

" _Perhaps you should have taken that deal, dearie. Now you get to watch her die. How exciting!" There was an annoying little high pitched giggle as he watched the man with silver hair, a pointed nose and mischievous smile, limp over to Emma. "First my Milah and now Miss Swan."_

 _He tried to yell, tried to scream, but nothing came. All that happened was him falling limply to his side. He was losing blood. Losing time. Maybe death would be so kind as to take him before he had the chance to watch hers._

 _He failed._

 _Failed himself. Failed his brother. Failed the love of his life._

He gasped for air, clutching at his chest. The pain was gone. He could breathe again. Killian fumbled to his feet unaware of Emma's confused cries. That damn reptile was going to make a deal. Another bloody deal. If he didn't take it, she would die right in front of him. As much as he tried to stop it, the memory of Milah began to play out.

" _No!" Killian burst from the ground as he frantically scrambled across the yard to where Milah lay. "Milah!" he gently took her head in his hands looking down at her. "You'll be fine. I'll take care of you." he looked down to the bullet wounds in her stomach and covered them with a shaking hand. "Just a scratch. I can suture it up moments." he lied. The bullet punctured through vital organs and was sure that the internal bleeding would take her within moments._

" _I'm sorry... my love." she forced out between strained breaths. Her face skewed shut in pain, coughing and gurgling up blood._

" _Don't. Don't be sorry." he tried to stop the bleeding and the realization that she wasn't going to make it. "You'll pull through."_

 _He tried to comfort her as she reached her last moments. Tried to reassure her, but it was no use. There was nothing to be done._

" _I love you." Her words were barely audible before she went limp._

" _Milah? No, Milah.… no no no no no." he laid her head down on the grass as he pulled his bloodied hand away from her stomach. He gently caressed her paled face, leaving streaks of blood against the skin. "No." he breathed, eyes welling with tears. Tears of loss. Tears of sorrow. Tears of anger. His jaw clenched as his breathing became quickened and heavy._ " _ **What have you done?!"**_ _he screamed to the wispy haired man._

No, she wasn't going to see the same fate. That wasn't in the cards. No. They _will_ have a life together. A _long_ life. He'll stack the fucking deck if he has to. This man _will not_ take another piece of happiness from him. His thoughts stopped for a moment when gentle hands cupped his face. It was then he realized that he made it to his study and his hand hovered over the drawer occupied by his Mosquito. Quickly retracting his hand, he turned his attention to Emma. His heart shattered at the fear and concern in her eyes.

"Emma." her name came out in a breathy whisper. His arms were around her in seconds pulling her into a strong embrace.

 _I'm going to make this right._

"What the hell was that?" she pushed away as the question fell from her lips. "What just happened?" her voice was rising in concern. "You wouldn't respond to anything!"

He sighed, leaning against his desk. The way she acted before to the news of Liam giving him messages made him wary of how she would react to _this._ There was only one way to find out. _Here goes nothing._ "Liam shows me things, things that will happen, though they're not always completely certain. He was always very insightful when he was alive and i suppose it carried on in his death."

Silence.

"You probably think I'm daft. I don't blame you. But, this… this is my reality."

It was all very overwhelming. For one, Killian is claiming he can see the future.

Through his dead brother.

Second, she wasn't entirely certain how to take this information. By the way he was avoiding her gaze, he was obviously nervous about the reaction. Which made it a little too real for her.

 _He saw something._

"What did you see?" she noticed him stiffen and clutch the lip of the desk, eyes burning holes into the floor. "Jones?"

 _Your death. My death. The fucking Crocodile succeeding in his task._

"Something that I _will_ _not_ allow to happen." By his tone, the conversation was done. He wanted to move past it and enjoy the rest of the evening. What evening they had left. "Drink?"

"Is rum your solution to everything?"

"It certainly doesn't hurt."

* * *

"I was 18 at the time." Killian passed the bottle over to Emma as he slumped against his headboard. "I didn't fully understand what they were at first. Thought I'd gone mad."

Raising the bottle to her lips, she focused her attention on her crisscrossed feet.

 _He's had these visions for ten years?_

"Do they happen a lot?"

His head fell to the side to face her, "Not as often as you'd think. I can go months without getting one." he took the bottle back and raised it to his lips. "They only seem to happen in times of peril. Like a... life lesson to sail me in the right direction." he took a mouthful of the amber liquid and passed it back.

"What direction was he trying to sail you in tonight?" she asked curiously.

He moved his head back to stare at the opposite wall, features filling with regret. "The direction my brother always sends me. The path that I should have stayed on after he died. He wants me to be an honorable man. To be the man that I, myself, would be proud of. It's just not that simple."

"What's not simple about it? What could you have done that's so horrific that you think you're unworthy of being an honorable man?"

"I've done many horrible things in my time, love. None of which can be easily forgiven."

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past. It's how you move forward that counts." she watched as his eyes slowly fell closed, jaw muscles tensing. "The man sitting here-" she placed the bottle between her thighs before reaching to take his left hand loosely, "The man I see… i'm very proud of. I see a man who puts others before himself. A man who cares deeply for what he believes in. You fight for what matters to you and you don't give up until you succeed. You love unconditionally and I envy that about you. No matter what, Killian, I will _always_ choose to see the good in you. Even when you can't. Look, whatever you did before, you're not that person anymore. It's not going to change anything between us."

His fingers laced with hers as his head fell to the left again, meeting her gaze. "That's quite a lot of faith you're putting on me, Swan."

"I know. We have to start somewhere, right?"

He gave a ghost of a smile at her words. "Aye, that we do."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they began to pass the bottle between them, once more. The fact that Emma believes in him without questioning the things he's done shows that perhaps she _will_ forgive him. If he can make this right, they would have a fighting chance. That is, if she doesn't hate him for lying. For keeping secrets.

 _Honorable. You have to be honorable. That doesn't entail lying to your girlfriend._ _Start small…_

Killian slid off the bed and knelt down to dig under his mattress. He furrowed his brows and bit down on his lip as he searched for the sketchpad. Emma looked to him curiously as he straightened, tossing the book next to her. "I didn't come here on a whim. I didn't even know Storybrooke existed. Let alone that it was in Maine. What I _did_ know was that there was this _beautiful_ blonde lass that Liam was _quite_ insistent on showing me. Over and over again." he motioned to the sketchbook.

Emma raised a brow before slowly tearing her gaze from his, sliding the pad closer. She opened the cover, gasping softly. "These are of me…." grabbing the pad, she pulled it into her lap and began flipping through it. Page after page of _her_.

He started to walk around his room, more to calm his nerves than anything else. "Aye. Later, he gave me your name. Location. He wanted me to find you. I like to believe that he led me to my happiness. My _own_ new beginning, if you will. Perhaps even my happy ending…." Their eyes met briefly before they both continued on with what they were doing. "I was in a horrible situation, as I've stated before, when I went sailing that last time. I had lost _everything_ I had to the man I worked for. I lost my sense of worth. My will to keep going. My love. My _self_. Not to mention my whole family years beforehand. I had nothing. The only thing I had were these visions of you. The lass my brother would _not_ stop showing me."

Emma looked up when she noticed him coming closer. He sat down on the bed, gently moving the sketchbook away and taking the bottle to set on the nightstand. "You knew who I was? This whole time?"

"Yes and no. I knew _of_ you. But, I didn't know _you._ " he softly explained. "I certainly didn't know how big of a stubborn arse you can be. You could give my brother a run for his money, that's for certain. Or, how well you can keep me on my toes. I didn't know the fact that your favorite meal was a grilled cheese with _extra_ cheese. Preferably paired with greasy onion rings. Or, that your comfort drink of choice is hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon. You love the feel of being safe, whether that is wrapped up in your favorite blanket, cocooned in the comforter or lying in my arms. You drool an awful lot in your sleep and you snore. It's adorable, Swan. Don't give me that face. You get a wrinkle right here-" his finger touched the center of her brow line, "whenever you're trying to process anything. You have quite the obsession with leather jackets and tight pants, quite like meself. Another similarity is your love of the sea. It calms you. Centers you. That's why you took the apartment and need to sleep with the doors open. And you love wearing your hair down, because you can hide behind it when things get too real. You love running away from your problems instead of fighting them head on. It takes a lot to get you to smile, but when you do it's one of your best features aside from your eyes. Your favorite flower are buttercups. They grow in that clearing you took me to. They remind you of the carefree days you spent with your parents during your childhood. You thought I didn't notice you picking at them in between shots, but I did. I notice quite a bit about you, Emma. Like right now, you have that little wrinkle in your forehead. Your eyes are searching for any sign of a lie and you won't find one. All you'll find is a man pouring his heart out to the woman he loves. I think i've loved you for quite some time. I don't expect you to return the same feelings, that's not why I'm telling you this. I just want you to know how I feel."

Emma was _completely_ dumbfounded. He just called her out on all of her shit and knew things about her that perhaps _she_ didn't even know about her own damn self.

 _He loves me._ All _of me._

She was completely speechless and didn't have any fucking clue how she could top _that_ when the time came.

 _Definitely the smooth talker._

"Killian-" her voice was a breathy whisper. "I don't know what to say."

"Then don't speak." His eyes dropped to her lips as she moved closer. Noses brushed together before the gentle touch of lips. It was a soft, sweet gesture. "I love you." he whispered, placing his forehead against hers.

Her eyes fell closed as a small grin appeared on her face. "Hold me?"

"As you wish."

Killian gently pushed the hair from Emma's face as she slept. She was tangled around him in her usual way. Her right hand held onto the side of his shirt to keep him from moving, not that he would leave her anyway.

Sleep wasn't coming easy for him which is why he resorted in memorizing everything about this moment. There were no promises of tomorrow let alone a month from now. He had to make the best of each moment with her.

The scene his brother had shown him wasn't what he had expected. This was going to be a fight. The Crocodile wasn't going to make any of this easy. Why would he? The more fucked up the better. So far he hadn't made any attempt to leave New York. His men have made sure of that.

Someone _will_ have to make their move eventually.

But for now, he was content in having his shirt used as a drool rag.

* * *

 _4 chapters left!_


	16. Chapter 16

"Admit it, Swan." Killian was smiling from ear to ear as he looked down at Emma. "You love it."

She sighed folding her arms, as she leaned back against the cushions. "I mean, I wouldn't have chosen the _color_ , but-" she squealed out a laugh when Killian jumped on top of her, biting her neck playfully. "Alright! Alright! I actually _do_ love the damn couch." she admitted with a smile. Her eyes met his as her fingers brushed aside the hair that had fallen into his eyes.

"And-?" he urged with a raised brow and teasing smirk.

"And the completely ridiculous oversized matching chair."

"And-?"

"And the equally as ridiculous ottoman."

"And-?"

"Thank you. I expected to hate it and you proved me wrong."

His brows shot up in surprise. "Are you _actually_ admitting that I was right? What a wonderful development this is!" he chuckled when she pinched his side before leaning down to claim her lips with his in a brief encounter. "We still need to break them in, you know." His hooded gaze and suggestive tone was laced with his desire.

"Mmm… and how do you expect we do that?" her eyes drifted shut at the feel of his lips against her neck. "Any other ideas?" A small gasp escaped her mouth when he nipped at her flesh. "Getting better." she whispered. His head lowered down her torso to kiss the exposed skin peeking out from under her shirt. "Okay, now I see where you're coming from."

Their clothes were soon thrown half-heartedly around the newly furnished living room. Killian's head rested between her thighs making quick work of her first orgasm. Emma's back arched off of the couch while her fingers pulled at his hair. "Oh fuck…!"

A soft growl came from the back of his throat at the feel of the tug on his hair. He flipped her over, biting her ass as he did so, before moving to speak low in her ear. "On your knees." He nipped her earlobe while his hands simultaneously roamed her smooth skin.

Getting to his feet, he took himself in hand giving a few slow pumps as he came to stand in front of her. A devious smile was spread across his face, "You know what to do."

She gave a soft smirk, looking at up him through her lashes, as her hand replaced his. He shuffled closer as her head moved forward and gave his tip one small lick. A smile spread across her face at the harsh sigh he gave. Lifting his shaft, she ran a line from the base, to his tip, before enveloping his length in her mouth. Up and down she went.

"Fuck, Emma…" He took her hair in his hands, giving the strands a firm tug, causing her to release him with a pop. They shared a hungry gaze before he pulled on her hair again, making her rise up to meet his lips. Tongues and teeth and tangy tastes made up the kiss.

Her hair was still wrapped around his hand when he pulled on it again allowing her neck to be fully displayed. He began biting and sucking the soft flesh, leaving a dark mark in his wake. "Over here. Bend down."

She loved the way he always ordered her to do what he wanted. It was extremely arousing and she loved to please him. He was always so gentle and caring and attentive outside of the bedroom, but once the clothes came off….

"Oh, fuck!" she whimpered. He had her bent over the ottoman, propping herself up with her elbows. The angle was perfect. Whimpers and moans and slapping skin made up their usual love making soundtrack. "Keep going! Oh, faster-" she was so close already.

Killian pulled on her hair as his hips moved faster. "Always so wet." he grunted. "So eager for me." His free hand was busy trailing up and down her back before he let go of her hair altogether. He slowed slightly to nudge her feet closer together before taking her hips in hand and adjusting his position accordingly. He guided them back and forth in pace with his thrusts, feeling himself building. "Are you close?"

Her head was buried in her arms when she let out a whimpered, "Yes." she screamed out feeling his pace quicken again. She could feel every inch of him. He had positioned her so that she was tighter around him and was able to hit that sensitive spot again and again. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! Killian!" her eyes were squeezed shut and her nails dug into her palms while screaming out in ecstasy. A few more thrusts and Killian met the same fate.

Emma's legs gave out from underneath of her and Killian fell back into the sectional. Both were completely out of breath and unable to move. He gazed at the beauty in front of him, her sex dripping with their arousal, and smiled happily to himself. It's been about two weeks since he admitted his love for this woman and it's only caused them to grow closer. She's been close to saying the words, but they've never really fully developed. It's always a mix of 'I love- this grilled cheese' or 'I love you- r jacket'. It doesn't bother him though. He'll take her small indications over nothing.

"We failed." she mumbled into the ottoman.

He looked to her strangely as she stay bent over and unmoving. "Were you not just participating in the same event I was? I don't think we failed."

She pointed over to the oversized chair, face still buried in the fabric. "We forgot one." she giggled hearing his warm laugh fill the room.

"You know, Swan. You're quite fetching at this angle." his tongue ran along his lower lip before biting down gently. He growled low when she shook her ass in front of him. "Chair. Now."

* * *

"Caldwell went missing." Smee murmured across the booth. "Sometime last evening."

He called it. He knew the fucker would eventually retreat to the Crocodile. Luckily, he never showed up to _any_ of the damn 'meetings' so he had nothing to exchange for safe harbor. Either he'd get his head ripped off, or Killian will shoot him right between the eyes if he even attempted to come back. There will be no tolerance for mutiny on his team.

Raising his mug to his lips, his eyes wandered over to Emma a few tables away. A smug smile spread across his face when she purposely turned her back to him, hiding her own.

"Gold is still in New York. We're still not entirely sure why he's still waiting." Aikens added.

Killian placed his mug back down on the table, his smile fading, and reluctantly pulled his gaze away from Emma. "You see, he wants _me_ to make the move. To be the love sick puppy dog he's hoping for. I've seen Douglas around Storybrooke. He thinks he's being inconspicuous, but he can't hide from _me._ If I leave, Douglas moves in. If I stay, he risks losing one of his best men… aside from meself. So, if he wants to sit at the surface of the water, I'll stay further up the beach protecting my bird." he explained.

The two men in front of him nodded in understanding. They knew better than to mistrust his judgment. He's rarely ever been wrong about other missions. He's observant and learns the workings of the marks he goes after. He's had 10 years to learn the habits of this Crocodile and he's pretty certain of his plan.

"Sir?" Smee asked quietly. "What will happen when he pursues us?"

Killian's jaw began to tick before leaning dangerously close to the two of them, as much as the table would allow, and beckoned them forward. "This is _my_ fight and mine alone. I _will_ _not_ ask you lads to die for me. I should have never brought you two into it. Not this far. You stand down-"

"Sir, we're not leaving you." Smee cut in.

Aikens glanced to Smee before looking back to Killian. "Boss, you can't be serious?"

He knocked on the table lightly before pushing away. "Those are my orders."

Smee and Aikens exchanged glances before looking back to the man before them. Aikens spoke first. "We're not allowing you to do this on your own, Hook. That's suicide."

"It's my own actions that have caused all of this. My actions and mine alone. I will not ask you-"

"You don't need to ask, boss. We're with you, no matter what the cost."

Killian's eyes closed in thought. His men were certainly loyal and would fight without question, but was it worth risking their lives for his own vengeance?

"Smee." his eyes opened again, as he pointed a lazy finger at the man. "I need you to stay with Emma, protect her. She trusts you. Aikens and I will go in together when the time comes, but I need to know that she will be taken care of. If _anything_ were to happen, Smee. _Please,_ take care of her."

His hand went to pull his stocking cap off, nodding slowly. "It will be done, sir."

It felt as if a small weight lifted from his shoulders. One problem will be taken care of if the worst were to arise. He hopes that he will walk away with his life, but things don't always go to plan.

"You seemed tense over here, so I brought you guys some pie. Your favorites! Blueberry for you-" Emma placed a plate in front of Aikens before placing another in front of Killian. "Chocolate silk for you-" she smiled at the loving look he gave her before picking up his fork. "And-"

Smee turned up his nose in disgust, "Not pie I hope?"

"I know you better than that…." she stated, sliding a piece of cheesecake in front of him, smiling at his excitement. "Enjoy boys."

Killian poked at his pie as he watched her walk off.

 _I'm sorry, my love. I'll do everything in my power to fix this._

Smee looked up from his cheesecake and gave him a heartfelt look. "She'll be in fine hands, sir. But you better make it back to her. Aye?"

He cleared his throat feeling more than a bit awkward talking about his love life with these two men. "Aye. Now eat your cheesecake and shut up."

* * *

Emma was sprawled out on the ottoman with her head tilted to the side. Her eyes were narrowed and her face was scrunched. "Nope. Take it off."

Killian sighed and took the picture from the wall before giving her an irritated look. "You know, lass? I'm beginning to think you're having me do this for the hell of it."

A slow smirk spread across her face as she sat up. "Only about four pictures ago." she laughed at the exasperated look and shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for loving the view."

"Can't blame the view for loving that girl." he stepped down from the couch, picture in hand and bent down to meet her lips in a loving exchange. "At least your swan is finally on display." They had finally run across a frame to fit the drawing he had given her and was now proudly hanging from the wall in her bedroom.

She hummed happily before kissing him again. "Oh! Before I forget. Ruby mentioned something about a girls spa weekend? I don't know if I'm going to go, but _evidently_ her doctor boyfriend thing-"

"Doctor boyfriend thing?" he chuckled, making his way towards the kitchen. "Quite the label."

Emma rolled her eyes, speaking louder for him to here. "Yeah. Shut up. Anyway… I guess he got these reservations for her and two friends. Have any guesses on who the _lucky friends_ are?"

There were sounds of glass clinking together as he called out, "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say… you? And Belle?"

"Yay us, right? I mean… can you just imagine me sitting in a fluffy robe with cucumbers on my eyes and crap smeared on my face?"

Killian came back with two wine glasses and a devilishly handsome smile spread across his face. "No. But I can imagine you wearing nothing with something else smeared on your face and my cucumber-"

"Oh my gods, Killian!" she blushed a deep scarlet as she took the glass from him.

"You asked." he replied simply, taking a seat on the sectional in front of her.

She immediately put her feet in his lap, taking a sip of the wine. "Mmm. Peaches. From our first date." His free hand wrapped around one of her feet, rubbing his thumb along the pad of it. "Careful. A girl could get used to this."

"Only if I'm lucky."

"You're plenty lucky." she took his glass from his hand when he passed it and started a proper foot massage. "Screw the spa. I'm staying home."

He chuckled and looked up at her, thumbs still gliding over the bottoms of her feet and ankles. "Where precisely is this place?"

"I don't know. A few hours away in Vermont in the mountains somewhere. I guess Maine just isn't good enough for Dr. Whale."

 _Vermont. 6 hours away from New York. He wouldn't attempt anything, would he?_

"Go. Be with your friends."

 _Then I can pursue this knowing you're gone and safe. End it by the time you get back._

"Are you sure? I mean, what will you do all weekend?"

His thumbs stopped as he gave a look of suspicion. "Are you implying that I'm rendered useless when my love is gone?"

"No. I'm implying that I happen to be your favorite pass time." she titled the glass to her lips watching his smirk. His thumbs began to move again while he nodded. "See where I'm coming from?"

"Aye. That I do. But, I'm also gathering that perhaps _you_ are the one who won't know what to do with yourself?"

"It's not like I rely on your company." she countered.

"I didn't say that. Just stating the obvious."

"That I've become some clingy girlfriend who would prefer it if her boyfriend were by her side at all times?"

"Didn't say that either."

"Then what _are_ you saying?" she was beginning to become annoyed at the vagueness.

"All I'm saying is that just _maybe_ you'll miss me more than you're putting off. And you feel it necessary to attack me because you don't want to admit it." he looked up through his lashes before looking back to her feet. "I'll miss you, too, Emma. More than you'll ever know."

"Oh." was all that managed to come from her mouth. _Damn him and his knowing ability to read me!_ "Maybe I will."

He scoffed. "Maybe?"

She pulled her feet from his lap and passed the glass back to him as she stood. Putting one knee on one side of him, she moved to straddle his lap and took a deep breath. His hand instinctively went to rest on her thigh while his head fell back into the cushion so he could look to her properly. "I _am_ going to miss you. A lot. More than a lot. This will be the longest we've been apart in a very long time. So, you can't blame me for being a little apprehensive. What if I fall off the side of the mountain and you won't be there to catch me?" she teased.

"Swan, I'm pretty sure that won't happen."

"But if it _does_?"

"It won't. You'll go and have fun. I'm only a call away if you need me."

"You'll also be like 7 hours away." she muttered.

"It's only for the weekend, love."

"I know."

"Why so sad?"

"It's nothing." she kissed his lips and climbed off his lap while downing the rest of the wine. "I guess I should go pack."

He watched as she slowly made her way across the room and turn to go down the hall. He let her go knowing that it was best to let her be. She'd come around to it eventually, letting him in. Swirling the liquid in his glass before downing it one go, his thoughts got the best of him.

He _should_ leave her alone. But, he won't.

"Emma?" he knocked lightly on the door before entering. Her suitcase was already open and a few things were shoved inside. She froze at her dresser, a few pairs of jeans in her hands. "Pence for your thoughts, love?"

"I told you. It's nothing." she deflected making her way back over to the bed.

"It has to be something if you're beginning to avoid it."

"I'm not _avoiding_ anything." she angrily threw the jeans in the suitcase before spinning around.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

"Nothing!" she started towards the dresser but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back in front of him. "What?"

"What. Is. Wrong?" he asked slowly.

"Fine! You want to know? I'm a little upset that you're not even a _little_ bit sad that I'm leaving. You're practically pushing me out the damn door! I'm going to _Vermont_!" she yelled.

His brow raised and he released her arm. "Are you being serious, Swan?"

"Extremely, _Jones._ "

"You're this emotional because you think I _want_ you to leave? Emma, it's quite the opposite. I don't want you to go anywhere. But, you deserve it. You deserve a weekend away with your friends. Go have time for yourself. You don't need to worry about me. I'll still be here when you get back." his eyes narrowed at a thought. "This… this is something else." he knew he was right when she averted her gaze. "Why else are you so apprehensive about leaving?"

Silence.

He released a humorless laugh, biting down on his lip and rubbing the back of his ear. "Swan? Do you honestly think that I would cheat on you?" he noticed her swallow hard before going back over to her dresser. "Have I given you any reason to mistrust me? Please, love. Inform me if I have."

She shrugged, slowly turning around to look towards his direction. "No." she replied softly.

"So, why is this an issue? I would _never_."

"I know. I _think_ I know? I don't know... " she leaned against the dresser, her shoulders slouched. "It's something I need to get over. To work through. Just another mess Neal left for me to clean up."

"And we'll work through it, together." He was standing in front of her now, cupping her face in his hands. "I love _you_ , Emma. There is no one else. Even if you go and fall off that mountain. I'll be a lonely man for the rest of my days." he earned himself a small laugh and gave her a reassuring kiss. He moved to pull her into his body, wrapping her in the comfort of his arms. "Just… don't actually go and fall off the mountain, aye?"

Emma nestled her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Aye." she mimicked. "Killian?"

"What is it, my love?"

"I think I'm ready to say it." she whispered.

"Say what?" he asked confused, but hopeful.

"That I-" her chest tightened and her stomach was lurching. "love… your compassion." she felt him deflate in her arms and sighed inwardly.

 _Chickened out again…._

A kiss was placed to the crown of her head as his nose buried into her hair. "And you will _always_ have it."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer**_ _ **:**_ …..

 _ **A/N**_ _ **:**_ all I have to say is… ROAD TRIP!

Also.. violence is present from the end of this chapter until the end.

* * *

Killian and Emma had arrived at Dr. Whale's estate only a few short moments ago. They were late, but, he couldn't help that she wanted to show him how much she was going to miss him.

Three different times.

He and Will Scarlet were standing in silence with their arms folded, as they gaped at the stretch limousine parked outside of Victor's.

"Spares no expense, that one." Will muttered.

"Is it even practical to drive a limousine all that way?" Killian asked.

"I s'pose it is when you're a doctor, yeah?"

"How much money could he possibly make in this bloody town? No one ever gets hurt!"

"They do when someone punches 'em in the face." Will gave him a sideways glance before turning around, hearing Belle call out.

"Will! Can you believe it? A fancy spa _and_ a limo?" by the over excitement in her voice, it seemed as though the weekend had already started inside.

"Best. Weekend. _Ever_!" Ruby squealed as she ran down the stairs.

Oh yes. Drinks had definitely been consumed.

Will groaned as the girls ran passed them and nudged Killian's arm. "We're gonna hafta work hard to top this, aren't we?"

" _You_ might." he slapped him on the back before making his way over to a somber looking Emma, perched atop her luggage. "We've talked about this, love." he warned. "We even wrestled in the sheets and then talked some more…."

Emma rolled her eyes and stood from her rollaway suitcase. " _I know_. I know. I'm trying."

He wrapped his arms around her, planting a kiss upon her welcoming lips. "Have fun, Swan. Drink some champagne. Get a massage or two. Maybe even gossip about how devilishly handsome and charming I am. Just don't be like this all weekend."

A soft laugh was his reward before the smile fell from her face. "I'm going to miss you." she whispered, closing her eyes at the feel of his forehead against hers.

"And I you."

They shared a passionate kiss before Ruby mentioned that they were ready to take off. "I love you. Be safe. Call me when you arrive."

He placed a quick peck to her lips before she replied. "I will. Promise." Another few loving exchanges. "I should really get going." she whispered against his lips.

"That you should." A few more pecks. "Have everything you need?"

"Aside from you? Yes." More sweet kisses.

"OH MY GODS! EMMA!" Ruby yelled from inside of the limo. "I'M SURE YOU GUYS DID _PLENTY_ OF THAT EARLIER! COME! ON!"

"I'd better go before the wolves ascend." Emma slowly pulled herself from his arms, giving him a small, sad smile as she walked off.

 _She'll be safe._

 _She'll have fun._

 _She's with her friends._

 _There's a driver._

 _Nothing will go wrong._

He gave her a small smile and a slight wave of a gesture as she climbed into the extravagant vehicle.

 _She'll be fine._

 _She'll be okay._

 _There's no stopping it._

His eyes closed, and his jaw tightened, as the car vanished against the horizon.

Game time.

 _It's time to skin a Crocodile._

* * *

William Smee was scurrying about the living room, situating ammunition and sorting through bags.

Adam Aikens busied himself with putting the weapons together and making sure everything was clean to avoid jamming.

And Killian was in his study looking over maps of New York. He had absolutely _no_ clue where his brother was showing him. There were some old warehouses scattered about, maybe one of those would be it?

He was hoping that one, little, detail from his visions would change.

The fact that Emma would be anywhere _but_ with Gold. She was safe. She was on her way to Vermont. She was with her friends.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Sir?" the stocky man appeared in the doorway, ringing his hat in his hands.

"What is it, Smee?" he asked, not taking his eyes from the papers sprawled out across the desk

"Everything is ready. We can depart."

Killian rolled up the maps, a few of his sketches, tucked the picture of him and Liam into the breast pocket of his jacket and left the room. "Let's go. No time to waste."

"Sir?" Smee cleared his throat and twisted the red fabric in his hands. "Um-"

He sighed heavily, turning around. "What the devil is it, Smee?"

He stumbled over his words for a moment, before he gathered his bearings and blurted out, "Who's riding shotgun?"

His head fell back, growling out in frustration. "Shoot it out for all I care." he muttered. "I haven't the time to play referee." he adjusted the maps in his hands as he turned to run down the stairs. "Let's go. Get it all in the rental." he made it down the front stairs of his porch before stopping short at the sight of Mary Margaret.

 _Shit._

"Oh! Are you leaving for the weekend, too? I knew Emma was going on that girl's trip…but I didn't think you'd-" she peered behind him as the men shuffled out with duffle bags and luggage.

 _Double shit._

"Erm, yeah. We're going hunting for the weekend. We actually have an awfully long pursuit ahead of us." he stepped down from his porch, giving her a warm smile. "I don't mean to be rude, but we really must be off."

"Oh! Oh, no. I'm sorry! I was just coming over to see if you wanted some muffins? Freshly baked." she offered with a smile.

"Muffins?" Aikens asked. "I want muffins!"

Killian sighed, dropping his head forward. "Skip out on breakfast, did we, Adam?" he asked through clenched teeth. "Aye. I guess we'll be taking some muffins with us. Thank you." he smiled falsely.

"Great! Be back in a flash!" she ran off across the yard and Killian's smile fell instantly, shooting Aikens a threatening look. "We're going to go skin ourselves a Crocodile and you want to stop for muffins? What a great use of our time!"

"They're homemade, boss. It's a seven hour drive. I get hungry."

"You're extremely fucking lucky we're out in the open or I'd shoot you right here." He growled.

They were all leaning against the rented SUV when Mary Margaret came back out with a basket full of muffins. "Here you are. Still warm. Anything else you boys need? Water? Soda?"

"Nope. No, we got it. Thank you, milady, but we best be off."

"Have fun! Maybe next time I'll tag along with you boys. Show you how it's really done! I'm extremely lethal with a bow." Mary Margaret smiled warmly as she mimicked the pulling action of the weapon.

"Aye, next time!" Killian hurried into the driver's seat of his car and sighed in annoyance at the sight of Aikens and Smee in the rear view mirror. They were pushing each other over who gets shotgun in his car versus who drove the rental. "Fucking morons. I'm working with bloody fucking morons."

* * *

 **~15 minutes on the road~**

"I swear to fucking gods, Aikens. Chew with your mouth _closed_! I'm not going to sit here for seven hours listening to you chomp." Killian rubbed his forehead, gripping the leather of the steering wheel.

"Sorry." he mumbled around the bakery.

 **~half hour later~**

"Pick a bloody station!"

"Well, it's not _my_ bloody fault that all the preset stations are shit." Aikens replied. "Someone should have better taste in music." he mumbled under his breath.

"I'll cut off your hand if you don't stop messing with me dials." he warned.

 **~20 minutes later~**

"Muffin?" Aikens asked, shoving the bakery in Killian's face with a sly grin. "They're blueberry. Very tasty."

"No, Adam. I don't want a bloody muffin. I want to get to New York without _you_ pestering me every 15 fucking minutes."

"I think you need a muffin. You're hangry."

Killian slowly turned his head to meet the innocent gaze of one Adam Aikens. "What in the blazes is _hangry_?"

"Angry because you're hungry. Muffin?" he shoved it back in his face as Killian clenched his jaw.

He snatched the muffin from his hand and whipped it in his general direction. "How's that for _hangry_?!"

Adam raised his hands in surrender and settled back into his seat. "Could've just said no." he muttered.

"I'll fucking shoot you, I swear."

 **~45 minutes later~**

"Bloody hell."

"We have nearly five and a half more hours, boss. You can't expect me _not_ to ask."

He sighed heavily. "Blue. My favorite color is blue. Would you like to braid each other's hair, next? Or can we go back to silence?" he asked with a bite.

"Mines green. If you were wonderin'." he mumbled.

"Shut up, Adam."

 **~1 hour later~**

The silence was quite welcoming after the first two hours. But, he couldn't stop his mind from traveling to Emma. He was quite fidgety in the driver's seat and Adam seemed to notice. The slender man cleared his throat and leaned against the center console.

"Call her. You won't stop until you do."

He was right, of course. He wouldn't stop until he knew she was okay. One phone call wasn't going to stop the anxiety he felt, though. Nothing will. Not until she's back home and safe in his arms. He licked his lips and shook his head. "No. I'm not going to start bothering her. This is her weekend with her friends."

"Suit yourself, boss."

Four minutes passed before he snatched up his phone and dialed her number. "Not a word." he threatened.

The phone rang over the speakers of his car before screams took its place. "Hello?" Emma half yelled, half laughed over the sounds of music. "Can you hear me?"

A smile immediately plagued his features at the sound of her voice. "Having fun, my love?"

"She's _soooo_ having fun!" Ruby chimed in. There was a rustle and giggles before Ruby's laughs were filling the car. "She won't shut up about you and it's _super_ annoying."

" _Hey!"_ Emma yelled from somewhere in the car.

More rustling, more giggles. "Sorry about that. We're on our third bottle of champagne."

"I'll let you be, then."

"NO!" she yelled before quickly stuttering over her words. "I mean… i'm not… i'm glad you called."

"I made him! He's completely miserable without you, milady." Adam added in. Killian shot him a look before checking the rearview for Smee, and staring straight ahead again.

" _That's so romantic!"_ Belle called out. " _I wish Will would do that…."_

"So, anyway," Emma began. "What's up?"

Killian glanced at Adam, who was staring at him with a grin from ear to ear, before readjusting his position in his seat. "Just me being selfish."

"Selfish how?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice…. And to be certain that you know how much I love you."

" _Can you guys get any more fucking cute?! I mean, come on!"_ Ruby squealed.

"I do. Is everything okay?"

"Right as rain, love." he lied. "I'll let you get back to it, then."

" _I gotta pee!"_ Belle hollered.

" _Me too."_

"Well, I guess we're stopping for a pee break." Emma fell quiet for moment before whispering, "I miss you."

"And I you, darling. Have fun. I love you.".

"I know. Bye."

The call disconnected.

* * *

Luckily, after the phone call, Aikens stayed relatively quiet. They ended up in some parking lot, looking over the maps in the SUV, after arriving in New York later that night. Killian was still trying to determine the whereabouts his brother had shown him, when he noticed the time. It was nearly ten o'clock and still no phone call from Emma. She could be sleeping. Not too farfetched by the sounds of how inebriated everyone was just a few hours ago. That's what he kept his mind on.

 _She's sleeping. She'll call in the morning._

"We could always tail him?" Aikens mentioned as he pointed to a spot on the map. "That's where he's located. Been seen in and out of there for weeks now."

Smee, Aikens and Caldwell (before he traded sides) would take turns on staking out the Crocodile. Then, when time to trade duties, they would come to Killian with new developments (which were rare) and he would plan his moves accordingly. Now he was here. So fucking close to the reptile. He glanced over to Aikens and gave a nod. "Show me the way."

And this is where he stands. Collar popped, hands shoved in his pockets, staring up at the building holding rundown apartments. There was an urge to do this now. To get it over with so he could go home and wait for Emma. There were just too many factors involved. He didn't know which room was his and he certainly wasn't going in blind. That's how you get killed.

Killian backed away from the building, and began heading down the street, blending in with the city.

 _Tomorrow._

* * *

"Where is he?" Killian muttered into the spout of his Starbucks coffee cup. "All of your reports have stated between 7 and 9 in this very shop. So where is he?" His nerves were getting the better of him. He's not usually this on edge on a job, but then again, Emma's life was never on the line before.

Aikens shifted in his seat, as he scanned the street from the java shop window. "We still have ten minutes, Hook."

A glare was shot in Aikens direction at the use of his moniker. He was technically Hook on the field, so he couldn't say much about the matter. He moved to take another sip from the spout, when he happened to glance up setting his sights on the traitor.

Killian was out of his seat within seconds, Aikens trailing behind him. He pushed the door open and slowly turned to his left, a smug smile on his face. "Caldwell! Fancy seeing you here." he greeted in false amusement.

The man's face went white and his features fell, as he forced out his recognition. "Hook-"

"Glad to see you still know my name. But, eh…" he stepped closer, waving a hand in the air. "Seems you've forgotten who you work for." he tilted his head to the side, sliding his hands in his pockets. "Let's have a little chat, yeah?" He turned on his heel and began walking off. "I trust you'll follow, Ben. Don't make me chase after you, as well."

Aikens stepped behind Caldwell, giving him a shove. "Best be doin' what he says. He's not in the mood, today."

* * *

Hooks fist met skin and bone time and time again, before Aikens had to pry him off. They were in a back alley, way behind some old buildings, and away from prying eyes. He pulled roughly at his jacket as he placed his feet on either side of the man curled up on the ground. "I won't be asking again. Gold is where?" he was seething.

Grunts and coughs came from the wounded man following a weak laugh. "Like I'd tell you anything. Kill me. You'd be doin' me a favor anyhow." he explained weakly.

He could kill him. He _wanted_ to kill him. The traitor. But, the need for wanting answers was stronger. Rolling his eyes, he pulled the Mosquito from behind his back and pointed it at Ben. "See, that doesn't work for me. You have information that I want and I _will_ get it." He dug in the inside of his jacket to pull out the silencer. "How long do you think it'll take? Two shots? Perhaps, three?" he looked to Aikens, smiling deviously as he twisted the silencer into place.

The smile disappeared altogether, replaced with irritated rage as the first shot was fired. The opposite shoulder than his previous wound. A yell of immense agony followed.

"Come on, _mate_. I have all day and plenty of bullets." Hook spat. "Tell me what I want to know. Where is Gold? What is he planning?"

"Go to hell!"

Hook laughed darkly as he looked to Adam, running his tongue along his lower lip. "Gag him."

Another shot came from the petite pistol, landing in his knee. Caldwell's muffled screams were more than slightly satisfying as Killian finally got his vengeance. This whole process was a long time in the making, he just finally had an excuse to do it.

"Don't make me repeat meself. It's very tiring." he stared down at the man with a menacing smile, only to be given silence and nasty glares. "Still nothing?" He had to admit, he was impressed. He raised the pistol again when Aikens came forward, putting his mouth close to Hooks ear.

"He's not going to talk. We'll have to find another way."

He was right. This was a dead end. He'll have to pursue a different avenue.

He gave a heavy sigh and a small shrug. "I suppose the fun's over." he pointed the pistol between his eyes and was just about to pull the trigger when his phone rang.

 _Emma?_

He dropped the gun and pulled out the device.

 _Smee._

"What is it? I'm busy!" he snapped.

"It's Gold. I've found him. I followed Douglas to this creepy looking graveyard of a place."

A brow raised as he stepped back from Caldwell, turning his back to him. "Where?"

"Downey's Shipyard by the GPS, sir. It's part of the Mariners Harbor it seems. This place isn't very inviting. Very run down and covered in vegetation."

"Perfect for our Crocodile." he muttered. "Good work, Smee. Seems we'll be going home earlier than expected. Stand down. Wait until I arrive." he ended the call and looked to Aikens. "We have the location."

Caldwell laughed weakly around the gag, laying his head back against the pavement. Killian's jaw clenched at the action. He walked over and pulled the glove from the man's mouth watching his actions warily. "You fell for it." he wheezed.

"Fell for what?" He spat.

"Me."

His brows furrowed in confusion. _Him?_ Come to think of it, it was McMillan who always came for the coffee in the reports. Caldwell came today. "Fuck-" his shoulders slouched as he slowly turned from Ben. Gold knew he wouldn't miss a chance to punish a traitor and he fell for it. "Fucking shite!" he yelled out this time, throwing the glove angrily to the ground. Killian began pacing, seething at the trickery, as Aikens stepped forward.

"What's his plan? Why would he send you?" Adam asked.

"Time." he whispered out in a weak smile.

"Time for what?" Hook asked angrily. "What the fuck does he need time for?! He's spent a good fucking three months waiting!"

"To get… the blonde… her… annoying friends."

Hook spun back around and was on the man within seconds, shoving the pistol into his cheek. "You're lying! He doesn't- he can't!" by the look in the man's eye, it was true.

Gold had Emma and he had basically placed the bird in the infested waters for him.

"When?" he asked menacingly.

The only response he received was a bloody smile before the bullet pierced through his skull. Hook's jaw ticked as he stared blankly at the ground. He fell to the side of the body, dropping his gun as his head fell into his hands. History was repeating itself.

He was completely numb.

"Boss?" Adam spoke softly. "We'll find her."

His hands fell from his face and his tongue darted from his mouth, feeling every inch of his lips as he thought. He bit down on his lower lip as a puff of air escaped. How could he have been so daft? He should have known better than to trust she'd be safe.

With the eyes around Storybrooke… he fucked up. He made the mistake. As with Milah, he left her alone and she met her fate.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a flask, popping the top and downing half the container. He let out a breath, staring hard at the spot ahead of him.

"Hook?"

His jaw ticked a few times, but eventually his piercing blue eyes met those of Aikens. "Let's go."


	18. Chapter 18

It took quite some time to navigate to the coordinates Smee had given them. It also didn't help that they made a pit stop to one of the nearest liquor stores for a bottle of rum. Which, was already nearly half gone.

Killian was in the passenger seat of his Acura NSX while Adam maneuvered through the old winding roads. Guns were being loaded, scopes were being checked and headphones were being pushed into his ears. Music helped him concentrate in these times. He didn't focus too much on the task at hand that way. He certainly welcomed any distractions, now.

And rum.

He pulled the left ear bud from his ear when he felt a tap on his arm. "I know this isn't the right time for this but, eh… you're car is a bloody beast."

"You're right, mate. Not the right time." he grabbed a hold of the bud to push back into his ear, but stopped when Aikens began to speak again.

"The plan?"

"There isn't one." he muttered, taking a swig from his flask. "Not anymore. No more plans. We kill anyone that gets in our way- and we get to Emma." he deadpanned, snapping the magazine into the sniper hold.

"Works for me."

Killian had them park a ways away as to not bring attention, not that it mattered. They were expected.

Smee was already running towards them when they exited the vehicle, speaking frantically about how McMillan carried Emma into one of the collapsed buildings. "I couldn't do anything, sir. I-"

He raised a hand to silence him before placing his sniper rifle snuggly against his shoulder. "Show me."

He rolled his head around and turned up the music on his phone as they proceeded. Aikens followed behind, his own gun held tightly in his hands as they walked the path. There was a swamp to their left with posts sticking up from the under the water. Old ships were lying in their graves. Weeds and overgrown grass covered the grounds as far as the eye could see. Tunnels were turned to dust and skeletons of buildings that once stood proudly, were collapsed onto themselves. The whole scene seemed surreal.

Everything was quiet, aside from the crunching of gravel and the music in his right ear. Something didn't seem right though, causing Killian to stop dead in his tracks. Adam hesitated, but stopped as well. Smee did the same as he adjusted the duffle on his shoulder. His eyes scanned the horizon, but found nothing. They were being watched. He could feel it. He also felt the air change, causing the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Shit." he whispered just before pushing Adam to his right. "Get down!"

There was only a second to spare before bullets started to fly. Killian darted for the cover of an old collapsed building, and Aikens and Smee found safety on the other side of the road. He clutched at the sniper in his hands before yanking the earbud from his ear, listening to the silence. It may have been quiet, but he wasn't stupid.

Finding a clearing to place the barrel of his gun, he put his eye to the scope and began scanning. The screen of bullets came from ahead of them, so that's where his focus lay. Slowly and carefully, he began moving the sniper.

Finally finding movement, he sat back on his heels and grimaced. There was absolutely no clear shot. He'd have to fish him out.

He shoved the right ear bud back into his ear and closed his eyes to focus. ' _Bleeding Out'_ by _Imagine Dragons_ vibrated his eardrum. "How fitting." he muttered, un-amused. Alternative Rock and anything else with likeness, was his go to for these types of situations. It pumped him up, giving him the energy needed to accomplish his job without remorse. He clicked the next button and smiled at the familiarity of the song. He pushed the other earbud into place enjoying _Alien Ant Farm_ 's rendition of ' _Smooth Criminal'._

His hand searched the ground and found a decently sized stone. His fingers wrapped around the rock and proceeded in throwing it over his shoulder towards the swamp. It was a rookie move, but he was desperate. His eye quickly went back to the scope and saw no movement.

 _Not gonna make this easy for me, are ya?_

He attempted again and failed.

Adam seemed to realize what Hook was attempting and turned towards Smee. He pulled the duffle from the stocky man's shoulders, whispering, "Stay here. Remember Hook's orders. We'll take care of the rest." he crouched down and slowly moved towards the end of the brick of an old tunnel. Hook was a few yards away, but he was quick. The quickest on his small team. Taking a few calming and collective breaths, he gathered himself before darting across the open field.

Killian saw the idiot running towards him and cursed under his breath. He took to the scope and aimed up his shot on- "Douglas." he smiled ominously as he pulled the trigger, watching the bullet fly through his skull, before he even had the chance to shoot at Aikens. "Never did like you." He muttered pulling the sniper from the small opening from the crack in the foundation.

He fell against the ground, pulling the left bud from his ear, meeting the sights of Adam and shook his head in disbelief. "You are a _bloody idiot_!"

Adam smiled, shrugging. "Anything for Emma, aye?"

He nodded with a smirk as he stood to his feet. "Aye." Having Aikens full support in this mission was refreshing to say the least.

Two down. Two to go.

His head bobbed to the music in his right ear as they cautiously moved forward. McMillan was shit with a sniper so they needn't worry about a far off attack. He was more of a physical attacker. But, favored daggers and pistols when needed.

"What happens when we find her?" Aikens asked softly.

Killian switched the buds from his right to his left ear and glanced in his direction. "Leave that to me. You take care of McMillan. I'll deal with Gold."

They walked through the weeds for quite some time without any other signs of a building. Emma wasn't in the one Douglas had been occupying, a brick tunnel of sorts, so he figured his visions were on the right track in that sense. He needed to find a building with an old wooden door and in somewhat of an architectural completion.

A pressure on his shoulder made him stop short.

Aikens took a few steps ahead before realizing that he had indeed stopped behind him. He looked around and gave an odd look. "There's nothing here, boss."

"No." he shook his head. "No, there's something." Killian corrected.

Aikens looked around and shook his own head in confusion. "I don't-"

"There." he had detached the scope from his sniper and found a building off in the distance towards their left. He quickly replaced the scope and handed the sniper to Aikens, taking the duffle from Adam's shoulder. As he rustled through it, he placed a dagger between his teeth and another in the holder of his boot. He straightened the holders underneath his leather jacket, double checking the presence of his pistols, and took a breath upon removing the dagger from his mouth.

Clapping a hand on Aikens shoulder, he gave it a squeeze as he ghosted a grin. "Whatever happens, Adam…. It was a pleasure getting to know you. You're a true friend and a rare talent. I can't imagine working with anyone better."

Adam smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You owe me a drink after this, boss. And I better be invited to the bloody wedding, yeah?"

A chuckle escaped from the back of throat as he nodded. "Aye."

* * *

Hook was pressed against the crippling wall when he looked to Aikens. He nodded once before crouching inside, one of his handguns stretched out in front of him. It looked just like his vision; wooden walls, chains hanging from the rafters, a lone chair in the middle of the floor. This was it. This is where he would find Emma.

He placed the left ear bud in, along with the right, and motioned for Adam to tail him. They crouched, walking on the balls of their feet, while keeping their weapons at the ready. ' _I Was Me'_ by _Imagine Dragons_ played in his ears.

His eyes closed for a moment, before opening and singing softly to himself as he carefully made his way through the room;

 _ **I don't recognize these eyes  
I don't recognize these hands  
Please believe me when I tell you  
That this is not who I am**_

 _ **If I recover, will you take me back again?**_  
 _ **I'm just another, trying hard to fit right in**_  
 _ **But the photographs remind me of who I used to be**_  
 _ **If only I could go back where I, I was me**_

 _ **I'll try hard to make this right**_  
 _ **I'll try hard to win this fight**_  
 _ **"One step at a time", they say**_  
 _ **"One trip, and you're back that way"**_

He spun around feeling a presence, pistol outstretched in front if his body, before spinning back to meet the face of Scott McMillan. A fist immediately met Killian's face, causing his head to fling back from the force. His gun lowered and his tongue darted out to flick against the corner of his mouth as he ripped the buds from his ears. "Nice to see you, again." he smiled menacingly before retaliating.

Everything was in slow motion. Hook turned the gun in his hand to beat the butt of it against his face, before grabbing his fist to shove his elbow into the burly man's nose. He dodged the dagger that Scott swung and backed off. "I'm touched you've missed me so…" he raised a brow and smirked as he got into position.

"Like a hole in the head." McMillin ran forward. Hook dodged the blade, throwing his arms over the man's shoulder to pull him down and shoved his knee forcefully into the man's gut. There was a grunt of pain, but it would take much more than that to stop a man like him.

Adam was ready to jump in, but Hook had him stand down. This needed to be him. This was his fight. He wiped the blood from his lip and smiled, arms outstretched. "That the best you got?"

"Piss off." McMillan twirled the dagger in his hand before lunging forward again. He swiped the blade at Hook watching as he leaned back to avoid the action. The blade came back for another go, but it was blocked again.

A brow raised and a smirk became clear as he taunted, "Are you going to surrender? Or shall I humiliate you further?" he grunted out as he blocked attack after attack. Fist after fist. The blade finally hit and tore through the leather of his jacket and Hook jumped back to examine it. "Are you bloody fucking serious?! _Now_ I'm pissed!"

He snatched one of the pistols from the holder and shot the man in his shoulder as McMillan ran forward. There was a gravelly yell, but it only seemed to slow him down. Hook quickly leaned to his left as McMillan's fist flew through the air. He grabbed the arm, and twisted it around his own body until he heard it crack. He kicked his knee hearing another sickening snap and quickly wrapped his arm around Scott's neck.

Squeezing his airway closed, he listened to the wheezes and struggle for breath as Adam came over and kneed him in the face, knocking him unconscious. Killian dropped his arm and McMillan's limp body before backing off, giving Adam a slight nod. "Stay here." He ordered before running to the back of the building.

A muffled scream grabbed his attention and he immediately jumped onto one of the old boxes, scaling the stack. He gripped the handle of the gun as he slowly made his way over to an opening in the wall, overcasting the next room. It looked very similar to the room he was occupying now.

Another scream, closer this time, made him immediately grab the wall separating the rooms and carefully pulled himself through. He needed to find Emma.

The echoes were throwing him off, but he'd manage. He _had_ to manage. Being as quiet as possible, he slid down the wall and landed on concrete. The same concrete as his recent vision.

Making his way forward, pistol outstretched before him, he heard another scream. Not pained as previously thought, but with acknowledgement. Wherever she was, Emma was trying to let someone know her whereabouts.

They quieted almost instantly. Either she'd given up, or the worst was happening to her right at this moment.

He started forward but felt the familiar pressure on his shoulder. Stopping, he took a moment to gather himself before feeling a nudge to his right. "Thank you, brother." he whispered before sprinting towards the next opening.

He was crouched now, pistol at the ready, as he quickly maneuvered through debris. He rounded a corner and stopped dead in his tracks. All of the air left his lungs and the color drained from his face.

A few meters away stood the man he's been searching for. Every calculated move, every plan, every death led him here to this moment. He could easily end it now, shoot him and get to Emma. But, the way Gold held his cane in both hands, standing tall and proud with just a hint of a smirk on his face and twinkle in his eye made him question it.

"Crocodile." he spat, raising the gun level.

"How nice of you to finally join us." he smirked with a tilt of his head.


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N**_ _ **:**_ Final chapter!

* * *

Killian gripped the handle of his pistol, focusing hard on the wispy haired man before him. He thought that when he'd left the United Kingdom, he'd be rid of him for good. He should have known better, and bloody well should have aimed his shot higher than his damn leg.

"I see you're getting around quite well." Hook motioned the gun to his leg before resting it back into position.

Gold flashed his teeth, while flexing his hands around the handle of his cane. "I manage."

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"All in due time."

"No more _time_!" he shouted. He dropped his left hand from the propped position and held the pistol firmly in his right. "No more games." he waved the gun around as he spoke, "No more waiting. Where is she?!"

Shrugging nonchalantly, he turned away and slowly limped off. "We need to discuss your duties to me, first."

"A job offer? This whole bloody thing was over a _job offer?_ Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked, more than just a tad bit irritated. He was _livid_.

"Well, I would've called." he sang innocently, slowly turning his head around. "But, I highly doubt you'd answer." he sneered.

Killian scoffed as he followed, lowering the pistol to his side. "I'm no longer working for you. I told you. I'm done!"

Gold chuckled, clearly amused as he turned his body around to face Killian. A smirk appeared on his face as he looked to the ground. "Yes, well… I think you'll change your mind. I have something you desperately want. And if you don't do as I say, she dies."

He grimaced, looking to his left and away from the beady stare he was now receiving. _Leverage_. That's all she ever was to him. He knew it from the beginning. He should have left her alone once he realized, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference. She was the only thing that mattered to him at this point, and somehow Gold knew that. "How did you find her? Me?"

"It's not hard to put together who to find, when you're off sketching pretty pictures of her in your little book, instead of doing your _job_." Gold explained sharply.

"But, how did you know where to look, mate? I left no trail."

"Ah, yes. But, as you've come to find out. People talk. It's a wonder how many secrets can be spilled when you have the proper _leverage_." he spoke with his hands as he danced his head from side to side. He always seemed to go overboard with the dramatics.

 _So, it was Caldwell this entire time…._

"Where's Emma? And her friends?" he asked stepping closer.

Gold waved a hand through the air dismissing his worries, "I can assure you, her friends are perfectly safe. I'm sure they're enjoying their 4 o'clock massage by now. They won't remember a thing, although-" he gave a small chuckle and looked down to the ground, "I can't say the same for her."

"I demand to see her. I demand to know she's safe. If you've so much as plucked a hair from her head-" he pointed the gun, his voice rising in anger, as he stormed forward, closing the space between them.

"Relax, dearie." he raised a hand in the air, as the other held his cane, tilting his head to the side. "She's safe." he assured, "But, you can't see her."

"Why in the fuck not?!" he threw his hands in the air and circled around in frustration, before pointing a finger in his face. "Enough of your games, Crocodile!" he shoved the pistol in his face now, heaving heavily. He was beyond pissed and thoroughly done with talking. Yet, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to pull the bloody trigger.

Gold held his gaze, an ever present smirk on his face. He didn't flinch. Didn't shy away. Didn't move. "We both know you don't have it in you. If you did, I'd already be dead."

The pistol shook in his hand, before dropping to his side once more. Killian was still breathing heavily as he held his gaze. "What do you want?" he finally asked through clenched teeth.

"Why, _you,_ of course!" he threw a hand up in the air, in dramatics, with a smile plastered on his face. "Did I not make it clear enough?"

"I told you, I'm done!" he growled. "I'm not going back to being that man anymore."

"Well, then _Hook_ -" he tilted his head in thought before snapping his fingers. "Who, i wonder, killed all of my best associates?" he asked impishly.

Killian disagreed, taking a step back, "That's different."

"Not by much, dearie. You still killed to get what you wanted." His voice was beginning to turn annoyingly singsongy. This man had two personalities. One was in control, in charge and powerful. The other seemed quite impish at times.

"No. I'm not going back. I'm not leaving her."

Gold scoffed. "Well let's just see about that, shall we?" he made a high pitched giggle before pushing over some debris with his cane, revealing Emma's motionless body on the ground. "Oops!" he giggled again with a dramatic shrug before twirling his cane around.

"Emma-" The air left his legs at the sight of the inured blonde. Seeing her unmoving, almost felt like a knife twisting in his gut. He physically felt ill as he quickly closed the gap between them. "You said you didn't hurt her!" he yelled, falling instantly to his knees to examine her head.

He tutted and stretched out his hands, spreading his fingers. "Uh, no. I said she was _safe._ "

"Emma?" he whispered, gently caressing her face. "Swan? Can you hear me?" he began checking her over when she groaned softly from his touch. "Swan?" his fingers touched her bruised and bloodied forehead, trailing down her cheek to rest on the side of her neck.

* * *

Emma's head was pounding and the inside of her mouth tasted of metal. There was a slight feel of fingers brushing against her face and the sound of voices speaking over her. She couldn't open her eyes, let alone decipher who belonged to the unclear sounds, but she remembered;

" _Guys! Hurry up! We still have like a whole 5 hours left!" Ruby yelled to Belle and Emma as they made their way into one of bathrooms at a truck stop. It was dirty and gross and you could probably catch herpes from sitting on the damn seat, but she was drunk and needed to empty her bladder._

 _Her eyes drifted shut at the release, but her brows furrowed at a commotion outside the stalls. "Belle? Did you fall in?" she asked with a giggle. There was no response. "Ruby?" she called out. "Hey! You guys still in here?" she quickly finished up and stumbled out of the stall to an empty bathroom. She was confused. They had all just come in together, but yet, she was the only one here. "Guys?" she called out again, nudging open doors with her foot._

 _One after another, after another, came up empty. "This isn't funny!" she hurried to the exit, swinging it open, only to find a big, burly man with a malicious smile on his face. "This might hurt a wee bit." a fist hit the side of her head and everything turned black._

 _By the time she had woken, she was in a completely different car. Her head was in excruciating pain, which made it difficult for her to open her eyes. But, when they did, she saw a man._

 _A man with silver hair and a pointed nose, was grinning over at her. A cane with a thick golden handle, was clutched between his hands. He was dressed to impress in an expensive looking suit and smelled of a strong, musky cologne. Two men were seated in the front. The one she recognized as the man who had knocked her out cold. The other she couldn't get get a good look at._

" _Hello, dearie."_

" _Where am I? Who are you?" she asked as she straightened in her seat, pushing herself into the door. "Where are my friends? The limo?"_

" _Ah, yes. You're friends are on their way to uh… Vermont, was it?"_

" _There's no way. They wouldn't have left without me."_

" _They would if they didn't remember you." he smiled, flipping his wispy hair away from his face as he spoke._

" _What do you mean? Who are you?" she asked again._

" _Gold's the name, and I believe you've grown quite fond of my best employee."_

" _Employee?" she asked confused. "I'm not following."_

 _He gave a soft chuckle and smiled as he spat out the name, "Hook."_

" _Who's Hook? I don't- you have the wrong girl. I'm not familiar-"_

 _He rolled his eyes and twisted his cane in the palm of his hand in annoyance. "Yes, yes, yes. Why wouldn't he tell you?" he looked over to her with narrowed eyes. "You've come to know him as Killian Jones."_

" _Jones?"_

Oh, shit.

 _This wasn't happening. Nope, not if she had anything to do with it. She lunged forward and grabbed the driver's head causing the car to swerve and lose control._

 _Gold growled in frustration, lifting his cane to whack her once against the head. She went limp from the force and fell back into the seat, passed out cold once again. He flipped the hair from his face as he sat back, looking over to the blonde who lay motionless. "I can see why he likes her."_

 _Upon waking up the next time, Gold was hovering over her, cane still in hand. "Welcome back, dearie."_

 _Emma was on the ground surrounded in dirt and splintered wood. She had no idea where she was, but it seemed like a mix between an old barn and a warehouse. "Where am I?" she asked in a groggy tone. "Where did you take me? What do you want?"_

 _Gold simply shrugged a response._

 _She jumped and looked around at the sound of far off gunfire. "What the hell?" she swung her head back around and looked up at the wispy haired man. "What's going on?"_

" _Seems as if your boyfriend has come to the rescue." he made a high pitched giggle before turning and limping off yelling orders to some man named McMillan._

" _Killian?" she breathed out. That still didn't explain the gunfire. It didn't explain anything at all. Looking around for any sort of exit, she came up empty. Seems as if he had purposely picked an area that was secure to prevent her from escaping. Well, if he seemed to think Killian was here… she'll just have to let him know where she was._

 _Scream after scream. Yell after yell. Her throat hurt by the time Gold had reappeared. "Stop with the screaming. It's quite distracting."_

 _Emma glared, and screamed again in defiance._

" _You two make quite the pair, I will say that. One more chance, dearie. Quiet." he warned._

 _She gave it everything she had in one final attempt of rebellion until his cane came up and clapped her on the head again._

Her eyes shot open and she pulled away from the hand that was on her. Shrinking into the pile of rubble behind her, she tried to focus her vision. It was still blurry from being hit in the head three times already. " _Can you hear me?"_ she heard a voice say. Blinking few times she tried to focus. Tried to make out the figure coming closer.

"Emma, love, it's me." Killian whispered, reaching out to move the bloodied strands of hair from her head. He slowly closed the space between them and cupped her face. "I'm here."

The blurred outlines of the dark mass coming closer slowly readjusted as Killian came into view. She reached up to touch his face, making sure he was in fact real, before throwing herself into him. His arms wrapped tightly around her giving her the security she desperately needed. She was safe now. He was here. He saved her. "I've got you." she heard him whisper, causing her to cling tighter to him. "Killian."

"Yes, yes. What a joyous reunion." Gold snapped.

 _Or not._

"We still need to discuss the terms of your employment."

Killian gently pulled away, kissing her forehead before he stood. "I've made it known, Crocodile. I'm _not_ working for you any longer. Now allow her to leave so we can be on our way." he instructed in an intimidating tone.

"Why am I even here?" she asked softly.

Gold smiled and nodded to Killian. "You're here by association, dearie. If he doesn't agree to my terms, you die."

Killian clenched his jaw and stared daggers into the silver haired man while Emma scrambled to her feet. It took a few attempts, but she finally managed.

She grabbed onto his elbow and pulled at it to get him to look at her. Slowly, he pivoted his body and eventually tore his gaze away to look down at those familiar green eyes. She watched the muscles in his jaw tick and his gaze glaze over. "What did you do?" she accused softly.

"Ah! Story time!" Gold giggled his high pitched laugh and smiled wide. "Once upon a time, there was a lonely, troubled teen in a local pub. He got completely wasted and started a brawl with two of my men." he stopped short and pointed to Emma, "I believe you're well acquainted with McMillan and Douglas?" he giggled again as brought his hand back and began pacing as he continued. "I hadn't encountered a man who could knock McMillan out cold in one blow, so I offered him a job."

Killian's eyes shut in desperation. "Don't." he pleaded.

"He trained and learned quickly. His field work was beyond comparison to any man I've had. Aside from one." Gold and Killian exchanged glances as Emma shook her head in confusion.

"Wh- what _exactly_ do you do, Killian?" she asked, turning towards him. "The _truth_ this time _._ "

He looked away, fully ashamed of himself. "Swan, please… don't ask me that." he pleaded.

Emma swallowed hard, furrowing her brows, as she attempted to piece together the story. "So, you know how to shoot. You seem to enjoy punching the shit out of people. Why did you need trained, Jones?" she asked, getting increasingly more pissed off and suspicious.

Killian caught her eyes, and pleaded once more through his gaze, shaking his head. He refused to admit his past mistakes to her.

"Well, if he won't tell you-" Gold started in his impish voice. "He's my best hitman." he stated with a smile.

Emma's face fell at the title description. " _Hitman?_ You-"

"I was in a dark place, Emma." he explained, cutting her off. "I had no money. No family. I had nothing to lose." he tried desperately to explain, but she didn't want it.

She stepped back and closed her eyes, bringing her hands out in front of her to stop him. "So you became a hitman? You had nothing to lose so you murdered for money?" she asked in disgust.

"He's quite the natural!" Gold chimed in. "My assistant trained him. Before _she_ _died._ " he spat.

Killian deflated further. "I didn't pull the trigger, mate." he muttered. " _You_ -" he pointed an accusing finger at him as his face twisted in disgust. "You murdered her! I did nothing!"

Gold scoffed and placed a hand to his chest as his jaw dramatically fell open. "We seem to be remembering two different things. _You_ _killed her!_ The moment you slept with my wife, she was dead to me."

Emma stumbled backward and slumped against the first thing she ran into.

Killian slept with his wife.

Gold's wife was his assistant.

The same assistant who trained Killian.

This man's wife had to have been his first love.

The more she learned about his past, the more she wished she had never stepped foot into his house with the food her mother ordered that stormy night.

"If you treated her like the woman she was, and not some useless associate, then perhaps she wouldn't have found company in my bed!" he accused.

"I loved her!" Gold yelled.

"Milah was _nothing_ to you!" he spat.

"Don't you dare speak my wife's name!" he hobbled over and shoved a finger into his chest. "Don't you ever speak her name!"

"Why?" he asked, putting his face in his. "Afraid she loved me more, Crocodile?" a slow smirk formed on his face when he saw Gold's facade begin to drop. "That's why you killed her, aye? She wanted to be with me. To leave you and that horrid occupation behind. Admit it. You couldn't fight for her… win her back. So, you killed her." His jaw was tense and his gaze was threatening. Fists were clenched and ready to fight. "You're nothing but a coward!"

Gold backed away and turned around to gather himself. "Changed my mind!" he started in his sing songy voice. "I'm going to kill-" he spun around, cane in the air as he finished. "You!" he raised his cane and smashed it against Killian's skull.

The force of the blow caused him to spin around and fall to his face. He attempted to get to his feet when the cane landed harshly against his back causing him to scream out in agony.

"No! Stop!" Emma yelled as she attempted to pull them apart. Gold shoved her away making her fall to the floor and hit her head on a piece of wood. She winced in pain, listening to Killian's screams and hollers.

He grabbed Killian's jacket, throwing him over onto his back and smashing the cane against his shoulder.

"Stop it!" Emma managed to yell out. "Stop!" her voice broke as she fought to get to her feet.

"Go ahead!" Killian wheezed. "Kill me. At least then I'll be reunited with her!" his eyes were locked onto his, smiling a bloodied grin.

The cane was thrown at his words before he fell on top of him, letting his fist repeatedly meet his face.

Killian managed to pull his arms up to cover his face before he shoved them upward into Gold's. He was able to stun him long enough to smash his forearm against the side of his head. He pushed him off and immediately rolled away, scrambling to his feet.

He laughed a dark and menacing laugh as he gently touch his bleeding eyebrow and bloodied nose. "Haven't lost your touch. I'm thoroughly impressed." he smiled and ran his tongue along his bleeding lip. The adrenaline coursing through his veins allowed the pain that he _would_ be feeling to be dulled.

Tomorrow would be a different story.

Emma looked to the both of them while Gold pulled himself up, grabbing his cane. "This is ridiculous." she muttered under her breath.

He straightened his suit and fixed his hair, before pointing a finger at Killian. "Come back with me, and she lives." he started through clenched teeth, moving his shaking finger to point to Emma "If you don't, she dies. This is my _only_ offer. Do we have a deal?"

Emma threw her arms up in the air and released a puff of air in annoyance.

 _Now we're back to this._

She looked to Killian who seemed as if he was _actually_ thinking it over. Her brows furrowed in confusion when he stepped past her, avoiding her gaze. "Jones? You're not seriously thinking about this are you?"

He knows the outcome if he refuses the deal. If he fights it, they both die. If he goes- "You can ensure her safety? If I leave with you?" he asked softly.

"Killian!"

"You have my word." he stated with a bob of his head.

He took a breath and slowly exhaled before nodding. "Deal." he whispered. Gold gave that impish giggle and clapped his hands.

"What?! No! You can't go back with him!" Emma argued, pulling on his arm.

He looked down at her with soft blue eyes. "This is the honorable thing to do, Swan. Your safety is far more important to me than my wellbeing."

"So you're just going to leave me? Because you think it's honorable?" she asked.

"No. I'm leaving because I love you. I don't want you hurt because of me. Sacrificing my life for yours is honorable. I'm already dead. My life is mapped out. This is what I am. This is what I made myself out to be. There's no way around it."

"I don't believe that. I've seen what you can be. You're not _him_." she motioned to Gold who mocked offense. "You have a choice."

"Tick tock, dearie! Tick tock." Gold chimed. "There's a plane to catch!"

"And I _choose_ to save you." he took her face in his hands and pressed a kiss to her lips. Tears had escaped her eyes long ago, giving the kiss a salty taste. "I love you, Emma. Never forget that." he whispered.

She grabbed the back of his neck to try and keep him there. To hold him as long as possible. To buy her some time. "You can't go." she whispered through her tears. "You can't leave me."

"I have to, love. It's the only way."

"I love you." she whispered through a soft sob. "Killian, I love you."

Their mouths collided in that moment, to share an overly passionate kiss. His heart broke even more at her admission. The words he's been waiting to hear, finally happened…. And now he has to retreat back to Scotland with Gold. He has to go back and be the man he's been trying so hard to change.

Gold rolled his eyes and slouched his shoulders. "Yes, yes, yes. You love each other. Off we go."

Killian reluctantly pulled away, letting his hands trail up her arms to unwrap her hands from his neck. He had to make this quick. Leave and not look back before he changed his mind. "Smee will take care of you. He'll take you home. Aikens is in the next room. He'll take you to him." he avoided her gaze as he spoke, bringing her knuckles to his lips. "I love you." he whispered. He gave her hands a squeeze before he let them slide from his as he backed away.

"Killian!" she pleaded through tears, stepping forward as he turned his back to her. "Please!"

His breathing grew quicker in pace as he roped in his emotions, pushing passed Gold. His jaw clenched at the brokenness in her voice. "I'm so sorry." he breathed out to himself.

Emma watched as they both left her and fell to her knees in an uncontrollable sob. She wrapped her arms around her waist and fell forward in a heap. This couldn't be happening. None of this was real. It had to be a dream. A horrible nightmare. Perhaps she was being punked? In the back of her mind she knew this was it.

She'd never see him again.

A fact that only made her sob harder. She couldn't control it anymore. Her happiness was ripped away from her and she couldn't be bothered with moving. Maybe she'll lay here until she wastes away. Nothing else mattered anyway. The only reason she smiled anymore was no longer here.

Only when gentle hands were placed on her back and arm did she pull herself up. "Killian?" she choked out.

"Sorry, milady. He's gone. Told me to come get ya." Adam explained softly.

"What's the point?" she was sniffling and hiccupping around the words.

"If it makes you feel any better, he was a total wreck himself. I've never seen him so emotional."

That didn't make her feel better at all. "Makes it worse, actually."

"My apologies, lass. I'm not good with this sort of thing." and he wasn't. He was bloody awful at it.

Eventually, they made their way out of the building and back to Smee. Killian's car was long gone and any traces of weaponry or bodies had disappeared along with him and Gold.

It was a long, quiet drive back to Storybrooke. Her thumb hovered over Killian's number time and time again. She shouldn't call. It'll only make the pain worse.

But, she missed him.

She loved him.

And he was gone.

People tend to say that things in life happen for a reason. Certain events lead you to where you need to be. That happiness is just right around the corner where you least expect it. Life has a funny way of stringing you along, but you'll get there….

"Life is fucked up." Emma sighed as her head fell back against the headrest, drifting off to a restless sleep.

* * *

 _ **We have reached the end.**_

 _ **Thanks for sticking with me this far! A special thanks to Loverofallfiction for being my support system for this story.**_

 _ **Please, comment on what you've thought of it. Good or bad.**_

 _ **Also, shall I continue on? Or, live on through epilogues? More on Killian's life perhaps? You tell me what you want to read!**_

 _ **Stay tuned! An epilogue (or more) will follow!**_


	20. Epilogue

_**~ 4 months later ~**_

Emma's face was buried in the pillow that still, very, _very_ faintly smelled of Killian. They haven't spoken, nor have they shared a text, since that day. Maybe it was best that way. Having a clean break.

It was still very fresh in her mind. The kidnapping. The fighting. The lies. The declaration of love. The departure. She's tried, really she has, to go on like nothing's happened. After coming back home and facing questions of how her face got all busted up, (she fell down the mountain. Lie.) and where Killian had disappeared to, (he went back. Work related. Wasn't a lie. Smee and Aikens also soon returned once they were satisfied she'd be okay.) her life went back to normal.

The same dull days. The same stupid job. Working for the same stupid tips. Waiting for some stupid miracle.

Today, though…. Today was different.

Today was a special day.

Today was cold and gloomy and she liked it best that way. The air was frigid as it blew through her bedroom, causing her to cocoon herself into her comforter even further. She turned her head, covering her nose with the blankets as her eyes wandered to the swan hanging next to her bed. Her eyes drifted shut at the memory.

" _I don't know. Are you sure we should use the cherry frame? Why not the walnut?" she asked as she popped open the back of the frame._

" _Cherry will bring out the vibrancy of the colors." he explained. "Your choice, love. It's your drawing."_

 _She held the drawing up and tilted her head in thought. "I still think walnut. It's sleeker."_

 _Killian wrapped his arms around her from behind and placed featherlight kisses against any visible skin. "Then walnut it shall be."_

Emma kicked the blankets off and hopped down from the bed, grabbing the picture from the wall. She flipped it over and pried the tabs open, taking the picture out of its home. Carefully, she turned it over and glided her fingertips over the swan.

" _Is it level?" he asked as he took a step back._

" _Mmm… it's slightly crooked. Tip it to the left."_

 _He pushed his thumb under the right side of the picture and stepped back again. "Better?"_

" _Perfect! Just like you…." she smiled and crawled over the bed to where he stood. Her arms slid over his shoulders and pulled him into her body to place a loving kiss to the side of his neck._

" _On the contrary." Lifting her hands to his lips, he began placing small, sweet kisses over the flesh._

She had dug the cherry frame out of her closet and had pried the back open before gently placing the picture inside. Her eyes drifted to the words he had written before they framed it originally. Her fingers traced over the fancy scrolling as her eyes welled with tears.

" _What are you doing? You better not ruin that!" she warned after finding the hammer and nails._

" _Always so untrusting, Swan." he smirked as he closed the lid to the marker in his hand._

 _Her eyes narrowed as she closed the space between them, peering over his shoulder. A smile took her features as her head fell to rest against his arm._

 _ **You'll always be the most beautiful Swan in my eyes. Love always ~Killian**_

" _You're_ _so cliché." she murmured._

" _Aye, perhaps. But it makes you smile and I'll do anything for that."_

Emma adjusted the picture on the wall and sat back on the bed to admire it. "Huh." He was right. The cherry _did_ bring out the vibrancy of the colors.

She had the day off from work today. Ruby mentioned something about… since it was her birthday she deserved it? Not that it mattered. This is what she would be doing _all day_.

Sitting and self loathing.

Perhaps she'll open that bottle of rum Killian had left a week before the incident. Take a page from his book and numb the feelings, having entering the stage of 'breakup and abandonment' where emotions were overrated. It was better to numb yourself than to re-live the pain.

* * *

"Go away!" she yelled from the couch. Emma was still dressed in her flannel bottoms, oversized shirt and one of Killian's hoodies. He didn't wear them often but the one he _did_ have, never made it back to his place.

"Emma! Open this door!" Belle ordered.

"Not home!" she put the bottle of rum to her lips and took a shot of the amber liquid. "Try again later!"

"Oh for heaven's sake…." she muttered before opening the entrance and stepping inside.

Emma slowly turned her head, furrowing her brows in disapproval. "You're breaking and entering." she slurred in a monotonous tone.

"It's not breaking and entering when the door is left unlocked. I'm just _entering_."

"Either way, you're unwelcomed." she muttered around the lip of the bottle. "Go away."

Belle placed her hands on her hips and looked to her in full disappointment. "This is ridiculous, Emma. It's your birthday. Get up and take a shower. Become a normal part of society and celebrate with your friends."

She scrunched up her face and shook her head. "Mmm….nah." she held up the bottle and her phone with a smile. "Got all the friends I need right here. And _they_ don't judge me for my body odor."

Belle rolled her eyes and strode over to pull the bottle from her hand. "It's been 4 months, Emma. It's time to let it go. His job needed him. And you need your friends."

"His job can go fuck itself." she spat. "So can you." she slurred, attempting to grab the bottle back from her hold.

She pulled the bottle just out of reach, ignoring the harsh comment as she huffed. "I'm sure he didn't _want_ to go. Why hold him against that?" she asked.

"Because there was a choice." she muttered.

"You'd rather him choose _you_ over his occupation?" she asked bewildered.

Emma snorted and pushed herself up from the couch. "Doesn't matter."

Belle sighed as she followed her into the kitchen. "Look, I came over to tell you that there are some people who would like to celebrate your 25th birthday. You know, your _real_ friends? Clean up and be at Granny's by 5. I guess she's closing up early for this so you _better show._ " she warned, waiting a moment for some sort of acknowledgement that she never received.

Without another word, Belle backed out of the kitchen and left the apartment altogether.

She thought about it for point two seconds, before deciding against it and going to grab the bottle again. "I don't need a party to make me feel better."

* * *

"You came!" Mary Margaret wrapped her daughter in a hug and smiled warmly. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart!"

"Yeah, thanks." Again, with the monotonous tone.

She pulled away and turned up her nose. "Um… just a heads up." she leaned closer to whisper, "You wreak of rum."

She widened her eyes, giving a small shrug. "My bad." she mumbled sarcastically. Emma pushed past her mother and took a seat at the counter.

No, she _didn't_ take his spot on purpose. It just _happened_ that way.

Emma pulled her beanie down low over her eyes, and laid her head on the counter.

She should have just stayed home. There wasn't anything to expect, except for the occasional Happy Birthday well wishes.

The night was coming to a close and she had yet to have any sort of fun. Although, seeing Regina fall from her stool after having one too many was pretty hysterical.

They cut the cake, after her childish attempt at making her wish come true, and divvied it up. She ended up sliding out soon after, though. Everyone was still having a good time, so it wasn't as if they'd miss her anyway. She needed air. A chilly walk would help clear her mind.

She cursed herself for not wearing a warmer jacket in late October in Storybrooke. Her beanie and scarf did little as a way to trap her body heat, especially here by the water. Instead of taking a bench, _their bench,_ she resorted in pacing back and forth to keep warm. The sounds of the waves made her eyes drift shut as she picked up a rhythmic pace.

Step. Step. Step. Step. Turn.

Step. Step. Step. Step. Turn.

Again and again. Over and over, until she couldn't feel her face.

Her legs.

Her hands.

She was shivering uncontrollably at this point. It didn't matter, though. Nothing mattered. Emma plopped down on the end of the dock and stared out to the horizon. The black of the sky melted into the deep blue of the sea, while the twinkling lights of the stars gave everything a soft glow.

It was 11:27pm by the clock on her phone.

"Happy Birthday to me." she grimaced while closing her eyes. She breathed in deeply, taking in as much of the salty air as possible. She felt somewhat calmer, but still very much numb. Physically _and_ metaphorically.

The sound of boots against the dock made the tips of her ears perk up.

 _Who wore boots tonight? Ruby. Regina. Belle. Ugh, damn near everyone._

"Go away." she whined in defeat. "For the love of gods, just let me self loath in peace." The footsteps came closer, before stopping altogether. Something hard gently tapped against her shoulder, making her forehead crease in irritation. "I said go away." she spat, opening an eye to peer at the object that _was_ _not_ moving despite her bitterness. She opened the other eye and blinked hard, staring at the flask next to her face.

"I find rum to be great company in these times." The voice was soft. Welcoming. Haunting.

The familiar accent filled her ears, and her mind, with disbelief. Her breathing quickened and her mouth went dry. She couldn't look up. What if it was all a dream? Some sort of trick her subconscious was playing on her? If she looked up and he wasn't there….

"Is rum your solution for everything?" she asked quietly, chills running down her spine at the anticipated response.

"Certainly doesn't hurt."

Goosebumps would definitely be present if she wasn't already chilled to the bone. A harsh breath escaped her lips as she built up the courage to take that chance.

Her head turned first, keeping her eyes to the water, before closing them altogether.

 _Do it. Just do it. What's the worst that can happen?_

Her eyes slowly opened, taking in the sight of brown boots, tight, dark wash jeans, and the hem of a black peacoat. Drifting up further, she saw the familiar stubble, adorable pointed ears, that handsome soft smile and annoyingly attractive brow that always seemed to be raised. Piercing blue eyes returned her bewildered emerald stare, as she attempted to wrap her mind around the fact that the body standing before her, _was indeed_ , truly here.

"Killian." she whispered in disbelief. Grabbing the flask that he was still graciously offering, she scrambled to her feet and all but jumped into his arms, nearly knocking them both into the water.

"Happy Birthday, Swan." he whispered into her hair.

She choked out a laugh through her tears before grabbing his face in her hands. Their lips crashed together in a long, overdue, and sloppy kiss, filled with happiness. And sorrow. And longing.

But, there was one feeling, one emotion, that overshadowed them all.

Love.

Four months. Four, very long, months was far too much time away from this woman and he was lucky to have even made it back. He felt her trembling in his arms and knew it wasn't just from her crying. Reluctance at it finest, he tore himself away to unbutton his wool coat and shrug it off. "You'll catch your death out." He whispered, throwing the coat around her shoulders and rubbing her arms to create the friction she desperately needed.

"You're back?" she asked in disbelief through chattering teeth. But, a much more burning question needed to be asked. "For how long?" her eyes narrowed and tone lowered in suspicion.

He purposely avoided her gaze as he straightened the jacket on her shoulders. "I would have arrived sooner, but there was a wee bit of a layover."

"That wasn't my question." she deadpanned.

"Let's not talk about that right now." he replied, softly.

Her face fell at his words. "So, you're going back?"

"Let's make the most of this, yeah?"

She released a humorless laugh as she pulled his coat from her shoulders. "Just go. Make it easier on me and leave."

"Emma-"

"I said go!" she shoved the flask and his jacket forcefully into his chest, before sprinting down the docks. She had to put distance between them before she could begin to feel anything else. The emotions she's worked so hard to try and forget.

She was thankful that home was literally right around the corner.

Barreling through her door and slamming it shut, she quickly stripped her clothes, throwing them every which way, as she entered the bathroom. Turning the water on full blast, she didn't even wait for it to heat up before entering. It was cold, but she was already numb. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. "Why?" she asked herself. " _Why?"_ the tears began falling.

Her knees gave out from underneath of her. By the time she reached the bottom of the tub, the water was scorching. Maybe if it rolled over her long enough, she'd be able to feel something again.

 _Why come back just to leave? Why torment me?_

The shower curtain tore open, revealing a distraught looking Killian. "Bloody hell." he mumbled as he adjusted the water and stepped inside, still fully clothed. He closed the curtain back before carefully prying the sobbing Emma from the bottom of the tub. "Come on." he urged gently.

"No! Just leave me alone!"

"Emma…. Love." he grunted as he heaved her up, sliding a firm arm underneath of her armpits. His other grabbed her waist and pulled her into his body. He maneuvered her around to face him, pushing the wet locks from her face. "Look at me." he pleaded softly.

She shook her head, trying to push away.

 _I'm not doing this. I'm not going to feel this again._

"Swan." taking her face in his hands, he pressed a kiss to her lips. "Look at me." he whispered urgently.

"No. I can't." she whispered through her tears. "I can't do this. Not if you're leaving again."

He kissed her again, this time with more urgency and remorse. "Emma." he pleaded. "Look. At. Me."

Her body was shaking, not from the cold this time, but from every emotion she was feeling at this very moment. Slowly, her irises revealed themselves to focus on his. They were filled with as much hurt as her own. "I-"

He shook his head and slid his thumb over her cheek to press against her lips, silencing any argument she were to throw at him. "Don't." He leaned his forehead onto hers, still keeping her gaze. "Happy Birthday."

Emma's hands slid up the clinging cloth of his shirt, fingers trailing over the familiar feel of his muscles, before her hands glided up and behind his neck. She pulled at him, causing their lips to meet in another loving gesture. The wall of the shower was soon pressed against her back as they continued to take the time to revel in each other.

Once the hot water ran out, so did they.

His clothes were left on the tub floor in a wet heap.

Emma was wrapped around him as he carried her to the bedroom. Their hair was still clinging to their heads, and their bodies were covered in water droplets.

Killian placed her down gently on the bed, coaxing her back as he climbed on top of her. His lips trailed up her torso, nipping and leaving wet kisses on each mound as he passed. A gentle kiss was placed on her throat, her chin, her lips. He raised his head to look down at her, whispering, "I love you."

Those words haven't been spoken for four months. They still made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, even after all the shit she's done to try and forget. "I love you, too." A ghost of a smile appeared on her face, before disappearing altogether. "Don't." she pleaded quietly. "Don't do this."

If they were to take this step in reconnecting, she knew that it would be twice as difficult for her to forget about him when he left again.

"Emma-" he lowered his forehead to hers and sighed. "Not right now." he whispered, before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "Let me make love to you." he pleaded back. "Please."

Her fingers carded through his wet hair a few times as she thought. His eyes danced over her features as he waited patiently for her answer.

Emma lifted her chin to meet his waiting mouth, kissing him slowly. Passionately.

Their hands mapped out each other's bodies, sliding over the still damp skin. There would no roughhousing tonight. This particular moment was to be fully savored by the both of them.

Killian's hands slid down her thighs, guiding her legs around his waist. His lips caressed her neck as her nails lightly trailed along his back. Soft sighs and heavy breathing filled the room as he slowly entered her.

She pulled his face away from her shoulder to look up at him before kissing him softly. "I love you." she whispered.

"And, I you." Their lips crashed together as his hips continued on in their love making.

* * *

"You changed it?" he questioned softly.

Emma was wrapped around his torso, afraid that if she let him go for a split second, he would leave again. Her head lay resting against the place in between his stomach and chest, feeling the way it rose and fell with his breathing. "What?" she asked a bit confused.

"The frame. It's different." he pointed to the swan in the cherry frame, causing her to smile.

"Seems you were right. It _does_ bring out the beauty of the colors."

Normally, he'd laugh and make some stupid joke, but it wasn't the right time.

He knew how much it tore him apart, to walk away that day, and not look back. But, he couldn't bring himself to think about the pain it caused her. That's what the rum was for.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. If he would have met her gaze, he would have changed his mind and this whole situation would have had a different ending. The fact she had changed out the picture frame, as small and as stupid of a gesture that it was, let him know all that he needed. "Emma?"

"Killian?"

He smiled softly at her usual response. Never would he have imagined that a simple reply meant so much. "Would you like your gift now?" he asked.

Emma turned her head, resting her chin just below his sternum, to look up at him. "You mean there's more?" she teased.

He gave a soft chuckle, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm touched that I mean so much to you."

"I love you." she replied, not really understanding why it was so hard to wrap his head around that.

"And, I you."

"So, what is it?" she asked before sliding off of him, feeling that he was attempting to stand. "Where-"

"Relax, Swan." he assured while wrapping the sheet around his waist. "Just going to the other room." he kissed her forehead and disappeared.

Killian picked up his coat and dug through the breast pocket pulling out a small jewelry box. He clutched it in his hand, biting down on his lip, with closed eyes.

Upon his return, Emma had wrapped the damp comforter around her own torso. "There's an old Irish tale-" he started, coming around the side of the bed, keeping the box from view. "My brother had shared it with me, once I was old enough to care. According to old Irish folklore, a fishing boat from the village of Claddagh was captured by Algerian pirates and the crew was sold into slavery. One of the crew was a young man by the name of Richard Joyce, who was to be married the same week he was captured. Instead, Richard found himself far away from his love and his homeland." he looked to Emma and took one of her hands in his. "He was sold to a wealthy Moorish goldsmith who taught him the trade, and eventually, he became skilled enough to design a ring of special significance. The eh, hands were for friendship… the crown was for loyalty… and the heart… was for love."

Emma's brows began to furrow in confusion as she started to stiffen. "Uhhh… I-"

He squeezed her hand gently as he pulled the box from between the folds of the sheets. "Years went by, but Richard never forgot his sweetheart. Somehow, he managed to escape and make his way back home to Ireland. When he arrived back in Claddagh, he discovered that the lass had never married. They were wed immediately, and the ring he gave her was the one he had designed and made while he was a slave." he released her hand to lift the lid of the box, revealing a petite solid gold Claddagh ring. Pulling it from the box he took her right hand and slid it up her ring finger. "Worn on the right hand with the heart pointing out means that the heart is uncommitted." he took it back off and turned it around, sliding it back up her finger. "Worn on the same hand with the heart pointing in means that the heart is taken." He slid it back off and reached for her left hand. His eyes met hers as he slid it on her ring finger, heart pointing out. "Worn this way, it means that the wearer is betrothed."

Emma straightened and pulled her hand away. "Killian, I don't-"

"It doesn't have to be. Just part of the tale." he gave a small smile and took her hand back, sliding the ring back off and turning it before replacing it. "Worn this way, with the heart pointing in means 'Let Love and Friendship reign forever, never to be separated.' also meaning, the wearer is married." he concluded.

She looked to the ring and slid it off of her hand, holding it up to look at it. It was certainly beautiful, and obviously meant a lot to Killian, but what was he asking? "Is this-?" she started.

He shook his head taking her right hand in his. "It's just a ring. If that's what you want it to be." He took the gold band from her, and replaced it to her ring finger on her right hand.

Looking down at the band, she noticed the heart facing her. "My heart is yours." she smiled, lunging forward, placing a kiss to his lips. "I love it. Thank you. And thank you for sharing that story with me."

" _I_ should be the one thanking _you_." he admitted.

"Me? For what?"

His hands found hers, as his eyes focused on the newly aquired piece of jewelry on her finger. "For understanding. I wanted so badly to stay with you. But, I couldn't. If you knew what would happen-. If you saw what Liam shown me-." his emotions were starting to overtake him, distorting his face at the memory.

"It's okay. I'm safe."

"But at what cost? We're apart. And I'm the man you don't want me to be."

Her hands left his to cup his cheeks, raising his head to look into his saddened eyes. "I told you… I will _always_ see the good in you. But, I'm not going to lie. I'm still very angry and extremely hurt."

"And I apologize, love. I never meant for this to happen."

"You never called. Or text. Not one attempt."

"Neither did you." he countered. "I figured you hated me. I didn't blame you. _I_ hated me for what I'd done."

"I could never hate you, Killian."

"Don't be so sure."

Silence fell between them for what seemed like hours. But, in reality, it was only about 30 seconds.

Her fingers found the hair at the nape of his neck, as her head softly fell against his. "How long?" she whispered.

"Emma-"

"How? Long?" she asked again, not really wanting to know the answer.

His nose brushed against hers while his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. "I'm to leave in the morning."

She couldn't breathe. Killian had only just arrived and already he's flying out in a few short hours. "He doesn't know you're here, does he?"

"No."

"If he finds out?"

"He won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

Killian nudged her her head up with his nose, looking down into those green eyes. "You leave this to me. Aye? This isn't your worry, love. Let it go."

She obviously had no choice in the matter, so she simply nodded.

"Good." he placed a kiss to the underside of her jawline, and smirked. "How shall we ever spend my next few hours?" he asked against her skin, pulling the comforter from her body.

Emma couldn't stop the smile from forming as she giggled at his love bite. "I may have have a few ideas."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note**_ _ **: By popular demand, I'm happy to inform you all of you, that there will be a second installment!**_

 _ **It will be entitled: Through The Eyes Of The Beholder**_

 _ **So, keep a lookout!**_

 _ **Be sure to subscribe to me so you can be alerted when I begin publishing it!**_

 _ **I've written some of Killian's past that I may publish as "extra" one shots. They'll be published on this story. So watch for those, too!**_

 _ **Thank you, lovelies! Mwah!**_


	21. Author's Notes

Thank you _all_ for reading and loving this story!**

I absolutely love reading your commemts! Good and bad! Keep them coming!

I have decided to publish Killian's past in its own document. It's entitled: Killian Hook Jones: The Missing Years

It won't be a priority, being that I now have the sequel to this story under my belt. Along with another fun story that I'm working on!

So, sit back. Don't hate me too much on my cliffhangers. And enjoy the sequel, Through The Eye Of The Beholder, as much as you did this!

 _ **Kisses!**_

 _ **~HookLineSinker5**_

**side note: For some reason, FanFiction didn't update my upload date. So, for those of you who haven't read it yet. The epilogue is up! Enjoy!


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